Ayatollah before but you never asked

Christmas as an adult

2011-12-18T22:39:00.005-04:00

This comic made me laugh and think. Hover your mouse over the picture for a hidden comment bubble from the author.

Adults tend to have this view of Christmas. Every year we wish for the magic and joy of Christmases from our childhood. Instead, we get grouchy and bah humbug after cleaning the house, baking treats, buying presents for people who send wish lists after you've finished shopping, etc. There are a lot of negatives to this season, and adults usually end up concentrating on most of them. Yet, we keep doing the same "traditions" every year. It's like the definition of insanity: we keep doing the same things and hope for a different result. Maybe this year I'll get the X I always wanted. Maybe this year I'll get that old Christmas joy feeling back. The older I get, the harder it seems to be to recreate that pure joy I used to get as a kid. Given that my mother isn't going to come over and do everything for me, I don't expect that back. But some other parts would be nice. Gone are the times where I'd sit near the tree and read. I'm too busy now.

So why do we keep doing it? Why not throw everything aside and head to Hawaii? Are you afraid you'll miss that one year where it becomes magical again? I guess we hang on to these things because the glimmer of hope is still there for the Best Christmas Ever.

In the end, I think the secular part of Christmas is for the kids. They get the most joy and long-lasting memories. Since I don't have any kids, I can't share in that joy. If I were around my nephews more often, I would probably be more into it.

But no matter how much it makes logical sense to do so, I can't let go of my own traditions.

Disappointing

2011-12-12T12:19:00.003-04:00

Since my grandparents passed away, my mother's side of the family makes a point of having a family get-together for Christmas. This year, the usual host has been busy with health issues on her husband's side of the family, and understandably can't host. No one else can or will step up to the plate, so it looks like there won't be a party this year. I think this will be the first year ever that I won't see them before Christmas.

When my grandparents were still alive, there was a lot of activity on that side of the family. We did a LOT together. Since they passed, events have been few and far between, not having the Grammy & Grampy glue to hold us together. That makes this Christmas party even more significant: it's one of the few times we do get together now.

I wish I could step up to the plate and host, but I have two problems: my house is small, and we're talking about 40 people. Second, my aunts do not like cats, and I have Romy. Had the usual host notified us sooner that she would be unable to host this year, we could have suggested an alternate venue. There are also some family politics involved that included people not wanting to suggest they take over the party this year for fear of angering the usual host.

My family, for many years, was the host of the party. My other grandparents, who lived behind us, were always included as well. Those were the "golden years": the happiest times burned in my brain. An incredible amount of work for my mother, who cooked until her arms fell off, but enjoyed hosting her family.

This is a tradition that I will really miss this year. I am very disappointed, but am making an effort to not be too whiny about it. I have family, friends, health, food, shelter. I'm lucky where many others are not. I will try to keep that in mind, and make plans to visit everyone on Boxing Day.

UPDATE 12/18: the party has been rescheduled for Boxing Day. Not ideal as others now have plans that can't be broken, but at least some of us can spend some time together. A few aunts and uncles came down for mass this morning and then we went to lunch, so I was able to exchange gifts and spend a short time with them before the big day.

Even if it is partially my fault,

2011-12-01T12:09:00.002-04:00

I'm tired of dealing with you, asshole, and your asshole way of doing things. Wish I could punch you in the face.

20 years in

2011-11-02T12:19:00.002-03:00

20 years ago today, Mum, younger brother ("A"), and I went to Calais for the day. A started getting incredibly thirsty, and kept drinking and drinking and drinking. It was out of character for him, and when we got home, Mum took him to the hospital. A was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.

As an 11 year old kid, being diagnosed a diabetic 2 days after Halloween is the highest level of Morissette irony, and my brother loved his candy. It was a bumpy road to get adjusted to that lifestyle at such a young age. He's gone through many trials and tribulations, added some extra diseases along the way, and has had numerous hospital stays, though none directly related to diabetes.

He's had some very positive experiences though. Joslin Diabetes Center is a world-class facility in Boston. They have done more for him than anyone around here, and A is probably at the level where he could teach others. We were so fortunate to have the money to send him there and get the testing and training to better manage his conditions. I wish that could be an option for everyone.

Mum has been instrumental in keeping A on track, her medical background helping immensely. Even now, he and she still discuss his various issues. Mum has spent years helping him learn to take his insulin, regulate his diet, keep records of his blood sugar, tend to him during his hospital stays... I can't possibly total all of the things she's done to help him along the way, but she's an integral part in why he's as healthy as he is today. I hope he fully realizes that.

I hope he can keep up-to-date on the islet transplant trials, and that eventually he may qualify. He was so disappointed when he was told he wasn't going to be part of the trial, but I have hope that they will expand over time.

I'm glad he's still around, and I love him.

It's probably me that's the problem

2011-10-30T21:47:00.003-03:00

Tonight was the pumpkin carving party -- my 9th. Every year I seem to push myself to make it as "perfect" as I can. I bake more, I decorate more, I clean more. This year I put in a crap-ton of effort: 2 straight out days of cleaning, baking, and setup, on top of the shopping, preparing, and decorating I've been doing all month. I enjoy it, but I wouldn't go to all this effort for just myself.

Based on the replies to my invitation, I figured I had about 20 people coming this year. Seemingly more than usual. That made me very happy, as well as concerned that I'd have enough snacks for everyone. I'm of the belief that if you throw a party where you tell people you're providing food, you do more than just chips in a bowl. So, I shopped and baked accordingly.

How many people actually showed up? 9. Those 9 people were quite happy to be here, but I couldn't help but be disappointed about the other 11 who were sick, had to back out for stated reasons, or just plain didn't show up or notify me. To top that off, the weather was particularly bad today, and that likely encouraged people to stay home.

I will grant you that I am a bit too focused on the people who weren't here vs the happy people who did come and enjoyed themselves. I'm not angry at anyone: shit happens, I get that. Maybe I just try to do too much, try to make it too special. Or maybe people just don't get how much work and effort I put into making this a fun event. Maybe if they knew that, they wouldn't just not show up.

The question is: do I put in less effort next time, knowing that I expect too much of people?

Materialism, School, Traffic, Reading, and Being in Pathetic physical condition

2011-09-06T10:42:00.008-03:00

I wish I could stop comparing my material wealth with those around me. All it serves is to make me feel bad; it's not like the others know or care. I need to learn to be happy with what I have and thankful that I am as fortunate as I am. This is one of those life-long lessons that I may never master, but I need to keep trying. Material wealth is not important, and I need to get that through my head.

I really don't give a shit about kids going to school. If they actually learned grammar and how to read, and graduated as intelligent individuals, then maybe I'd give a crap. But most of them will grow up to be entitled-feeling drains on society. Hard to get excited when education is a farce; misguided goals and no money.

[My comment above was supposed to mean that it's a farce to think the same standard of education can be delivered with fewer & fewer resources, and the misguided goals meaning spelling, grammar, and literacy falling by the wayside. It was not supposed to imply that teachers suck.]

I do care that school will add traffic to an already congested roadway and will force me to get up before dawn to eventually get to work on time. Construction continues on the bridge I take daily, with huge inefficiencies in traffic management. "Let's close an exit and then not change the traffic light pattern at the 2nd exit to account for an increase in the number of cars!" "Let's force cars to line up for over a mile in single-file rather than use both lanes to the merge point!" "While the bridge is under construction, let's also fix this overpass and add to the congestion, but make sure you don't work past 4pm!" "Let's ignore the fact that the speed limit is reduced to 70 near the overpass construction even when no one is there working, how's that for efficiency!" The city and province are horrible at traffic management. I guess they figure we "don't have much traffic" so why would we need to make alterations? They end up making things worse. There are still few traffic lights in our city with sensors. "Too expensive." I'm sure things are looking really nice in our new Police Palace though.

My reading tastes are changing. Probably a result of being in a couple of book clubs. I'm enjoying historical fiction more lately. I'm fascinated by the past and what it was like to live in those times. I often wish I could just step into the past for a visit, to see in-person what things looked like. I wouldn't want that to be my daily reality, but it would be very interesting to see.

I've started back on a goal of 10000 steps a day. Haven't managed 100% of days, but on the days where I've made an effort, I'm succeeding. Walking doesn't do a whole lot for weight loss, but I am at least getting some form of exercise and not sitting on the couch all the time. Not that you'd know it after my 2-day muscle burn from Saturday night candlepin bowling. It's pretty sad when I bowl for a couple of hours and then it takes at least 2 days before my thighs feel like they're not screaming every time I go up or down stairs.

Flight stress, perfectionism, and other ideas

2011-08-18T09:18:00.006-03:00

I spent roughly 12h this week deciphering, planning, choosing options, and finally booking flights for an upcoming trip to the US. I had a 15% off coupon which expired Monday. Though part of this trip is work-related, I thought I'd save both me and work some money and perhaps earn some brownie points. Given the expiry date, I spent most of those hours on Monday trying to get a combination of flights that would work for us.

Problem #1: Coupon was no good on a multi-city flight. We need to leave home, fly to Eastern US, then to the West coast, then home. Air Canada doesn't fly between points in the US, so that meant I had to use the multi-city option, or book two one-way flights. Either way, I would have only been able to use the coupon once.

Problem #2: After deciding to split it into two one-way flights in order to use the coupon, and applying the coupon to my order, Air Canada removed the option to purchase a lounge pass for our 3h stopover in Toronto. If I removed the coupon, the lounge pass option came back. I picked up the phone and called to ask why, again, they won't take my money. After being on hold for a while I gave up. The coupon was only going to save me $100 total and by 11pm Monday night I had had enough and it wasn't worth it anymore.

Problem #3: Between Monday and Wednesday, one of the flight legs went up $150 per person. I not only gave up the $100 coupon savings, but also increase the overall cost by $300. At this point, I was ready to smash something. The pre-dawn flight was still at the lesser rate, as was the late-night flight, but I wanted to go in the middle of the day, at a reasonable hour, on a Sunday. Waiting two days to plan appropriately and determine other options equaled punishment by having to pay a lot more than anticipated.

Problem #4: Air Canada seems to force me into making snap decisions if I want to save money. "Grab it when you see it" is not something I can usually do. My husband thinks I take too much time and effort into getting the perfect/right answer, and there is some truth to that, but read the fine print. Ticket change fees have now doubled and are $150 per person. If I hadn't taken the time to make sure we got the exact flights we needed, I ran the risk of paying another $300 to make changes. $300 was the cost of flying from SoCal to home, so that's a pretty significant chunk.

Air travel has become a stress-inducing activity. It's difficult to book what you want, when you want, for a reasonable price. It has gotten to the point where Aeroplan (Air Canada's flight reward program) has become so limited that it's not worth my time to check for a points flight if I have any kind of schedule to adhere to. Since I'm not retired nor do I own my own business, I have a limited amount of vacation time and have to fly after work/on weekends.

We have a wedding to attend in mid-January. I thought this would be an easy time to fly, points should be available since it's after Christmas and a quiet time. My plan was to leave Friday night after work, and return home Sunday afternoon. Checking Aeroplan yielded some of the worst options I've ever seen. The only option for the times I specified was from SJ->Halifax (4h drive from home)->Moncton (1.5h drive from home)->overnight Moncton-Montreal. There was obviously no human logic component to these flight choices. Why would anyone want to fly to Halifax, back to NB, stay overnight 1.5h away, and then get up before dawn the next morning to go to Montreal? If I thought it would do any good, I'd call Aeroplan and complain that that should not be an available option. So in the end, for a short-haul flight, normally 15000 points per ticket, the only decent options available cost 50000 points per ticket. I only have 41000 points right now.

It's hard to get a deal when you have a set schedule, and yet I keep trying. I guess I should value my time and stress levels more. I'm also not sure why I bust my ass trying to get Aeroplan points when I can never use them for actual travel.

I have Air Miles, which is a different loyalty program, and almost enough to get two flights to Montreal in January. I would have to pay a small fee to top up, but can probably get us two tickets for $400. I think I need to start putting more effort into Air Miles and less into Aeroplan.

Soft-where?

2011-08-04T14:16:00.007-03:00

I've been staring at this list of 130+ software issues for 3 days now. In some cases, literally just staring. Most of these have been outstanding for over 2 years. We've been promised changes, but yet here I still am with pretty much the same list. It's been a very lethargic week for me, I barely feel like typing keys. It's no wonder given that we continue to have the same problems and never see any real resolutions.

I've decided it's time to stop being Ms. Nice Girl and to make sure the writing is on the wall. If we decide to quit this software, we have to give a year's notice that we're leaving. I think I'd like to make sure the Big Cheese states that next week during the software company visit.

I'm tired. This software is draining me mentally and physically, and if significant changes aren't going to be made, then I don't want to devote my energy to it anymore. If I could see that good things were coming, that a couple of upgrades would solve the majority of our problems, then maybe I'd be excited and optimistic. I passed that point a while ago.

I still don't have the upgrade I was promised last September. I only recently got over some very large problems with a seemingly minor upgrade. This doesn't make me excited to move forward, even though the changes in the new version do look positive.

I thought the management changes would help the software become better. It seems this company has continued to employ the wrong people. Despite laying off quality long-tenured staff, they managed to keep the primary development and programming people who continue to keep the product mired in "why would we change that" land. I guess no one else complains, or complains enough, but I know we can't be the only company experiencing certain problems.

If you sell a physical product, inventory is one of, if not the most, important aspect of point-of-sale software. You simply must know how much of something you have so you know what you can sell. No sales = no money. Simple concept. Yet I have continued to express how unreliable the inventory system is, how much better their other software is/was at inventory, and have suggested they look to that to solve what I think is the most important issue. I keep talking to a brick wall, because the development staff are too close to the product to admit that it was crap, and it's based on a product that has been crap for over 20 years.

I'm really feeling lost this week. I feel like I have no hope. Since I don't have children and not much in the way of extracurricular activities, work is a large part of my life. So this is dragging me down a lot more than it would other people. I just want to curl up in a ball and escape from it.

No celebrating here, apparently

2011-06-16T16:38:00.002-03:00

I've been working very hard on trying to fix a software issue. It's been 2.5 months and I'm exhausted and very close to being burnt out. I had a conference call today with the right person at the right time, and the small changes that were made fixed the problem. I asked my users to log out and back in, and tell me how it was. Out of approximately 200 users, I've had one phone call and 3 email replies. So 4 people cared about it enough to tell me it was better.

IT is a thankless job. I wasn't expecting praise; it technically wasn't me who fixed it. I did expect those who constantly complained about how slow it was to at least take a minute to tell me it was better. Guess I overestimated them.

I feel like I'm celebrating alone, and that puts a damper on what I feel is a major accomplishment. If no one cares enough to tell me, then why have I been busting my ass for the past 2 months trying to get it fixed?

Quest

2011-06-01T11:21:00.000-03:00

I'm headed to a luncheon today for our hospital's Auxiliary association. Last year I felt underdressed in my usual casual pants and tops. Having not worked uptown in years, I ditched my suits for clothes more suitable to crawling around on the floor fixing PCs. My old suits were donated, either being outdated or too small. This left me with no suits, and after my grandfather's death, scrambling to find something to wear. Jenn helped me find a suit then, at a great price, on very short notice. In Florida this spring, she again found me a great deal on a gray suit for me to add to my navy suit. So gray-suited I went to work today, along with my new hooded trenchcoat -- a purchase I made after standing in freezing cold wet weather at the top of a hill for my uncle's funeral. My husband found that coat for me, a good blend of stylish but practical. Not quite as dressy as my old coat, but I will get more use out of it.

The only problem I'm having today is my usual problem: shoes.

Quite a while ago, I bought a pair of black leather pumps with a patterned patent toe, simple but not plain, and not too likely to be dated. At the time of trying them on, I thought my usual size seemed too short, so I went up a 1/2 size. I now know that was a poor choice. As a result, these shoes are just a bit loose because the leather has stretched, and they always hurt my feet. I keep them and use them because I haven't been able to find anything better, and when I do wear them, it's usually for such a limited time that I can deal with the discomfort.

I've been on a quest to find a replacement for these shoes. The only pair of basic black pumps I've found recently are Stuart Weitzman pumps, which although they come in my size, are often too high, too expensive, or both. "Chicpump" is a nice shoe, not as appealing to me as my current shoe, but would do as a replacement. At this point, I'd probably pay the exorbitant $300, but the only choice is suede, which is utterly useless when you live in a wet climate. I've ordered and tried other pairs, so far no luck. My choices are limited and if I have to spend $200-300 on shoes, I'd better damn well like them enough to keep them for years.

My dilemma this morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, is that I don't have a comfortable shoe that goes with a suit to wear for the rest of the workday. I don't like driving in heels, and I do not have any flat black leather shoes: another quest I have been on for a while. There are fewer choices in flats, being not as popular as heels. Any flats I find seem to always have a damn bow on them. I don't want bows. What's the deal with bows? Others aren't dressy, have an open-toe so aren't all-season, or some other ugly attribute. And this is after expanding my search to sizes that aren't really going to fit me. I ended up wearing shoes that aren't really meant to be worn with a skirt, but I can't torture my feet all day.

The quest for shoes is a difficult one when you don't have normal feet.

Observation

2011-05-31T08:51:00.001-03:00

You don't fully realize how pathetically annoying you were after a big break-up until you start seeing the tweets of someone who obviously just broke up with their significant other. You're 19, it's not the end of the world, give it a rest.

To make up for being hypocritical, I would now like to apologize for 2004. :D

Getting older and not more valuable

2011-04-26T11:29:00.005-03:00

Today is my husband's 40th birthday. (Happy birthday, honey.) My mother, upon learning this, commented that we [her children & their spouses] are all getting old.

My husband was watching a cartoon TV show where there was a flashback to the '60s and I asked if the '60s characters were the main characters' parents. He said, "grandparents". I did the math, and yeah, I guess that's right.

Not sure why, but I seem to be having a hard time remembering that I'm not the youngest adult generation out there anymore. I have relatively little responsibilities compared to my peers with kids, so maybe that is partly why. I am in good health, and have had some minor physical changes, but overall I'm pretty much the same.

In a culture that promotes youth and treats age like a disease, it's hard to get excited about getting older. It seems the greater your age, the less relevant you are in the eyes of today's North American society. So while I don't care that my age is x, and shouldn't care what anyone else thinks either, I know the irrelevancy train is going to slam into me sooner or later.

There are a lot of birthday cards with "getting older" jokes, but not a lot of "young & stupid". How about more of those, because there are some truly stupid young people out there today. I was careful not to get "over the hill" messages included in John's birthday party tonight. I think that is a negative and mean-spirited message that promotes our youth-based culture.

I wish we could trade in this part of our society for one which values its elders. Maybe then getting older wouldn't be a joke.

Life: boring & "real"

2011-04-23T22:33:00.001-03:00

So far this year I've read 3 biographies: one of Cleopatra, an autobiography of Agatha Christie, and am in the middle of an autobiography of Tim Rice. Reading biographies isn't a usual choice for me, but as I grow older, I find that my literary choices are changing*.

Reading biographies is an interesting view into someone's life, but also an easy way to see how dull your life can be in comparison, and how bad your memory is for past events (provided you don't keep a diary or journal). I could pretty much sum up my life thus far into a few bullet points:

Born
Did well in school academically
Got a university degree
Failed CA
Had a couple of serious relationships
Had 2 jobs: one in accounting and one in IT
Got married
Adopted a cat

That's pretty much it. I can flesh out some of those topics some more, but it wouldn't be the subject of a book that anyone would care to read.

This is, in part, why I can't understand the viability of the Real Housewives TV series, Jersey Shore, The Hills, or any other slice-of-life "reality" TV show. It's obvious that the "events" which happen to these people are fictional, because otherwise they'd be as boring as me. Who watches these shows? Is life so bad for you that you have to live vicariously through fictional characters? I don't feel the need to supplement my life by watching fake life pretending to be real. I'm growing increasingly tired of seeing episode recaps of these shows on websites, I skip past them as fast as possible.

The truth is that most of us aren't all that special. When today's parents attempt to brag about their child reading at an earlier-than-average age, or walking sooner than most, etc., I can't help but chuckle a bit. Your kid probably isn't anything special, and lots of kids learned to do those things early (my mother says I read her the obits when I was 4). I will admit, I am not a parent, and if I was, I'd probably brag right along with the rest of them.

I was a fan of reality TV when it began. It was fun at first, but I grew out of it. I wish the rest of America would do the same.

*Not that I intend to make a habit out of reading biographies, as I can't say I've loved what I've read to date. Jury is still out on the third, but it's the best so far.

Letting the past come back to haunt me

2011-02-11T22:26:00.000-04:00

There was a bright, shining moment where I thought I had a shot.

“It’s an IT job. In L.A. At Warner Brothers,” he said. “They’re looking for someone with 10 years of IT experience and accounting background, preferably a CPA.” I said, “Hunh. Interesting. Though I am not a CPA, and only mostly a CA,” and chewed it around in my head some more. “It’s in L.A.,” he repeated as I was about to leave. “At Warner Brothers. It may be worth putting in a resume, at least.” “Send me the link to my home IM and I’ll look at it tonight,” I said. I’m not actively in the market to move us back to SoCal, but it may be worth dusting off the resume and seeing how far I could get. If nothing else, it could be a small ego boost, something I could use right now in my career life. I left for work, starting to feel like maybe there was something else out there for me. Something at the home of Looney Tunes AND I’d be qualified to do. That I might be desirable to a company like that seemed a bit hard to fathom, but exciting and full of possibilities.

I came home that night and read the job posting, realizing that I should have left the casual conversation at the casual level. The posting was not for an IT manager with accounting background, but for an IT auditor. As I read through the qualifications, it hit me like a ton of bricks: they want the person I thought I was going to be. The girl who passed her CA and had been planning to go forward and get a CISA and be an IT auditor. Had things gone as I’d hoped back then, I’d be well established in that vein by now, and would likely have an excellent shot at attaining this job. Reading through this posting was like being in an alternate universe and going back in time all at once. My hopes fell, and I crashed back down to the ground. All the old feelings of hurt, failure, plans gone awry came rushing back like it was yesterday. “They want an IT Auditor,” I said. “And I am not an IT Auditor.”

I still have the same emotions surrounding it. Anger over not being able to pass the finals, twice, seemingly no matter what I do. Frustration over having put so much personal time into a 100% pass-fail career. Embarrassment over the realization that after spending 3+ years after university studying the subject, I still had no idea what I was talking about: a realization that came when I re-read my exam answers. How can a person who spent 16 years at or near the top of her class suddenly fail repeatedly? Aren’t you supposed to get what you want if you work hard enough? What that experience taught me is that no matter how hard you work, it does not guarantee success. I also learned that you can’t do whatever you want; some people are just not cut out for certain things. I saw many unworthy people pass, and many worthy people struggle.

I still have no regrets over quitting after 2 attempts. It was the right decision. I really didn’t belong there, I wasn’t good at it, and it was time to stop spinning my wheels. What I haven’t been able to overcome are the emotions attached to the process. The nerve is still very raw, as evidenced by my reaction to reading that job posting. I’m left with the reminder of failure, and of feeling dumb for the first time in my life. Simultaneously, I am also dealing with auditors at work. As I type this, one auditor emailed to request a conference call, and another is waiting on me to produce reports. These are the last people I really want to talk with right now.

There are comments I'd like to make about my current job/career, which is where I ran to when I escaped public accounting. I'm reluctant to post them here, though, because I suspect there may be people reading this who could use the information to their advantage and my disadvantage. I won't give them that satisfaction, nor myself the hassle.

It is a common statement that life is what happens while you're making plans. Things don't always turn out the way you hope or dream they will. I've come to the point where I'm ok with giving up that career path, not really being convinced it was truly "my" path. But that doesn't mean I'm over the feelings attached to my attempt. It may not be a constructive use of my time, but that's my prerogative. I don't focus on it very often anymore, but it does creep up now & then, as with this job posting. The longer time goes on, the more I'm able to let it go. As of right now, I still need more time.

Happenings

2011-02-11T21:53:00.001-04:00

I realized from a friend's comment that I had left a few things hanging on here, so I thought I'd better update.

My brother was declined for the trial islet treatment. Unfortunately, they strung him along. They should have been up-front in stating what they were looking for (consistently low blood sugar) instead of allowing him to start tracking his status and get his hopes up. He received the news that he was declined just before Christmas, so that didn't make for the greatest of holidays for him.

A couple of weeks ago, he started having pain in his abdomen. He then went to the ER the next morning, was admitted to the hospital, and they eventually figured out he had appendicitis. Given his other medical conditions, it wasn't the easy diagnosis it is with most people. He had surgery and is now recovering, having gone back to work this week and got the staples removed from the incision. The appendix was indeed rotten, so thankfully they got it out before it ruptured. Still hoping there are no post-op complications, or that something in one of his other health issues doesn't get stirred up by this.

We've managed to put some money aside from John's work for our upcoming vacation as well as various projects. I think we are finally able to go toilet shopping. The toilet I purchased in 2008, just prior to John moving in, has proved to be a piece of crap (no pun intended). It's defective, but I didn't really click in that there was a warranty on it until after it expired. The defective aspect is a larger-than-normal hole where the toilet water enters the bowl, leading to water spitting out of the bowl and hitting the seat and sometimes the wall. We have to raise the toilet seat, flush it, and then lower the seat in order for the seat not to be wet. In addition, the toilet is just sluggish and never seems to flush everything down without holding the button, which I don't think should be necessary. Last time I went to Home Depot. This time we plan on going to an actual plumbing supply store, and talking to someone who knows the products they sell. We'll pay more, but that's fine as long as I get a good toilet that will last and work properly.

I haven't talked much about Romy on this blog, more out of lack of time. I wasn't sure how I would like having a cat, but I think overall I'm very glad he's around. I wish he would learn not to put holes in my clothing by hooking his claws in and then tearing the clothes as he tries to extract himself, but I try to remember not to pick him up while wearing work clothes. This week I was unsuccessful at that, and he left a hole in my sweater. I salvaged it, but I wish he'd learn to retract his claws before trying to get away. I have been disappointed lately at how often Romy is curling up with John on the couch. I would like him to do that with me as well, but it happens much less frequently. I'm the person who isn't around all the time, and John is a cat person, so Romy goes to him more than me. Romy isn't the cuddly lap cat I'd hoped he'd be, and people keep telling me he will grow more like that as he gets older, but I'm impatient. Thankfully tonight he did decide that he wanted to come up on the couch with me for 10 minutes. I've been looking at the pictures of a couple of cats at the shelter, wondering if they'd be more cuddly with me, but I'm just not sure that's fair to Romy. It's his house, and I'm not sure he really wants a cat buddy invading his territory. What I may do instead is donate a spaying to the two cats I've been looking at, and perhaps that will help them get adopted. In all likelihood, those cats wouldn't want me anyway. Romy is the only cat so far who seemed to indicate he liked me for more than a reason to get out of his cage.

We've been having some bad recipe failures lately, so I started a photo collection of dinner failures on Facebook. I'm a decent cook, and a better baker. John is a good cook. But it seems that whenever we go outside our comfort zone and try a new recipe, it doesn't end up tasting very good, or looking very good, or both. It's a way of dealing with the disappointment.

After some unsuccessful trips to Michaels, I went online and purchased the yarn I needed for John's scarf. I have yet to start it, but I hope to cast on this weekend. It would be nice if I actually finished it before the end of winter. No luck yet with yarn for a scarf of my own, but that's not as important.

Our trip to Florida is coming sooner than I anticipate. It didn't strike me until a short time ago that this vacation will actually be 2 weeks out of the office. I intended to take a week, but with the flights we got and needing to be there before and after our friends, it resulted in 2 weeks away. It will be nice, but I'm afraid I won't get enough done before I leave, and I'm afraid I'll like vacation too much and won't want to go back. The dangers of time off. It's almost better not to bother with it. Almost.

I've started using sites like Groupon to see what deals I can get online, and look for deals in places we may be headed to on vacation. So far I've purchased a $20 Amazon gift card for $10, a $20 voucher for Bath & Body Works for $10, and a $40 manicure for $20. I used the Amazon gift card toward the purchase of a Kindle for myself (stole John's too many times since Christmas). The Bath & Body Works voucher was combined with a 7 for $20 sale on soap which I ordered my favorite scents no longer available in-store. The manicure was a great surprise because I had just booked an appointment for a week prior to our vacation. As we get closer to a trip home to SoCal, I'll pay more attention to the getaways there. I've seen a couple of great deals, but that's something we'd need to plan ahead for.

Return to knitting

2011-01-18T16:08:00.002-04:00

Winter is back in full-force, and after a 10 month hiatus, I decided to pick up the needles again. My husband and I both want specific types of scarves, so why not make them? I seem to be having some difficulty getting started, and not from lack of trying.

My husband has been commenting for a while that he wants a specific design of scarf, and I keep saying that I need him to accompany me to the store and pick the yarn. On Sunday, we managed to be in the right place at the right time to get that done. Unfortunately, for the pattern he wants, we didn't pick up enough yarn. We discovered the pattern after visting the store; I had been intending to wing it. Coincidentally, the yarn company's free patterns included one that is almost exactly what he wants. I thought this was a good sign that I was on the right track to knitting something that might work out for a change.

Back to Michaels I went today on my lunch hour. I'm not sure where the problem lies with yarn labels: do the manufacturers not make them strong enough, or do people just manhandle them in the store? Either way, I couldn't find a matching dye lot, and had to return the ball I previously purchased. I got a rain check to come back and get the two balls, but who knows when that will be in stock. I finally have some motivation to start knitting again and am stymied by this.

Obstacle #2: I like some needles and dislike others. My local yarn store carries a few different brands of needles, but last year I noticed they seemed to be ordering less of the kind I liked, and more of the kind I didn't. I thought perhaps they were phasing out that brand. Today I called the store, before trudging uptown to waste my time, to see if they still had them. A very unhelpful person answered the phone and didn't understand my clear statement of "Do you carry SRK bamboo needles" and proceeded to tell me, in an annoyed tone, "We carry Clover". Well, I can get Clover at Michaels for 40% off with coupon, and I don't like Clover to begin with, so I guess I'll have to source the SRK elsewhere. I emailed the company and asked if they had any online vendors since my local store stopped carrying them. The manufacturer told me the flagship store had placed a large needle order just last week. Well. Thanks for nothing. So I guess I have a couple of options: trudge uptown and talk to someone in person, or just drive out of town to the flagship store and speak to people who actually want to help me.

I seem to have an aversion to knitting with expensive yarn, I tend to screw up and get frustrated about "wasting money", so I generally try to stick with Michaels because I can either catch a sale or use a coupon. I picked out a silk bamboo for my own scarf, and am going to do a simple rib pattern. I want it to be basic black and uncomplicated, but a smaller knit, not chunky. I will need probably 6 balls for this project, and reg price is $6. Luckily there is a 25% off sale Saturday morning at Michaels, so perhaps I can get out there in time to find 6 matching dye lots.

I want to make some progress on something, but by the time I get the materials, I may lose my motivation. I guess I'll start another dish cloth in the meantime.

Small updates

2010-12-14T13:24:00.002-04:00

We just had a huge rain and wind storm, which eliminated all of our snow and caused state of emergency flooding in St, Stephen (at the NB/ME border). Today seems to be sunny and "warm" (48°F), so I think I'll be able to walk on my lunch hour. Since the days are so short now, I've gone into hibernation and lethargy mode. I don't feel like getting up in the dark, and when I get home from work I just want to curl up under a blanket. Sunrise is close to 8am and sunset around 4:30. One more week and at least the days will start to get longer. Bed will probably still feel just as comfy.

Our Christmas tree is currently drying out in the garage. At some point last night, it fell over and dumped the bucket of water all over the garage. More of an annoyance than anything else, but I had to stop and right it, then fill it back up again. Romy has decided he loves drinking from the watering can, so as soon as he sees me bring it out, he begins a barrage of meows, despite being in full view of his water dish.

My crashed hard drive, that contained my only copy of a lot of data, is unrecoverable. They are shipping it back to me and then I begin the process of a warranty claim with Western Digital. I ordered a new Seagate hard drive for my OS, since that drive had issues 2 weeks before my data drive. I just want to start over and hope this never happens again. We purchased an external backup drive, so I will be making regular backups. I also still have the data from an older hard drive I found and purchased recovery software for. I was able to get 2009 and earlier data, so in the end I am missing any pictures from Jan-Aug 2010, as well as all my email/contacts. This includes all of the emails from when John and I first met, unless I can find them in an archive somewhere. I'm disappointed in that, I wanted to save them since they are our "love letters". John does have a copy of them though, so all is not lost. In the end, it has cost me around $200 instead of $1300, so for that I am thankful.

We booked flights to Florida for March Break. The best we could get using points resulted in the redefinition of the term "milk run". 7h layover in Halifax plus 3 planes on the way down. 4 planes on the way home. It was that or pay $1500 for near full-fare tickets. Money won out and we got the milk run. I'm going to call Aeroplan every week or two until the trip to see if I can't get it changed to something better. Maybe someone else will change their plans and I can upgrade. We're lucky to get what we got, so I am not complaining, I just hope we can do better and don't actually have to take 7 flights!

Organ donors

2010-11-30T12:30:00.000-04:00

My younger brother has been diabetic since 1991. 4 years ago, he was also diagnosed with lupus, Addison’s, and hypothyroid pretty much all at the same time. His health has never been a great subject and has led to hospital time and scary days for our family.

A couple of weeks ago, my father saw a video news report about a new treatment for diabetes. My parents and my brother began talking about it, Mum doing a lot of research and making contacts. Within a couple of days, my brother was in contact with the Clinical Islet Transplant Program at the University of Alberta. He spoke to them back & forth about his medical conditions, his medications, etc. Last week he received word that he can begin the application process to be part of the program. He will go through 4 weeks of consistent blood sugar testing & recording, get his doctor’s signature, and fill out the necessary paperwork.

The procedure entails taking islets from cadaver organs and then transplanting them into my brother's liver. Luckily, he is a very thin person and likely to only need islets from one donor. Timing will depend on the availability of donors, but it could happen as soon as March of next year.

There are still more hurdles to overcome, and I try to temper my hopefulness with realism, but it’s hard not to be excited. If this transplant works, my brother’s life expectancy could be increased greatly. He could possibly see some improvements in his other medical conditions as well. Not to mention the freedom of foods and beverages and not worrying about insulin as much, or possibly, at all.

It’s an exciting time for him. I pray that he will continue to get through the next steps of the application without roadblocks, and if he finally makes it to Transplant Day, that it will work without incident.

A few years ago, my grandfather received cornea transplants from an organ donor. I had been thinking about organ donation for a while, but after this event and the improvement to my grandfather's sight, I decided to pull the trigger and actually sign up. The donor corneas allowed my grandfather to have better sight so he could still read and function on his own. I thought of how many people my organs could save, how many stories you hear of people killed in accidents and how their organs can help multiple people. I have a relative and a friend who are both on transplant lists, and I know how much it matters to me that they stick around as long as possible.

I do not drink coffee, tea, or alcohol. I am in good health. My wish is to be cremated after I am gone from this world. While I hope to live a long time, if anything were to happen to me, I'm sure my organs would be quite valuable. I could save and/or improve the life of many people who needed it: daughters, mothers, fathers, sons, brothers. In my mind, it is the ultimate gift.

If you haven't thought about organ donation, please do take some time to consider it. Think about your wishes for your body, your religious views, your health status. If you're like me, in good health and don't wish to be buried, then I encourage you to consider signing your organ donor card. When you do, inform your family so they are aware of your wishes. You never know when you, or someone close to you, may need a donation to live.

No Frills

2010-11-18T09:22:00.002-04:00

No Frills opened in place of Superstore on the West Side. It's been a few months, and I have been there only three times, and once I did not purchase anything. They have a few policies I don't like, and I finally got around to drafting a note to send to them:

No Frills recently opened in my neighborhood and I am very disappointed. Your policy of not taking Visa as a form of payment has limited my desire to shop in your store. I use Visa for most purchases and I do not frequent stores who refuse to accept it. I am also frustrated by your shopping cart policy. While the deposit system may be desirable for your company, it is not convenient for the customer. The carts provided are large, heavy, and difficult to maneuver. The smaller carts, which were very popular and easy to use for most of the clientele of that store (primarily senior citizens), seem to have disappeared. It appears that the more senior staff were laid off in favor of student workers, who don't seem to be very helpful or friendly -- they barely look at me, let alone smile, while I am checking out. What used to be a weekly trip to Superstore has now turned into an avoidance of No Frills.

If you don't take Visa, then I'm not going to spend my $100 grocery order at your store, it's that simple. I don't carry a lot of cash, I don't want to use debit, I want to use Visa to build up my points. This policy has driven me to shop primarily at Sobeys, and I have also been spending more of my money at Co-op, who needs it if they're going to stay in business. Co-op's student workers are also quite friendly and helpful.

Having to pay 25¢ deposit to get a shopping cart out of hawk is ridiculous. I know the thinking: if the customer has to pay for it, it will get returned to the stall, people won't steal them, etc. All it has done for me is make sure that if I go in the store, I don't buy enough to need a cart. Or I take a free cart from Zellers lying around in the parking lot. This policy is only convenient for the person who bought the carts, not the people purchasing things in the store. The worst part about the carts is the removal of the small carts. They were my cart of choice, much easier to handle, and I know I'm not the only person who thinks that. There a many senior citizens on the West side, and if I'm having a hard time steering a giant heavy yellow cart, I know they must be too.

They laid off most of the senior people at this store when it changed banners. In their place are student-aged workers who obviously are only there because they have to be. That attitude shows through in how they deal with you at the checkout. One girl mumbles and barely looks at me, I actually try to avoid her line if I am there. Another just seems like he's tired and you're bothering him. I just haven't had a great experience dealing with the checkers at this store.

I'd be interested to know how things are going at this store since the change. I heard some of my co-workers talking about how great the low prices were. I agree, some sale prices are the lowest in town, and that is the sole reason I have been in the store a few times. This store also re-introduced a bag fee, something that had been so unpopular it was eliminated across the Maritimes last year. I'm curious which side has won out: low prices, or cart deposits/bag fees/limited payment options/less selection. I wonder how many have defected to Sobeys, or now choose to go to Superstore in other parts of town.

A Fine Balance

2010-11-17T20:11:00.001-04:00

Since I missed book club, I decided to blog my thoughts about the book. Spoilers follow.

**********************

This is one of the most depressing novels I've ever read. It seemed as though something bad would happen, and when you think it couldn't get much worse, something worse would happen, then something terrible, then something horrific... it just never stopped. I wasn't expecting a garden of roses, but this novel really wore me down.

For most of the novel, the characters are not likeable and I found myself with no sympathy for any of them. Frankly, I couldn't understand their motivations. Repeatedly Ishvar and Om seemed to allow themselves to go with the flow of injustice, rather than try any attempt to rally against it. Even near the end, when the Family Planning goondas were collecting them, they had the opportunity to attempt escape. Frustratingly, Ishvar decides to stay put because he hadn't done anything wrong. He seemed to learn nothing from his experiences in the labour camp. Dina spent the first 2/3 of the novel being a bitch. Maneck's situation with his parents angered me; people don't live forever, stop pseudo-fighting. He waited until it was too late to understand his father. Om and Maneck together were jackasses, stupid teenagers doing stupid things and being first-class perverts.

It's funny, I spent the majority of this novel saying about Ishvar and Om, "these people should just end things and put themselves out of their misery. Nothing good will ever happen to them." I was frustrated but kept reading because I wasn't sure what the end game was. When I got to it, I had to re-read the paragraph because I had skimmed it too quickly. What? Maneck jumped onto the train tracks? He's the one person who just started to plan a good future, and then he does this?! A repeat of what happened in the beginning, where the train was slowed due to a body on the tracks.

I enjoyed The Book of Negroes. Bad things happened, and even without the pat ending, I felt a sense of hope somewhere inside. I did not feel the same way about this book, especially not after Maneck jumped the tracks. Sure, Dina became more soft-hearted over time, still looking after the tailors years later. I just felt kind of blah at the end.

Ishvar might still have legs if he had gone to the dispensary to look after himself once Om was stable. Om might still have all his organs if Ishvar had just relented and let him choose his own wife. Ashraf Chacha might have lived longer if they had taken their chance to escape. Why in hell couldn't Om have written to Dina to explain at least a very small portion of what happened? So many times they left her hanging, and this time they had the opportunity to send her a simple letter (Ishvar hurt, can't come yet) and yet noooo, Om just doesn't know what to say and does nothing.

Although both this novel and the film Slumdog Millionaire are works of fiction, they are two accounts of the worst parts of India. If there is any truth to both, then it would lead one to believe that conditions have not improved much in the years between 1975 and 2008, and that would be a depressing thought.

I didn't hate the book, but it wasn't an enjoyable read. At least Maneck didn't turn into a tiger right before jumping off the platform. That being said, this book has stuck with me, even after finishing it over a week ago. There’s something to be said for that.

Christmas progress and frustrations

2010-11-03T11:57:00.002-03:00

I am both pleased with my progress on Christmas shopping and frustrated at the same time. I have managed to get most people to give me their lists, which I took and turned into an online registry. I hope that by me doing the setup that they will take it and keep it updated after that. Since we all don’t live in the same house anymore, it’s tough to determine what someone wants, needs, or already has. If we’re going to exchange presents, I need ideas.

I still have three holdouts for giving me ideas. One will produce a list eventually. The second I can think of a few types of gift cards to send that I know she would enjoy. The third, I have absolutely no idea. She has refused to answer any of my requests for ideas, lives far away from me so I don’t get to spend any time with her to know her interests, has 2 small children and thus not much time for herself. I gave my best idea to someone else, which leaves me with no friggin clue what to buy her.

If I didn’t think it would be insulting, I’d consider getting her nothing. If you don’t provide ideas, then I assume you don’t want a gift. I am someone who prefers to buy a gift that I think the receiver will actually like or use. Even if I strike out, at least my thought process had them in mind, as opposed to pulling a knick-knack off the store shelf because I have to have something to wrap.

I recognize that it is still early in the process for Christmas shopping, but the sooner I have things settled, the sooner I can relax. I don’t want to keep harassing her, but if she doesn’t answer me within the next week*, I am just going to have to pull something out of the hat and not worry whether she actually likes it. I hate doing that.

*deadline not imposed by me, but by other circumstances.

Toshiba's bilingual notebook keyboard

2010-09-21T22:54:00.000-03:00

I have used and purchased Toshiba notebooks (laptops) for the majority of my 13 year working career. Within the last few years, Toshiba Canada made the decision to supply only bilingual keyboards on all of its laptops. Customers do not have the option to choose a US English keyboard even if they wanted to.

Canada is a bilingual country. Approximately 2 million are francophone, 4 million are bilingual, and the remaining 30 million are anglophone. I'm having difficulty understanding why we are catering to the minority by default. I am not saying bilingual keyboards shouldn't be available. I do think the customer should have a choice in what keyboard they purchase. Since the keyboards can be swapped out without even taking the laptop apart, this should be an easy choice.

Below are some pictures of a Toshiba Netbook keyboard:

Bilingual keyboard

US English keyboard

Mostly identical, but the main difference is the Enter key. On the bilingual keyboard, they thought it was a good idea to make the Enter key vertical instead of horizontal. It's as if they have no idea how much this screws people up. Accuracy goes totally downhill on this keyboard. It drives me so insane that I bought a US English keyboard from eBay and intend on replacing the bilingual one before I even power on the unit. Who messes with the Enter key, one of the most frequently-used keys?

I'm interested in the opinions of French Canadians on whether this keyboard is just as annoying in your language as it is mine. There has to be a better layout than this and still include all the necessary keys. There are so many extra symbols and colors on the bilingual keyboard that I find it visually distracting. When I'm not making mistakes, that is.

I've written to Toshiba Canada to express my displeasure of not having the option to choose a keyboard. Any future laptops I purchase for personal use will be bought in the US, purely for this reason. It's that important to me.

Toshiba Canada, I think you need to reconsider your position.

Comments

2010-09-21T22:37:00.002-03:00

Every time I re-enable anonymous comments, I get someone who decides to hide behind anonymity and flame me. So I had to remove it again. I'm not interested in what you have to say if you won't identify yourself in some fashion.

Aging: Life's Cruel Joke

2010-08-25T10:58:00.000-03:00

Just when you get to the point where you’re comfortable with yourself, life decides to throw the concept of aging at you, and then everything changes. For me, this seems to have manifested in a variety of physical changes: I’ve gained weight, my hair color has darkened rapidly, my skin is extremely dry. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself anymore. I fight against it, but deep down I know there’s not much I can do. It’s depressing, mainly because in our society, the older you are, the less respect people give to you. I didn’t get much respect to start with, I can’t imagine it going downhill from here.

I find it especially hard going from the straight size 0-2 that I used to be, to having to buy size 4 or 6 “curvy fit” pants and S instead of XS tops. Marketing strategists can come up with all kind of words for it, but essentially it all boils down to the fact that my hips have too much fat on them. “Curvy fit” doesn’t make me feel more feminine, it makes me feel fat. Clothes shopping is no longer a matter of seeing something I like and buying it, it’s now a huge rigmarole of trying a bunch of things on, realizing that clothing manufacturers only cater to people without hips, and deeply sighing at the thought that I didn’t used to have this problem.

I’m trying to eat healthier, exercise more, and hope that I can see some changes on the outside. I’m ashamed of the level I’m currently at, and I swore to myself I wouldn’t let it get this far. I’m probably the billionth person to say that, and may be the billionth person to fail at it. But for now this is my path, and I’m sticking to it.

Manicure

2010-08-20T11:15:00.001-03:00

Last year was a particularly busy one for me at work. I worked a lot of long hours on a new system implementation. One of my rewards was a gift certificate to a day spa for 5 hours worth of services. Since I am an average office worker Mon-Fri, and have church late on Saturday afternoon, I could never find 5h to devote to the spa. I chose instead to use the value of the gift cert to treat myself and my best friend to pedicures and manicures.

I opted for colored polish on my hands and feet. By day 2, the polish from my manicure had already started to chip. 5 days later, it's so bad that I will have to remove the polish rather than look this sloppy. I'm not impressed. I will accept some responsibility for being hard on a manicure, since I was out in the hot sun yesterday on an ATV in the woods (not the usual dealings of someone who gets manicures). However, I think my aesthetician and the quality of the products are also to blame. She did not go as far down on the nail with the polish as I would, perhaps this is what is taught in school, but it ends up looking like my manicure is two weeks old and has grown out. I was not familiar with any of the polish products used on me, but I especially am not impressed with the top coat. Top coat should protect against chipping, and yet it has basically worn off after 5 days.

I am debating a complaint to the spa, but I'm not sure I have any leg to stand on. The gift certificate was for a spa which went out of business, but a new spa opened in the same place. They decided to honor any outstanding gift certs for the old spa. They likely don't want to hear a complaint from [essentially] a non-paying customer. However, the service I received seems faulty. I really don't think it should look this bad, even though I haven't been easy on it. I don't think you should have to organize your life around protecting your nail polish. So I'm not sure what to do about it, but I will have to make a decision today. I have a party to attend tomorrow, and I can't leave it looking like this.

Thoughts on Sirius|XM

2010-08-16T16:04:00.000-03:00

One of the very few times where I actually want CanCon is in my 80s music. I grew up with Much Music, in a time when it was Znaimer-owned, and still had some integrity. A lot of the bands promoted on Much Music went on to have great careers and notoriety within Canada, and had some great songs. Many of these songs are right up there with Duran Duran and Heart in my playlist.

Listening to Sirius|XM, I miss hearing Canadian artists. They play a smattering of Bryan Adams and Corey Hart, and that's it. There is no time devoted to Kim Mitchell, The Payolas, The Box, The Grapes of Wrath, Alannah Myles, or Tom Cochrane (with or without Red Rider). The more I listen to Sirius|XM, the more I miss these artists. There is a channel for French Canadian programming, no doubt to comply with CanCon, but this leaves the English artists out in the cold.

One of the biggest problems with 80s on 8 is its repetitive nature. Its programming focuses around what was played on MTV, which I will grant were the biggest hits. The problem is that they play a lot of those hits once or more every day. As someone who listens to this channel in my car, and sometimes during the day in my office, it starts to get annoying after a while. A friend of mine, who received a free 3-month trial with his new car, declined to continue with the service. He cited dead zones and repetitiveness as the two main reasons he wouldn't be continuing with the service. "How many times can they play 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'?"

Another problem with the programming is the division of catalog. As an 80s fan, I will flip between 80s on 8, Classic Rewind, and 1st Wave. I can only hear The Cure and Depeche Mode on 1st Wave, certain rock songs on Classic Rewind, and the rest on 80s on 8. Unless they are playing the weekly countdown, I would never hear things that were also hits of the 80s, like Kenny Rogers, Eddie Rabbit, or Stacey Q. There is a ton of variety to choose from, but they have segregated the programming so much that they end up with a repetitive mess, or as in the case of 1st Wave, some extremely mainstream pop songs mixed in with very obscure artists.

In one very weird example, 80s on 8 rarely (if at all) played Michael Jackson's Beat It until after his death. Arguably the biggest 80s artist, a song which is on the best selling album of all time, and was a big hit for him. XM, before the merge with Sirius, had a better 80s program director and better variety of music, with the small exception of being a little too focused on Jody Watley for a while. I don't think I've heard Jody Watley more than twice since the merger. Kenny Rogers and Eddie Rabbit had hits in the 80s, whether we like them or not. I can't believe they're finally playing an INXS song on 80s on 8. For being such a hit-prolific 80s band, you wouldn't know it from listening to this channel.

I took a look at the playlist for Galaxie, the commercial-free music service that is part of Canadian digital or satellite TV programming. This is pretty much what I want: Prince's When Doves Cry mixed in with National Velvet's Flesh Under Skin. Unfortunately, having only the old-style analog cable service means I don't get this programming, nor Much Retro, which would play the same style only in video form. If I were made of money, I would upgrade my cable to digital. Alas, I am spending too much money already on TV.

If I had an iPod, and a car with an iPod port, I'd be thinking a bit more strongly about canceling the subscription to the car. I'll be taking this into consideration when I go vehicle shopping next year. I just hope GM has finally smartened up regarding this type of technology. My car is a 2007, and yet it only has a 6-cd changer, and can't even play MP3s. I am probably the only person I know who still makes mixed CDs for my car.

All that being said, the current Sirius|XM is still better than traditional radio. It's easy and convenient to use in my car, and I can and do flip around to other channels. As a long time user, however, I realize how repetitive it truly is. Every once in a while, though, they pull something out that I had totally forgotten about. I guess that's what keeps me hanging on. I also like someone else making the decisions for me on the playlist... sometimes.

The game

2010-08-04T11:29:00.000-03:00

Some days you just get tired of playing the game. Today is one of those days. I can’t get any answers. I don’t think I have enough energy today to put up a fight. Even if I did, I would probably just get flicked away.

I’m not intentionally trying to make anyone’s life more difficult. It just so happens that people perceive it to be that way. It’s difficult to explain that that is not the case.

Sometimes I feel the soul is slowly being sucked out of me, and then there will be nothing left.

I’m not sure how I will get through what has been planned for August.

July 20th

2010-07-20T08:39:00.002-03:00

I added an app to this blog listing events on this day in history. Lots of interesting stuff there. Snow and hail fell in Calais, ME. Failed assassination plot on Hitler. 1st men on moon. Scottish settlers arrive in Pictou, NS.

I can't imagine snow on July 20. That would have been a crappy summer.

Speaking of summer, where's it going? It's already over halfway through July. Once August hits, I start to get a little nervy about summer ending soon. Guess I'd better enjoy the rest of July while it lasts.

Just under 3 weeks to go until the start of NFL preseason games. NFL, how I've missed you. I will enjoy seeing how the new landscape of players & teams pans out.

To the California Penal System:

2010-07-08T09:10:00.002-03:00

Please keep Lindsay Lohan in jail for the full 90 days. I don't care if they're overcrowded. Find a way.

Anniversary of birth

2010-06-29T12:30:00.001-03:00

Nana would have been 86 today, had she not died at age 65. I'm missing her today.

Allergies

2010-06-24T12:40:00.000-03:00

I had allergy testing done this week. I tested positive for trees (Birch being the highest), moderate on dust mites, and low on cat pelt. This does not go well with my wood stove and basement full of wood, including lots of birch. There are also birch trees around my property, but about the only place I can go to escape birch is the desert.

I also have Romy, who we’ve allowed to come in and out of the bedroom at night as he pleases. Everything I read says that keeping the cat out of the bedroom is important. So is sleep. Having Romy scratch at the door all night because he can’t come in means I won’t sleep, and then allergies won’t matter so much. I also don’t consider the cat to be that much of a problem since it was one of the lowest-rated positive item. I swore I wouldn’t be a cat owner who was bullied into obeying the cat’s every whim, but the only time Romy actually likes me is when I’m unconscious/just waking up. He gets to stay, mainly because I don’t think he’s the problem.

My doctor has recommended allergy covers on the bed and pillows, keeping the cat out of the bedroom, and some running to determine if I have any signs of asthma. I can probably accomplish one of those. Running is not something I want to take up full-time as I don’t care to create damage to my joints. It may be worth some trial runs just to see how quickly I run out of breath and if I have a “twitchy” airway feeling.

My doctor also thinks that based on my results, I have understated my symptoms. I don’t really think they’re that bad. They were worse when I also had the sinus infection over the winter. Comparatively speaking, I’m much better now. Still, my medicinal therapy is to use Aerius (a.k.a. Clarinex in the US) and Nasonex once a day. I hate using Nasonex, as I find it always drips back down my nose and makes me more sneezy than before taking it. I also don’t want to rely on it as a long-term solution. I’m fine with Aerius, though I don’t like putting any medication in my body if I can avoid it.

This is my path for the next 7 weeks, and then I go back for another doctor visit to see how the therapies worked.

What is it, exactly?

2010-06-21T10:50:00.003-03:00

The possibilities:

- Boredom
- Laziness
- plain old lack of caring
- lack of motivation
- Burnout

I haven't pinpointed it, but it's left me feeling pretty lethargic. I haven't yet come up with a goal, so I can't work toward it. That in itself is particularly frustrating.

At the rate I'm going, it feels like it will last this way for the rest of my life.

I need to figure this out.

New template

2010-06-11T12:59:00.000-03:00

When I logged in to Blogger, I discovered a new template designer/formatter. Hello, new format! More purple = good!

Santa cables

2010-06-09T16:21:00.003-03:00

Santa may be the only one who can get me the cables I need, so maybe I did.

Mysterious washer

2010-05-18T22:13:00.003-03:00

How exactly does an article of clothing come out of the washer more dirty than when it went in? I have eliminated the detergent and fabric softener as options. My washer has been doing this to clothing for years, sporadically. When it happens, it's usually a dark load (or at least that's the only place I'm noticing it). It happened using this same machine in my apartment uptown and my house.

I just don't get it.

Keeping quiet

2010-05-17T09:31:00.005-03:00

Ever draft a blog, thinking you know where you're going with it, somehow thinking you will manage to express your opinion without pissing off someone close to you? Doesn't quite work out, does it? Some people plow through and feelings be damned in the name of self-expression. I am just not that kind of person.

I drafted a blog on a topic and realized that where I was headed would likely end up pissing off a few people I know, so I have saved it as a draft and don't plan on posting it. I dislike censoring myself, but this blog is out there on the internet. Simultaneously, I don't know who's reading it, and I know who's reading it.

Blogs often seem like diaries, that you're the only one who cares or pays attention. I'm trying not to fall into that trap though, which ultimately leads me to fewer posts. Unfortunate, but necessary. The issue is very minor, and just not worth it.

Early morning

2010-05-17T08:56:00.001-03:00

I set the alarm for 6:30am, got up around 6:45, and left the house around 7:35. I arrived at work at approximately 7:55. Normally it takes me around 10 minutes to get to work, so my travel time has now doubled due to the construction on the Harbour Bridge. Today's traffic was likely exacerbated by those who didn't realize the bridge was starting construction today (they apparently live under rocks, as it has been discussed throughout the city). Tomorrow I anticipate pretty much the same, only with the other bridge being more full of people who think it will be faster. I don't see much relief coming until the end of June, when the school year is finished.

This will be my life for the next 5 1/2 months, as the major construction on the bridge continues. The target date for finishing is Oct 31, but I believe that solely depends on our weather. If we have another rainy summer, this mess will likely drag on into November.

Even though it seems to fit better with my sleep patterns, I don't enjoy getting up that early for the purpose of getting to work on time. Granted, my usual start time is 8:30, so I didn't have to be up quite as early as I was today. If I was getting up early for some other fun purpose, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But since I was here early, I started work early. No matter what time I come in, I'm here until 5pm anyway (this seems like an exaggeration, but is actually true. I've tried leaving early before, and something always happens to prevent me from leaving before 5pm). So, I just increased my work day and lessened my own spare time. Not exactly thrilled at this idea. It may translate into longer lunches instead. I debated sitting in my car and reading for a half hour, but didn't do it. If I sat in my office and read, someone would inevitably come in and ask me a work-related question, despite the book on my lap.

If I'm going to be stuck in traffic, I just wish it was a more glamorous location. I'd rather be stuck on the 405.

The only bonus to being here this early: I got my parking spot. Barely, as they were already filled up to immediately beside my spot. I would have been pissed to get here this early and still be unable to park in front of my window.

Tombstone Trashing

2010-04-27T17:00:00.003-03:00

The cemetery where my maternal grandparents are buried was vandalized last weekend. Thankfully their gravestone escaped the chaos, but I have not heard the fate of my uncle's. This is the latest in many vandalism incidents at this cemetery, and I think it's the most damaging.

The blame for these types of incidents usually goes to teenagers who are bored? evil? stupid? We don't know who vandalized the cemetery, but in some ways it doesn't matter. How anyone could do this to the final resting place of the dead is beyond me. I can't even find the appropriate words.

The Christian way is to forgive those who have done wrong, but I am finding it extremely difficult to be Christian in this situation. How can you do this? What point does it prove? Have any of these people offended you during their lives? I doubt it, given the mass destruction done to stones of every age. Even if an offense had taken place, this is no place or time for revenge.

I can only hope that when you get older, and someone does this to the stone of someone you loved, you'll realize how awful it feels. Maybe you haven't experienced death yet. It comes to everyone.

My spot

2010-04-27T12:50:00.000-03:00

I fully admit to being obsessive-compulsive. I know I have a slight problem. So this blog is mainly just for my own venting purposes.

A while ago, while I was at work on a holiday, some kids came by, got on the ground and looked under my car. Since this isn't the greatest of neighborhoods, I wasn't sure what they were up to, but I was betting it wasn't good. They were young enough to be scared off by my pressing of the car panic button. My car was fine.

Since this incident, I have tried as much as possible to park immediately outside my office window, in what I have [in]appropriately labeled "my spot". Sometimes I will move my car when I see it has become free. My feelings have been exacerbated by the multitude of skateboarders who use our parking lot after 4:30, when I'm still here. Then I *really* want my car within view, so I can make sure it isn't getting hurt.

There is a Dodge Neon in our parking lot, owned by a woman who works at the company upstairs, which tends to be parked in a particular spot for the week. I assume she must take a company vehicle and travel for her job. She picks a random spot and parks there, leaving her car until late Friday. Yesterday, though it was a nice day and I should have gone for a walk at lunch, I had to leave my spot to go uptown. When I came back, the Neon was in it. Crap. There goes the opportunity to have my spot for the rest of this week.

This woman has done nothing wrong, it's not really "mine" nor reserved. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. It just grates on me that someone leaves their car in my spot for a whole week. I wish she'd pick *any* other spot, including one of the reserved spots for their company. I assume they leave those spots for executives. Granted she does drive a Neon, so I guess she doesn't care what happens to her car if it sits here overnight for days. I'd never leave my car in this parking lot overnight. Too many hooligans around. There are worse neighborhoods, to be sure, but this one still isn't great when it comes to vandalism at night. We have video surveillance, but if it is monitored, they don't ever seem to do anything about it security-wise. At least not that I have witnessed, since we still have a skateboarder problem.

Side note to the skateboarders: we built you a skate park. Go there. Stay away from my car.

So I'm just annoyed that I can't have "my spot" this week. Nothing I can do, I certainly can't go on a campaign to get my own reserved spot... that's about as likely as getting extra vacation time on my 10 year anniversary. I won't get 4 weeks of vacation until I'm here 20 years. Even then I still wouldn't get my own parking spot.

Winter clothes in summer, again

2010-04-15T12:33:00.000-03:00

We’re entering into another summer season, which, in most parts of North America, can get quite hot. In my part of North America, it rarely goes above 25°C (77°F) because my city is on the water. I feel comfortable wearing shorts for maybe 2-3 weeks/year. I am a person who is always cold, I am also thin and don’t have as much body fat as other people.

In my office, our thermostats are networked. Despite having my own office, I don’t have much control over what the desired temperature should be. When we first moved in, the thermostat was capped at a maximum of 74°F (23°C). Then the cap moved to 73°F (22°C) and stayed at that level for quite a while. Today, I noticed that the cap has again been moved and is now at 71°F (21°C). This is happening due to the complaints of a couple of people, who are higher in rank than me, one of whom is constantly too hot. The placement of the building is such that on a sunny day, my side of the office becomes “superheated” and can reach temps up to 78-79°F (25-26°C). I am quite comfortable on those days, and on the off chance that I find it too warm, I remove the sweater I am usually wearing. The other side of the office is tolerable on a sunny day, and freezing on a cloudy day. Thankfully I do not work on that side of the building. Another co-worker has an office on the cold side of the building, and is constantly freezing.

What I find frustrating, other than not being able to control the individual temperature of my office, is that a good portion of the problem could be solved if the too-hot person swapped offices with the too-cold person. I have even suggested this as an option to both people, as it would keep the too-hot person from turning all the office thermostats down and making it colder for everyone. Office politics are involved in this, though, and thus no swap has ever occurred. I’m curious when the straw will break the camel’s back and the office swap may take precedence over other issues. Since the too-hot person is the boss of the too-cold person, this is a realistic option.

In the meantime, I’m usually ok if it is sunny for the morning, and my office gets heated naturally. On a semi-cloudy or overcast day, such as today, I’m now stuck somewhere in the 71°F range. I’m already wearing a sweater, debating a blanket for my legs, and have changed from shoes to sneakers because my feet are cold. I am also debating bringing in slippers to keep my feet warm, and possibly a bathrobe, since our landlord forbids space heaters as a potential fire hazard. It would look pretty silly, but it would get a point across.

I recently put away my winter pants and should move my winter sweaters to the basement. Now I’m not so sure that I should do it, from a comfort perspective. If I want to be warm enough, I may have to keep my winter clothes on during the summer, but that will likely make me feel even colder come winter.

I stopped into a clothing store the other day and saw some nice clothes, though they would be useless for me in this climate. Thin linen shirts are pretty much only good for vacations. How about something that is both summery and built for a cold office? I guess that’s never going to happen.

No breasts at all, thanks

2010-04-13T12:48:00.000-03:00

A friend of mine joined a group on Facebook to protest the fact that Facebook treats pictures of breast feeding in the category "obscene":

In North America, however, and some other parts of the “developed” world...we seem to have forgotten this very simple truth. Womens' breasts have become a symbol of sex. They are used to sell everything from cars to clothes to beer....they have been deemed obscene, sexually explicit and indecent for view by Facebook. Ironic, isn't it? that in the context of sex, we are inundated with images everywhere we look of womens' breasts as commodity, but see practically no examples of them shown in the normal context of breastfeeding. Why is is?[sic]
...
When corporations and social groups (like Facebook) create and uphold policies that label breastfeeding as obscene or objectionable, the myths that breastfeeding is private, socially inappropriate or sexually explicit are perpetuated and this has a detrimental effect on societal perception and attitudes surrounding breastfeeding. This in turn has a detrimental impact on breastfeeding initiation and duration rates and stigmatizes and demeans women who are doing nothing wrong. This group is one small step in the effort to normalize breastfeeding and to break down barriers that make it more difficult for women to do so. Thank you for your support.

I agree that breastfeeding is natural. If you're a mother, make the choice and breastfeed if you like. Here's the problem: where do your rights end and mine begin? As a straight woman, I have absolutely no interest in seeing the breasts of other women, whether it be in a sexual or natural context. I simply do not want to be walking down the street and seeing a breast, in an advertisement or a mother breastfeeding her child. Breast feeding zealots have determined, however, that their rights are more important than mine, and thus they can do whatever they please, wherever they please.

If I were to have children and chose to breastfeed, I would not want to expose my breasts in public while feeding. Even though I think the process natural, how do I know the guy next to me in the food court isn't a pervert who enjoys every minute? I would make the choice to do it in private because *I* would feel more comfortable. I would not want others staring at me, seeing my private body parts. I'm a private person, I just don't want to expose myself in that way.

The most significant question I have for this Facebook group is: why are women posting breastfeeding pictures in the first place? Is it purely an exercise in normalization? Or do some women enjoy showing the world that they are breastfeeding their baby?

I am not a mother. I do not have the personal experience to back up my opinions on breastfeeding. What I do know is that it is not as easy as this group purports it to be. I have heard the stories of friends and family who have struggled so hard to make breastfeeding work for them, and it ended up with both mother and baby being miserable. Frankly, this group sounds like the bullying nurses in hospitals who think it's a capital offense to feed a baby formula. Though it has been scientifically proven that breast milk is best for babies, it does not factor in the baby not able to eat breast milk, not sleeping, incessant fussing, miserable mother who can't get any sleep.

We live in a world where there are options, where we know more about things like lactose intolerance. Having a baby is supposed to be one of the greatest experiences in one's life, but only if you are breastfeeding, apparently. Not every baby is as accepting of the "natural way". I doubt that this is a new problem, only that we now have more options.

In summary:
You have a right to choose breastfeeding, but I have a right not to see your breast in a public place.
I also have the right to choose how I want to feed my baby without you forcing a method down my throat, and trying to guilt me into the "right" choice.
I have the right to choose privacy when feeding my baby without feeling guilty for promoting the "natural way".

Ontario Rx drugs

2010-04-13T10:40:00.000-03:00

This had better not mean closing stores in the Maritimes to combat the costs.

Rx drugs must be dirt cheap to produce. Forget being a doctor or a lawyer or even winning the lotto. Run a drug company.

The inherent problem with drug companies is that they are for-profit organizations. Morally, how can you charge so much for something that may determine life or death for another person? How did we let drug companies get so strong and powerful that they can determine life or death? It's not fair, but fair is a place you go to get on rides.

NB keeps going down the tubes

2010-03-25T13:45:00.003-03:00

The proposed deal to sell NB Power to Hydro Quebec is now dead. To the vocal people who were against the sale, I have one thing to say: It's your turn to come up with something to help us, and I hope you have a better idea.

Few people truly understood how the deal actually worked, and I'm not one of them. But the overreaction by many NBers to this sale left me with a continued feeling of being trapped in a place that denies change at any turn (ironically, since I dislike and fight change regularly). We're now left with a struggling utility that was in bad shape to start, a nuclear power plant that is currently being refitted and is so behind schedule that it is costing us $1M per day to source extra power, and other old-school power sources (such as coal) that not only use limited resources but are harmful to the environment. We're screwed. Really, really screwed.

The idea was right: we needed help. NB Power made up a huge portion of our debt. The problem was that we overvalued what we had, and the politicians didn't anticipate it being such a hot-bed topic. Even though the deal is dead, it will likely result in the current government getting the boot come September. That is unfortunate. They didn't do enough public consultation, but I truly don't think it's enough of a reason to kick them out of power. In the previous election, we kicked the Tories out of power because they pissed us off, so we're basically just a bunch of flip-flopping voters in this province. We react to whatever the latest news is, rather than examining the work done over the past term and also examining what the other major political party has to offer (not much, and we already have enough Tories and Tory policy in Ottawa). I've had performance evaluations done the same way: well, last month you screwed this one item up, so we're docking you on this evaluation. We'll neglect to mention all of the good jobs you've done, because the screw-up was the most recent.

Overall I wasn't comfortable with the idea of our power system or assets being sold to Quebec. As an English Canadian, I am born with a skepticism about Quebec and their separatist tendencies every few decades. It is also my belief that the buyer of something like this would be getting the better deal: Jean Charest is a smart guy. I wasn't totally ok with it, but I didn't have a better idea. NB needed something to help eliminate our crushing debt. The idea was a step in the right direction, at least.

Power rates will go up: that is a given now. Someone has to pay for maintenance to our system, and service NB Power's debt. SJ itself is already in a lot of trouble. We're already paying the highest property taxes in the province, and yet our municipality is still considering cutting services and making us pay user fees for garbage pickup. SJ's roads are crumbling because we never take a preventative maintenance stance on infrastructure. Our water pipes are, in some cases, 100 year old wooden pipes. The water coming out of it is so green that it is akin to a swimming pool. Our dreams of being an "energy hub" are pretty much down the toilet, with the cancellation of the 2nd oil refinery, Irving Oil world headquarters' new building, and (IMO) an announcement soon on the cancellation of plans for a 2nd nuclear reactor. All I am left with are higher taxes, crappy services, and over-inflated property values from all of the "great things" that were happening. I am rapidly running out of reasons why this is a good place to live. If it weren't for my family and friends, I would probably be living in SoCal... enduring brown-outs and getting an IOU on my tax refund from the state.

Hope to hear from the naysayers soon on their better idea for eliminating debt. These are the same people who will complain the loudest when our power rates increase, mark my words.

Programming circles

2010-03-19T14:21:00.003-03:00

I logged in to a supplier's website for work and saw this note:

Action Required ALL [website] Users:

Please review this link with the [website name] Changes and training NOW to prepare yourself for the changes.

I clicked on the link, got kicked out, and saw this message:

Please login to [website name]
You are not authorized to perform this operation.
This is NOT a password problem.

Hmmm, well, then what kind of problem is it? Guess I won't be training on the new changes anytime soon if I'm not authorized. Funny, seeing as how I'm an administrator.

The Situational Martyr

2010-03-15T11:11:00.001-03:00

I've run across this situation at least 3 times in the last few months. You're having or reading a discussion on a topic, and it is suddenly interrupted by The Situational Martyr.

For instance, I was reading a blog about real vs fake mashed potatoes, initiated by the blogger who paid $25 for a meal at a restaurant only to receive fake mashed potatoes. People were discussing their likes and dislikes, when along came The Situational Martyr. "You can have the luxury of complaining about taste when your belly is full. Everything tastes good when your belly is empty." "You are lucky that you can afford to pay $25.00 for a plate of food."

Thanks, Situational Martyr! I never would have thought about all the hungry people in the world without you there to remind me. It's great that you're so much better than I am, and you're able to attempt to make me feel guilty for affording food. Way to go!

The Situational Martyr also struck recently on my husband's blog. By discussing an issue, it's amazing how the Situational Martyr can swoop in and instantly make you feel small and worthless... if you let him.

The third instance dealt with a friend's Facebook status and I believe the issue was Haiti. Though my memory is fuzzy, I believe The Situational Martyr stepped in to remind us that we should be glad to have a roof over our heads. Again, thanks Situational Martyr! I am never thankful or grateful for what I have, so I count on you to remind me that I'm a pathetic 1st-world greedy slob.

In two of the three cases, The Situational Martyr has chosen to remain anonymous. This is a bullshit cop-out. If you feel this way, why won't you attach your name to it? Does it mean you're embarrassed by your own martyrdom? That can't be possible. The Situational Martyr is too full of himself not to make known his true identity. Another case of the internet creating anonymity so that you don't have to own your feelings and can facelessly hurt others.

I'm confused as to why people can't have a simple discussion about mashed potatoes without being party-crashed by The Situational Martyr. So the blogger wants to discuss potatoes, but you feel the need to make every respondent feel petty and worthless with your reminder that we're lucky to have food? I dare say that this type of response actually makes you worse than those who frivolously discuss potatoes.

What do you do to give thanks, Situational Martyr? Do you never take anything for granted? At minimum, on a weekly basis I consciously pray and give thanks for all that I have in life. I'd be surprised if most people, including you, do this on a regular basis. I'm sick of people like you who try and make yourself look better by putting others down. If I haven't done enough in my life to help the imbalance between rich and poor, then it's up to God to judge me for that, not you.

Florida recap

2010-03-15T09:43:00.000-03:00

Overall we had a very good trip to Florida. It was filled only with things we wanted to do, we slept until we woke up naturally, and had lots of time on our hands. I probably would have felt quite rested if it weren't for the sore throat that started on our last day there. I think I'm finally almost over it.

It was cold and windy most of the time we were there. Coldest March Break trip to Florida I've ever had. I wore shorts for a couple of hours one day, that was it; more for posterity than anything else. Temps were in the teens, barely reaching 20°C range. It has been that way in Florida this season, hopefully next year will be better.

The weather limited our activities a bit. I had planned on sitting outside for meals, by the pool reading, or if it was quite hot, I'd even venture to cool myself in the water. Instead, we ended up inside watching TV or movies or reading, which is primarily what we do at home. In that respect, Florida wasn't the best place to go to warm up, but when we booked the trip, we didn't know the temps would be below seasonal.

We got to eat at our favourite places: Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, Dennys, Krispy Kreme, Quiznos. We didn't make it to IHOP because John assuaged his pancake desires at Dennys. Breakfast at restaurants is expensive. Other than Krispy Kreme and Dennys, we mostly ate breakfast at home. Some days we had a large lunch and just some leftovers for dinner. I miss having everything so close by, like SoCal.

Arriving around midnight was actually not that bad of an idea. We were tired, but there was no traffic on the roads and we were able to fumble around with directions and wrong lanes without wreaking havoc. It had been 5 years since I was last there, and a lot of roads and routes have changed, so parts were new to me. I actually feel like I know my way around Orange County better than Florida, but this trip was a good Florida refresher.

Our first morning included a trip to Dennys, where we tried the new pancake appetizers. They're like round donut holes fried until crispy and you dip them in syrup. Tasty, but you really need a side plate because otherwise the dripping syrup creates a mess. After Dennys, we discussed what to do next. John suggested SeaWorld, but I didn't feel that going from noon onward was a decent use of the expensive ticket, we really needed a full day to get our money's worth. We stopped at Target for some grocery shopping, and then headed back to the house. We turned on the TV to find out there had been a whale attack on a trainer at SeaWorld. It made national news, and stories as to what happened were conflicting. Glad we weren't there that day after all.

John humored me with lots of shopping time. Most days he was fine, but he was having bad arthritis the day we went to the mall, so I had to cut things short. We decided the next day that he'd bring a book and sit in the car if he got too sore/tired, but it was a better arthritis day and I didn't have as many places to hit at the outlet mall.

We stayed at my Dad's rental house, so it was pretty much like having all the comforts of home. The only exception to that was the lack of TiVo, which you really miss when you don't have it. It probably wouldn't have been missed so badly if the weather had been nicer and we were out and about instead of inside watching TV/Olympics. The TVs were better than home, Dad recently replaced the existing units with new LCDs. That gave us a good test of the Vizio brand. Granted, most LCDs will look better than a CRT these days.

I found a sale online and bought us tickets for Medieval Times. That was an attraction I had driven past plenty of times, but never actually stopped and went in. We enjoyed our time there, the show was entertaining, but the people in our section didn't seem to want to cheer on our knight. We were frequently the loudest people in the red section, and we're not very loud to begin with. I think this is an event where you need to go with a group of friends, and a time when loud, drunk friends come in handy. ;) Because it is emulating a time without cutlery, you're supposed to eat everything with your hands. I had no problem with this rule, but the people beside me brought their own cutlery... lame. So my hands got dirty, big deal. I actually liked drinking my soup. I'd definitely go again, but next time I would prefer to take friends with us.

If we are fortunate enough to go again next year, I hope the weather will be warmer.

Woken by Thunder

2010-02-24T15:07:00.002-04:00

I'm in Florida. I was awoken by thunder, not something I hear regularly where I'm from. Looking forward to a week of not wearing my winter coat & boots.

I'm in a phase of not updating my facebook status. Not sure how long it will last, but right now I don't feel like rubbing in everyone's face that I'm on vacation somewhere sunny & warm (no offense to those who do). Sometimes I get in these moods where I want people to actually seek me out rather than have my doings appear in front of them. If I was counting, that plan isn't working out so well thus far.

Saturday night we're headed to Medieval Times, which I've driven past plenty of times but never actually been to. [Wow, raining pretty hard out.] Other than that, we don't have a lot specifically planned. I have lots of places I'd like to go shopping, and I'm also quite content to sit & read. John has expressed an interest at "seeing" DisneyWorld, but I'm not sure if we'll actually enter a park. Downtown Disney is free access and lots of shopping/restaurants, maybe we'll hit that. The vacation world is our oyster.

This is the first vacation I've had in a long time that wasn't attached to a work meeting. Though I did answer a few work emails in the airport last night, I plan on actually being on vacation. I do need and will enjoy a break from work. I need to recharge.

Food reviews

2010-02-12T20:27:00.004-04:00

My husband mentioned the new Milky Way Caramel bar, and I went on a hunt for some images and/or product info. I stumbled upon a blogger who does food reviews, and I found her site really interesting. Check it out if you have a chance. Lots of pics and honest opinions, which I like.

Gigi's review of the In N Out Double Double really reminds me of how much I miss In N Out :(

Medical advancements?

2010-02-08T10:10:00.001-04:00

As I sat in my doctor's office and my local hospital, it struck me how manual these operations still are.

In my doctor's office, the only computer to be seen is on the receptionist's desk. If there is one in the doctor's office, I wouldn't know, as she doesn't normally take patients in there. She wrote me a manual order for urine testing, on a pad of pre-printed forms on which she can also request blood work. She also wrote me a couple of prescriptions, mostly legible compared to a lot of doctors (though I still can't make out some of her writing). My doctor writes her comments and notes on loose leaf in my chart. From what I can tell, my chart is just a pile of notes and reports that aren't really organized in any fashion other than chronologically, in that the most recent test result is likely on top. The real kicker is the fact that she waits for snail mail for test results, which usually takes 2 weeks from the lab to my doctor's desk. If it was an emergency, she may call the hospital for a verbal report.

I stopped by one of my local hospitals to drop off my urine sample. I pressed the button on the ticket machine to get a thermal-printed number, and waited for my turn to sit at a desk (some desks are not private) and my number to appear on a digital display. I answered a bunch of questions for the registration process (where I'm going, what for, who ordered the tests, and verified my contact info was still accurate). Then I proceed over to specimen collection to obtain labels for my urine samples. The clerk took my paper order from my doctor, entered some info, checked that I had registered in the lobby, and printed laser labels for me to attach to the bottles. I dropped the samples in a Rubbermaid bin which sits out in front of the counter, free for anyone to contaminate.

On a previous visit to one of the two hospitals in my city, I was really surprised to find that their computer information systems are not linked. I have a provincially-issued Medicare number, which I thought meant that there was a central database of my information that could be accessed by any hospital in the province (wrong!) or at the very least, hospitals in my immediate region (still wrong!). What I discovered was that each hospital has its own information store on me... I still can't believe that is true in 2010.

The hospitals in my region recently switched to an "appointment-only" system for bloodwork. We do not have privately-run blood labs like my husband had in SoCal; all bloodwork must be done at a hospital or designated satellite location. Under the new system, you must call for an appointment at a specific location. While waiting for my urine sample labels, I noticed that the appointment system is a series of large binders full of paper forms, with appointments written in pencil. Seriously. One binder for each hospital/satellite location and one person answering the phone, penciling in appointments.

That day's visit to the hospital yielded some more puzzling administrative questions. This hospital is very large, and serves our city as well as our region. In some cases, people are transferred here from other parts of the province for specialized care. While I do agree that finding your way around can be challenging if you are new, I am not sure this is the best way to handle things.

Wayfinding kiosks?!?! My heart goes out to the senior citizens, who simply want to ask a real human being where the x-ray department is. Do you get the feeling that soon, there will be reduced hours for the human at the info desk, and possibly its elimination?

In my mind, I visualize something so totally different than what we currently have:

I would be able to make a doctor's appointment for a non-emergency issue that would be sooner than 6 weeks away. When I go to my doctor's office, she would have a PC in every exam room. On this PC, she could call up my chart, search for similar complaints, perhaps cross-reference my symptoms. She could call up test results from a centralized database which is shared among the medical community for the province. In this database, test results would be summarized with a flag for "follow-up needed" so that those results could be addressed first. If she needs me to go get bloodwork or drop off a urine sample, she would ask me which hospital I'd prefer to use, and then submit a request with all of the appropriate tests. This request would reside in the database, and would be accessed by the specimen collection desk at the hospital. I would go straight to the specimen collection desk (why would I need to register for a sample drop-off?), they'd pull up my doctor's request and pertinent info, and away I go.

If I needed to register at the hospital, kiosks would be available for non-complex registrations. I would walk up to one, swipe my medicare card, reconfirm my info, specify where I was going, etc. This is one area where I think human interaction isn't necessarily needed, especially for patients who make frequent/routine visits to clinics or labs. This is where I think spending money on kiosks would actually do some good. I am, however, a strong believer in having humans available to help those who do not want to use a kiosk system. You shouldn't force technology on those who are timid, just because you think it is easy. You also shouldn't cause a giant bottleneck by not using technology.

For prescriptions, my doctor would have completed a request via the PC in the exam room, asking at the time which pharmacy I would like to use. I assume here that the system is simple enough for the doctor to click options and hit send faster than writing everything out on a pad of paper, and linked with the existing notes she is making on my electronic chart anyway (as she's charting the Rx, it also creates the Rx). If the doctor does not have enough time, it could be a two-step process. The doctor fills out the Rx portion and approves using a PIN/password. The receptionist could then fill out the pharmacy and do the actual transmission. There would also be a box for "fill now" or "fill later", so that when I went to the pharmacy, the Rx was ready for pickup (or on file for later).

Bloodwork appointments should be available to request online. I would log in to a secure site, do a lookup for what is available, and compare different locations for availability. I could take a moment to compare that to my personal calendar, instead of making someone on the other end of the phone wait while I make sure I'm available at the time they give me, as opposed to the time I choose.

Most of what I see in the medical profession is done with the attitude that the profession's time is more valuable than the patient. I think it's time to prioritize the patient's time for a change, and let me get through my medical processes a bit faster. I may still have to wait a while for an x-ray or a CAT scan, but life would be a lot simpler if I could drop off a urine sample in less than an hour.

Brangelina: just another Average Joe couple

2010-01-27T08:10:00.002-04:00

The whole media-invented triangle of Brad-Jen-Angelina has been going on for 5 years now. Hard to believe it’s 5 years later and we’re still getting tabloid stories of how Jen is lonely and Angelina and Jen fighting, etc. Now there are swirling rumors that Brad and Angelina are breaking up because they haven’t appeared together at recent awards shows and are not scheduled to appear at the Oscars this year.

We really don’t know these people from a hole in the wall. All we know is what we are told by entertainment media, who will tell us anything as long as we keep reading/watching. Let’s liken this situation down to an Average Joe level.

Guy leaves his wife for another woman. This happens so often in real life that it has almost become the norm. Most people would expect the parties to have moved on by now. Why can magazines still be sold that purport “fights” between these two women? Why does anyone care? There have been plenty of instances of this situation in Hollywood before, but none have kept hanging on this long. How many years will it take before we stop reading these stories? I guess it doesn’t help that, according to the media, Jen hasn’t really had a new marriage-worthy relationship since Brad left. I can’t help but wonder, if Brad and Angelina do break up, and after the inevitable “Brad goes running back to Jen” stories, if we’ll finally be treated to not having to read about the faux triangle anymore.

[Sidebar: Or, another thought: is one of the three parties so desperate for media attention that they feed little tidbits to the magazines to keep them printing stories? My money’s on Jen, but that’s probably because I don’t care for her public image anyway. I think she’s a run of the mill actress who isn’t as gorgeous as I keep being told she is.]

As far as this supposed breakup goes, I’m confused on why not making appearances together constitutes a breakup. They are possibly the biggest celebrity couple going right now. They can never escape the camera, but don’t you think they’d like to sometimes? Do we think Angelina likes taking hours to get ready for an awards show over & over again? If she’s like any other typical American, she likes some time lounging in sweatpants and t-shirts (she just can’t do that in public as that would be image-ruining). According to the media, this is a couple who do a lot for various charitable causes. Angelina for the UN, Brad for New Orleans, etc. They have a charitable foundation. They have stated they would not marry until gay marriage was legal. If they have these strong actions and beliefs, wouldn’t it make sense that they think award shows are fluff and meaningless? I doubt their hearts are breaking that they can’t appear. Stars appear at these shows because they need to promote themselves. I can’t think of two people who need promotion less than they do. Neither have a movie out right now that is in dire need of promotion, and I don’t think Brad’s in the running for any nominations, despite the moderate success of Inglorious Basterds.

All this being said, there can only be so many rumors before we find out it's actually true. Given her previous comments about never wanting to be "the other woman" after what her parents went through, I'm surprised it lasted this long.

Addendum: in the same vein, E! discusses this in Conspiracy Corner.

Punishment for keeping things safe

2010-01-25T12:25:00.001-04:00

Regarding this incident.

I applaud the state trooper for chasing a criminal across the border. I think a suspension was too harsh when the guy she was chasing was a potential DUI. So he gets to run the border and she has to just stop and let him go? That doesn't sound reasonable.

Did she have the jurisdiction to arrest him after crossing the border? No. I think she should have been allowed to chase him, radio for Canadian help, and detain him until Canadian help arrived and gave him a breathalyzer. Then the Mounties could have thrown his ass in jail and/or deported him back to the US. I don't care what kind of "situation" happened to a relative, that doesn't give you the right to run from the police. If you don't want to deal with the police, don't do stuff that makes them want to come after you. Dumbass!!!

This is a case of laws and rules not equating with common sense. I agree with one of the comments, I hope the penalty for not stopping at the border crossing was more harsh than a DUI. With the way the legal system works, it probably is.

Unknown ailment

2010-01-22T12:41:00.000-04:00

After returning home in September, I developed what I thought was an allergy. Every day since then, I have woken up with congestion, sneezing, nose-blowing, and slightly crappy feeling. Some days are worse than others, a few days have required an Advil cold & sinus tablet, but most days I have just put up with it and went on with my day. It's been frustrating, but I wasn't sure I wanted to go through allergy testing. At first, I thought I was getting a cold, but then it just kept going without really getting any worse.

Yesterday it got worse. I was coughing, the runny nose just didn't stop, and I felt worse than usual. I talked to my mother, and she suggested that I could have a sinus infection going on. Since it is not high allergy season, it wasn't as likely to be an allergy, and that it could be feasible for a sinus infection to hang around since September. She suggests it could also be a sinus infection caught from being on an airplane, and this started right after I flew home from SoCal.

I managed to sneak in on a cancellation with my doctor this coming Monday afternoon. We'll see what she has to say. I will probably have to go in diagnosing myself, and she will probably berate me for not bringing it to her attention sooner as I have been in to see her since it began. Of course, she will berate me quickly without letting me get a word in edgewise, and then throw drugs at me with the hope that it will fix the issue. Always such a fun experience going to my GP.

Today I'm feeling better than yesterday, but it could just be the meds helping me out. It could have turned into a cold now, but I can't tell because half of my symptoms have been there for months. My throat is a bit wonky, but not the usual sore throat at start of cold that I tend to get. I dunno. I just want to not wake up miserably sneezing and nose-blowing every day anymore.

Yes Virgina, train tracks ARE still dangerous in 2010

2010-01-20T14:05:00.003-04:00

This article made me very angry at lunch today. It should be entitled "I'm too stupid to not realize that stopping on railroad tracks is potentially dangerous".

I've gone through that area many times. I do not sit on the tracks, as I am aware that at any moment, the warning may come on and a train may be coming by. I've seen many people ignore the tracks though, and sit on them [seemingly] without a care.

If you're dumb enough to sit your car there while you wait to get to Retail Land, then it should be a case of natural selection doing its duty.

Facebook color status = LAME

2010-01-08T11:31:00.001-04:00

This is lame. Here's why:

1) No explanation of what's going on. How can you raise awareness when no one knows what's going on? Usually these FB things say to copy & paste something to your status. Yes, the mystery does make it go viral faster, I will grant that, but...
2) Simply posting a color doesn't do ANYTHING to raise awareness for a cause.
3) It's called UNDERwear for a reason. The only person I want knowing the color of my skivvies is my husband. I'm bashful that way.

If you want to raise awareness for Breast Cancer, make it clear what you're posting and why. Otherwise, donate time or money and accomplish something that will actually help someone.

Of course, by posting this blog, I have just made you aware of Breast Cancer. I can't even complain without somehow helping their lame premise.

Possible church closures

2010-01-08T08:00:00.001-04:00

Regarding this article.

I hate to see this happen, but there is no doubt that church closures will have to happen in my home province. Priest enrollments are down, people are dissatisfied with the ways of the Catholic church, and fewer people are attending services. Everyone has the right to choose if or how they worship. It seems as though a lot of people just don't care about church or religion, and that is their choice.

What bothers me are those who seem to make it a seasonal event. If you go at Christmas, Easter, and insist that your wedding or funeral be held at a particular church, why aren't you there the rest of the time? Is it truly *that* hard to attend weekly, or even monthly? I'm not even talking from a totally religious perspective -- churches need money. If you want this building, this institution, to remain available for you, then you need to contribute more than a few times/year. I am not trying to single anyone out in particular. I am just concerned by the seeming indifference by some people that the church will always be there when they need it. I have heard stories of demanding brides and families over weddings and funerals. Some act as though the church and priest must bend over backward to appease their every whim. The priest is going to be much more accommodating to a parishioner with whom he is familiar, and who contributes to the community, whether it be financially or volunteer activity, etc.

The Catholic church is rich. My local church is not. Are we suddenly going to see the Vatican sell off its riches and dole the proceeds out to the local communities? Not likely. Therefore, it's up to the parishioners of a church to contribute time/money/etc. to keep their church alive, both spiritually and structurally. My church recently asked its members for an additional $2/week to help cover a new rent payment we must make for our rectory/office space. Do I sit back and whine about how much gold is at the Vatican? I can, but that doesn't solve the problem.

I can see the writing on the wall when it comes to possible closures. We have had at least two bishops over recent history who have done nothing to address the problem. We simply have too many buildings compared to demand, and demand doesn't appear to be increasing anytime soon. It makes financial sense that some buildings will have to be shut down and combined with others.

My church is one that I would assume to be on the chopping block. It was built in the 1880s, and requires a lot of maintenance that we can't afford. We're not currently making our operating budget. In this area of the city, there is another church that is only 50 years old, and large enough to accommodate both congregations. There is a third church, the smallest of the three, that remains open despite having a very small congregation. Realistically, we can only support one church in this area, not three, but no one has been brave enough to take action. I would hate to see my church go. I am attached to the building, the organ, the feel. I know it makes sense that we should all go to the newer church and close the other two, but it's a hard pill to swallow.

The harsh reality is that people are moving away from the church/organized religion. We can't keep ignoring it, we have to do something to stem the monetary bleeding. I hope my financial and volunteer contributions can help my church stay afloat and open for people. If you want to keep the doors open too, you need to help more than a few times per year.

Refillable, but how?

2010-01-07T15:07:00.000-04:00

I have always been a fan of Staedtler Lumocolor markers. I have full sets of 8 colors of both permanent and non-permanent markers, at home and at work. They are high-quality products that perform well and last for quite a while. Nothing, however, lasts forever. Upon discovering that one of my sets has dried up, I set about researching how to take advantage of the "refillable" option that is stamped on the side of the markers.

The refill option looks very neat and convenient. You stick the marker in a base, and it sucks up the new ink until it's full, then stops. Sounds cool. There's nothing wrong with my markers, other than being dry, so this seems like the way to go... except for a couple of caveats. Despite all 8 colors stating they are refillable, the company only lists 4 colors of refill tanks available. When I researched the price of the refill tanks, I was shocked to see that they are approximately $15 per color. A new set of markers, under corporate pricing, was only $12. Since I do not go through markers that quickly, nor does anyone else in my office use these, buying the refill tanks for only 4 of the colors doesn't make any financial sense.

What frustrates me is that Staedtler seems to be promoting an environmental angle on their website with their "efficient for ecology" tagline and program. They promote the refill option, but don't offer it for all colors of the same product. If it is cost-prohibitive for an occasional user to refill rather than re-purchase, how is that ecologically friendly?

If I had an office full of co-workers who all used these markers, the cost of the refill station could be spread among many people and would end up being cheaper overall. For a single user, it is cheaper to throw out the old and buy new. Why do they not have a single-refill option, perhaps not quite as slick, so that us Average Joes could benefit and do something more environmentally-friendly?

Thoughts on 2009 and 2010

2010-01-05T12:23:00.002-04:00

Since coming home from California in September, I have developed an allergy. I wake up every morning congested and sneezing until it clears out. Today, not so bad. Yesterday, so bad I had to take meds. I'm not sure what the trigger is. I don't even know if it is worth getting tested.

I let our bedroom get so dusty that the dark wood furniture was literally white. Although my congestion issue is due to allergies, I was secretly hoping it had to do with the immense amount of dust buildup.

We got a cat this year. Romy has been a good addition to our house, and I like having him around. He isn't the cat I thought he would be, though. I wanted more of a cuddly cat, whereas Romy likes to keep his distance. He also prefers John to me lately. I tried for many minutes to coax him up on the bed so I could pet him, whereas he prefers that I bend over and pet him while he's on the floor. I eventually gave up and went back to my morning routine. John wakes up, calls for him once, and he immediately gets up and leaps to the bed to go and see John. We both expected for John to be the one who was preferred, since he's a cat person and the one who is home all day. It just seems like the preference has gotten stronger recently, and I'm not sure why.

I am not going to apologize for taking a vacation.

I need to try and stop being lazy this year. I have let a lot of things go by the wayside with the excuse that I "never have time for myself", but that doesn't feel like it's cutting it anymore. At some point, I have to do things I don't like, such as cleaning our bedroom, office, and fridge. It just won't leave me with much time to do things like read or watch TV. I also can't say that I'm thrilled to do these things after working all day. Last night, I came home, scrounged some supper, made cherry bread for John to use up the litre of buttermilk, made muffins for my breakfast for the next two weeks, researched a supper idea for the next day, washed lettuce for the next day's lunch, did some laundry, took down some xmas decorations, and by the time all of that was done, it was 9:30. We watched an hour of TV, then I tended to more laundry, plastic wrapped the baking, set things out for the morning, and it was past 11. It felt good to accomplish a lot, but I also wanted to do an hour on the treadmill and read some more of my book. I need to find the balance between self-indulgence and housework, where I get to do some of each, not just all of one.

Christmas memories

2009-12-30T12:40:00.001-04:00

As it is the season, I've been thinking a lot about Christmases past. This is my first Christmas without any grandparents, and also the first Christmas without a home to visit that has been in my life for a while (my grandfather's house sold a few weeks ago). I have had many great Christmases, and a few crappy ones. Here are some memories that come to mind (in no particular order):

The year Dad gave Mum her sapphire ring. That was the most excited I have ever seen her. There are few things better than seeing your mom totally ecstatic and happy.
1986 - Santa finally brings me my own color TV. I was thrilled. I still have that TV, in my basement, and it still works.
1996 - my Dad had left the house that fall. This was the worst Christmas ever. I was working a co-op job at the time, and co-workers were walking around singing carols on our last day of work. I went to the basement office, shut the door, and cried because my family situation was so messed up and I had no idea what kind of Christmas I was in store for. The next few Christmases after that were rocky until we got adjusted to our new family structure.
The year I got my blue winter coat, which I proudly put on and posed in.
The year my younger brother snuck downstairs early to see the presents from Santa, only to be caught by my older brother, which sent my younger brother running back upstairs screaming. By 9am he was still sleeping. I didn't actually witness this, but I love the story.
The year my younger brother sat on the floor opening presents, with Nana right in the room, and he opens her present. "Clothes" he says, and whips them over his head and they almost land on Nana. My mother was mortified at the time, but it's a hilarious family story now.
The year I was threatened with a knife, and somewhat seriously. I care not to discuss this one further, but it is definitely a Christmas memory I won't forget.
My younger brother used to carefully unwrap his presents and then wrap them back up, thinking no one would be the wiser. Mum always knew.
I don't have a memory of this, but we had a year of our tree falling over, before we were finally smart enough to tie string around it as an anchor. One year it dumped water all over the presents and my older brother volunteered to re-wrap everything. Mum turned him down.
The years I have spent Christmases away from home (only 3 times, as it is quite hard to pry me away at Christmas): 1985, when we were away on "The Big Trip" and spent Christmas in Melbourne, Australia. We hung our regular socks for Santa, who brought us some foreign treats. 2003, when my mother and younger brother spent xmas with my older brother and nephew. I'll never forget the dance my nephew did as he came downstairs to see what Santa brought. 2007, when I spent Christmas in California. My husband did a wonderful job making it feel Christmasy for me. He bought a small artificial tree, put up some lights, and I brought our stockings with me.
2005, my first Christmas with John. It was his first time seeing that much snow, and he had a blast making a snowman, snow angels, and plotted building a fort. He also learned the joys of shoveling snow.
This year was Romy's first Christmas with us. I thought he would be pretty excited by the tree, bows, paper, and ribbon. Instead, he was excited by the watering can, and a PBS Nature special on Christmas in Yellowstone Park, featuring a fox that he became enthralled with watching.

Winter

2009-12-11T12:22:00.003-04:00

The feeling has hit me again the last couple of days: winter is coming. The post-Christmas season of cold, snow, wind, darkness, and loneliness. I don't have SAD, but I do get increasingly uneasy as the thought of January and February draw closer. The feeling seems to get worse every year. This year I have a husband who's home to keep a fire on, and a cute kitty cat who sometimes allows me to spend time with him, but I still have that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Heavy coats, biting wind, bundling up just to run outside and back in, falling on ice, driving through dangerous conditions... I am not looking forward to this. I also have a trip to Florida in late February/early March. I'm excited for it, but it's not quelling the feeling. I will still have to deal with winter, no matter what, unless I leave Canada. That's not in the cards for the foreseeable future.

Winter is fun for those who enjoy outdoor activities. Since my main activity is walking, that's not something I want to do outside this time of year. I guess I need to concentrate on finding fun things to do when it's cold. Last year, a co-worker and I went skating at Lily Lake on our lunch hour, that was fun. John has also been asking since last winter to go skating, so I need to find him some skates. I used to enjoy sliding, so I should probably get a couple of sleds and introduce John to that as well. He is still catching up on all of the snow-related activities he missed from growing up in a desert. Maybe if I can tap into his enthusiasm, I will get more out of the coldest months.

To quit or not to quit

2009-12-01T11:56:00.000-04:00

My husband thinks I need a new hobby. Hobbies are supposed to be fun ways to spend your time, but knitting has not turned out that way for me. I find it stressful. My biggest problem seems to be that I misread patterns. I think it’s time to face the facts: I’m just not very good at it. Since I don’t seem to be capable of liking my work despite its faults, and get so angry when I make mistakes (which are frequent), I’m not sure what’s really in it for me.

I am still a beginner. All of these projects I’m doing are the first time I’ve tried different techniques. When I knit a scarf for myself, ran out of yarn, and ended up with an abruptly cut-off side, I adjusted for that the next time I used that pattern… but then it still didn’t come out looking right. I want to be able to do something right, if not the first, I’d hope the second time.

Other than misreading patterns, I think my other big mistake is always making things for others. I put too much stress on making gifts that must be nice, instead of practicing on stuff that’s just for me. I can still be annoyed with it, but at least I haven’t given a “Charlie Brown Christmas tree” to someone I care about.

I’m giving my husband’s suggestion some consideration. After I finish the Christmas presents I’m working on, I may think about hanging up the needles, at least for a while.

Glee

2009-10-13T12:52:00.000-03:00

I am enjoying Glee on Fox, but I have one major complaint. Having been a long-time viewer of Days of our Lives in the '90s, I spent months (felt more like years) enduring the "fake pregnancy" storyline of Kristen Blake, resulting in her wearing pregnancy pads, not wanting John Black to touch her, Stefano finding another pregnant woman to impersonate her... let's just say the memories aren't good. I hope the writers of Glee don't drag this storyline out for the entire first season.

I know TV is supposed to be an escape and not realistic, but I have some serious issues with this storyline. Will and Teri are married and live together. He WILL see her naked at some point, this is inevitable, even if it's just from changing clothes. The character of Teri is annoying and unlikeable enough to start, and adding this storyline makes me want to fast forward through the sections with her in it. The fact that the school hired Teri as a nurse, without any qualifications, is intentionally ridiculous, but it made me angry more than laugh at the exploits.

The writing seems to be very uneven on this show. John has commented many times about it. Suddenly you feel as though you've missed an episode, or a scene, and feel a bit lost.

The kids and the music are great. Tone down the use of the wife and resolve the fake pregnancy, and try to get a little more even in the writing, and I think it's a great show.

Eddie Bauer is rapidly becoming not worth it

2009-10-09T11:10:00.000-03:00

After the pants I shipped to my MIL's house did not fit, I reordered in a larger size. I specifically put down my PO box, which when I shipped to her, was also a PO box, so I thought this was a feasible way to ship. I received a call from FedEx this week saying they could not deliver to a PO box and needed a street address. Now I will have to pay a fee to a local hardware store to receive my package. I called Eddie Bauer and expressed my displeasure that they did not warn me that it couldn't be delivered. Her explanation was basically a "sometimes they can, sometimes they can't" answer.

I've been having other problems with them when it comes to sizing. The inconsistent sizing is a puzzler to me: I ordered the exact same pair of jeans, in the same cut, same size, the only different thing was the wash and I had bought the original pair in-store in Canada. When they arrived, it was as though they were a size smaller than labeled. A similar thing happened to me the last time I ordered through their catalog. I ordered the identical pair of pants to those I had purchased in-store, and when they arrived, it was as though I had ordered the "short" length. I checked all of the labels, nothing appeared wrong but they were definitely not right.

If the latest order does not work out, I am not sure I want to purchase anything from their catalog again. It's incredibly expensive to ship directly to Canada, and shipping to Calais is a pain. The closest store is Moncton, and I am not there very often. They also do not stock all styles in-store, so I am left trying to accommodate my new figure by inconvenient catalog ordering.

All of this is leaving me with the wish that I could make my own clothes. At least then they would fit.

Trash radio

2009-09-08T17:34:00.000-03:00

Radio in SJ is trash, yes, I am quite aware of that. However, it's too quiet in my office, so we need some kind of constant background noise. I share an office with another person. If either of us plays our own catalog on our PC, it often results in one of us not being happy with the music selection. I own a portable XM receiver, but it is not something I would prefer to bring in and leave at the office. Streaming audio at work is forbidden, since I issued the rule, I also have to abide by it. That leaves us with the option of radio to fill the noise gap.

One of my local radio stations recently underwent a format change, dumping the 70s and 80s from their roster, and put in a new slogan of "today's best hits". They they fill half their schedule with 90s music. Somehow they haven't understood the concept behind their new tagline. Nor have they bothered to update their website to reflect this supposed format change.

With this recent format change, I notice the 80s have all but disappeared from the SJ radio scene. I find that odd, seeing as how the 80s are experiencing a big resurgence right now. We're now left with country, 60s/70s on AM dial, 2 stations offering 90s and today, classic rock (a tiny bit of 80s), and someone playing their favorite CanCon in their mom's basement. The generic 80s are noticeably lacking.

Speaking of crappy radio, a lot of what they play from mom's basement is what I saw on a CBC documentary on 70s Canadian music. Again, I reiterate to them: you have decades worth of music to choose from... choose more wisely. There are even more 70s CanCon to choose from than what you're currently playing.

Upbeat tunage

2009-09-05T21:15:00.002-03:00

Songs that, no matter what is going on, will always make me turn up the volume and feel good. They aren't associated with bad memories, and they're just fun. I'm gathering a list from my library and will prob make a mix.

What You Need - INXS
Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
Sussudio - Phil Collins
Turn Up The Radio - Autograph
(Reach Up For The) Sunrise - Duran Duran
Get It On (Bang A Gong) - Power Station
Living In America - James Brown
Good Times - INXS with Jimmy Barnes
You Don't Mess Around With Jim or Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce (can't decide between the two!)
State of Shock - The Jacksons and Mick Jagger
Billie Jean or Beat It - Michael Jackson
I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness
Panama - Van Halen

An ongoing list, as I remember songs to add to it.

Changes

2009-08-25T12:35:00.002-03:00

Like every other woman on the planet, as my body gets older, it's going through some changes. For me, it means I've gone up another size on the bottom half, and now have a more hippy figure than I am used to. I never thought I'd be the one to buy "curvy fit" at stores, but here I am. I'm not happy about it, but genetics are involved and though I am doing more exercising, there's only so much I can do about it, seeing as how I can't quit my job to work out all day like a movie star.

What struck me this morning is that I have nothing to wear to the impending funeral. I am not used to "growing out" of my clothes, so I can't walk downstairs and grab one of my nice (classic, not 90s purple, I promise) suits because they don't fit anymore. I had finally gotten to a point where I felt I had most of the categories purchased and was well-covered for all occasions... and now I have to start all over again. I already have clothes... they just don't fit anymore. That's frustrating.

While the prospect of shopping for a new wardrobe sounds fun, the expense isn't something I'm thrilled about. I'm to the point where I want to buy better clothes, ones that wash well, fit well, flatter my new shape. That costs money, more money than I usually spend. Buying a new wardrobe isn't something I have been saving for, either. Not sure how I'm going to justify some of the expense to my husband, who thinks my level of clothing inventory is already the largest he's seen from any woman. Usually he's ok with me making new purchases as long as I weed out the old, so we'll see. I'm not talking a zillion dollars here, just $70-120 instead of $30-50; it will add up.

I'm already on the hunt for winter cords, seeing as how I coasted through last winter on fumes. Luckily a lot of places are now offering different fits & cuts. Eddie Bauer curvy fit cords, here I come.

I haven't had a good relationship with my body in the past, and these changes are making me feel worse about myself. Do people look at me and say, "hunh, she's finally put on some weight, ha ha ha!" That's sort of how I feel when people are near. It may be the furthest thing from their mind (at least until they read this), but not mine. I have stopped short of wearing barrels and baggy clothes, rest assured.

I called Personal Shopper Jenn for her help to find me something that I can wear to upcoming inevitable events. I've sometimes not been the best shopping companion as I adjust to New Body™, but she has been extremely patient with me, so I have to thank her for putting up with me. ;) I'm slowly getting better and trying to focus on the positive side of getting a new, higher quality wardrobe.

Losing & loss

2009-08-25T12:31:00.001-03:00

I wrote this section before getting a call from my Dad that my grandfather had an estimated 24-48 hours to live. I guess I was just in a depressed mood yesterday morning.

****************

Death scares me. In my mind, it is an unrecoverable loss. I'll never get to see those people again for the rest of my life. It's been 20 years since my grandmother died, and I still keenly feel the loss. I have many good times to remember her by, but it's not the same. I'd rather have her here with me, able to spend time with her as an adult, learn from her some skills I wish I'd been old enough to learn 20 years ago. I have a lot of regrets about not learning all that I could while I still could. I should have put more effort into knitting, should have paid more attention when she was cooking, should have should have should have. This was 20 years ago, and yet I can’t even type this without crying.

My grandfather is not well. He’s the last grandparent I have, and I know what’s coming. He will die, and I will have no grandparents left. His house will be sold, and that last connection to childhood places will be gone. I’m scared to visit him in the hospital, but I know that I have to. I don’t know how to deal with the deterioration, the frail body, the less intelligible speaking.

John may live a shorter life than me. After he’s gone, I’ll be alone. My parents will likely be gone, my brothers probably living away. John and I have no plans for children, but even if we had them, they likely wouldn’t want to be burdened with their lonely mother as they’d have their own lives to lead. He’s the one person who is there 24/7 listening intently to what I have to say, and I’m scared there won’t be anyone who cares that much if he’s not here.

I know I bore some people with my issues, I can see their eyes glaze over, their attention turns to something else, or they just start talking over me. It happens frequently, at least that is my perception. That’s one of the main reasons for this blog, so I can speak uninterrupted and for as long as I need.

***************

Dad called yesterday around 10:30am with the news. I went to the hospital at lunch and last evening. It's hard to see Gug like that, with his teeth out, mouth hanging open while he slept. He was never a large man, but not being able to eat the last few months means that he's basically wasted away. He doesn't look like himself. I need to push past this and go visit anyway, so he knows I'm there.

I'm tired of losing people. I haven't really lost that many people, to be honest, but I'm tired of it nonetheless. I know there are more losses to come in life, and it's going to happen to people even more close to me. My faith does help me believe that the people who have passed are in a better place, but I'm selfish and want them still here with me.

Gug never wanted to be immobile, bedridden, etc. He had surgery on his eyes for cataracts and cornea transplants, something which encouraged me to become an organ donor candidate. He also had veins stripped and replaced in his legs to help circulation. These things helped to keep him going, living with his dog in his house, mostly independent. He loves to read, golf, and bowl, but wasn't able to do much of that recently.

What I dread the most is the aftermath. I dread funeral parlour and funeral. Having to go to the church and the gravesite is going to rehash a lot of memories from my grandmother's funeral 20 years ago. I feel like I'm going to endure a double loss. Thankfully I have John to support me.

God, when you decide it's time, please take care of him.

Bad guy

2009-08-10T14:34:00.001-03:00

Why does the onus have to be on me to interpret your grammatical error in such a way that it makes sense? I could be a real bitch about it and tell you I have no idea what you’re saying, but I can tell you how that conversation would turn out. “You know what I meant. Geez, what are you so sticky on grammar for?” Then I’m the bad guy for “making you” feel stupid, thus eliciting a defensive reaction in which you would feel the need to put me down. Why should I be the bad guy when you’re the one who types a sentence that mistakes “once” for “ones”?

Caring time is over

2009-08-07T13:48:00.004-03:00

People will only care for so long. No matter how many times you remind others of your life's hardship, there is an inherent shelf life to how long you can gain sympathy from others. I have run into this three times in my life (one of which I am not discussing here intentionally).

5 years ago, after a long-term relationship breakup, I spent a lot of time talking, joking, whining, and stuck in a post-breakup rut. It got to the point where I had to be kicked in the ass by a friend of mine, who told me to basically "get over it" and addressed the specifics of my complaints in a way that made sense to me. His comments clicked, I couldn't argue them, and it was a turning point for me. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I did and finally moved forward with my life.

The reason I have come to blog today is that I noticed a correlation between the aforementioned situation and a work situation. Since most of my life over the past year has been usurped by work, I'm a pretty busy person. I will tell anyone who will listen about how busy I am (see a pattern?) and it is the truth. I currently have 880 items in my email inbox that need sorting/action, I have pages of notes since June 30 that need to be reviewed and logged and possibly acted upon, and I have 4 stacks of paper that are things I need to fix or research, plus phone calls and drop-ins. [881 now].

In my mind, if the issue is not a crisis, I feel it is most important to address the oldest issues first because they have been waiting the longest. Others do not share this opinion. They know how busy I am, and have even repeated it back to me, but they've gone beyond the point of caring. They have now emailed another person in my department (who will only end up bringing the issue to me anyway) and copied my boss. The copying of my boss is what irks me to no end. A lot of people subscribe to the belief that if the boss is copied, the work will get done faster, when, in actuality, it's a guaranteed way to piss me off and put your issues on the bottom of my list. It feels childish and immature, like they have to tattle on you that you're not getting your job done. Given this and a second email sent to someone else in my department (but not cc'd to my boss that time), I can only assume that caring time is over and this person just wants answers.

Yeah? Well so do the other 1000 issues I have sitting around me right now. It's a bit overwhelming at times, actually. The sad part is, despite all of the overtime I have already worked, it's going to take more overtime to dig myself out of this hole. [882].

So, now I am stuck dealing with this issue because my boss was copied, achieving the opposite signal I want to send because, ultimately, it affects a third party. I know what my boss will say, I know what this co-worker will say, I can play it all out in my head. The least painful method to me is to just get it done and move forward.

Caring has a shelf life, and it expired today. It sucks, but nobody cares anymore. Just shut up and get some more work done, will ya? Geesh.

Truth be told

2009-07-10T13:00:00.000-03:00

As children, we're taught that telling the truth is a golden rule, something that should always be followed. As adults, we know that in practice, this doesn't always work out. "Little white lies" to "spare feelings" happen often. "Of course your baby is beautiful." "I don't mind pet snakes at all." "I love mayo on my sandwich." Little lies like this that avoid the truth, but spare the feelings of the other person, seem to become a necessity when you're an adult.

I am a horrible liar. Knowing this, I usually try and stick to the truth in situations where I don't have to pretend to like pickles on my sandwich. Recently, I went to visit family without my husband along. He was out of town at the time playing Dungeons & Dragons. When a relative asked me where he was, I simply stated he was gaming with friends. When pressed about what game he was playing, I told the truth. She gasped, and then didn't continue our conversation. Being a born-again Christian, I understood what that gasp meant: she subscribed to the belief that DnD is somehow evil.

Following this incident, we were at a family dinner, where my husband noted that the relative did not speak to him or even acknowledge his presence. I did not notice this, as there were a lot of people in the room, but I think he felt he received the cold shoulder and different treatment than he had received from her in the past.

Is this relative is treating my husband poorly based on her misguided beliefs that DnD is somehow evil? My husband is not prone to psychotic breaks or mental issues. He has a firm grasp of reality and is not a Satan-worshiper. In fact, his characters in the game are usually heroes. He also plays video games in which he creates various superheroes and fights the bad guys. He loves comic books and his favorite character is Superman -- the consummate hero. How can this possibly be misconstrued as evil? Do people really still believe that a board game is inherently evil and or people do bad things because a TV-movie told them so?

It just ends up making me feel like I should have lied and said "Scrabble". Sometimes the truth just isn't worth it, and that is a shame. The world could use more truth.

Curbside: nah, that's too easy

2009-06-20T20:33:00.001-03:00

Change is a-comin' to the way we sort our recycling in my city. This doesn't help the problem of hundreds of cars all driving to drop off recycling, increasing pollution. We need curbside recycling, which has been proven to be the most effective for participation, and with trucks already rolling on garbage & compost, creates less pollution overall. Saint John takes the stupid route over & over again, and frankly, it's depressing.

My life is work, and work is my life, at least for now

2009-05-12T22:09:00.004-03:00

Either way, no vacation.

Work is pretty much all I am doing at the moment, even in the evenings. I'm 3 weeks away from our go live date on the new software. I'm pretty stressed out, but I did manage to sneak away tonight to see Star Trek.

I did not have a good week in Halifax last week. Training did not go as well as hoped. I also managed to leave my purse behind on the last day of training. The people running the training center had to go to Truro on Friday, so they took my purse with them, knowing I'd be coming through Truro on my way home. Only problem with that was that I had less than $5 on me. I had enough to cross the Mackay Bridge and back to visit one of my stores. Luckily I wasn't very hungry and made it to Truro by lunchtime.

While in Halifax, I met up with Cyn. We had our usual driving adventures (fitting for the anniversary of the Van Man incident) which included ignoring the GPS in favor of Cyn's directions, only for her to realize that she usually comes from the other direction. Funny thing: the GPS liked to pronounce Halifax as "Hellyfax". Fitting.

So, I got the heck out of Dodge on Friday. My "luck" continued on Saturday when I drove to Calais to get my mother's day present. I ordered it in plenty of time, and checked the online shipping status on Tuesday night. It had already reached Maine, so I knew it would be in Calais in plenty of time for Saturday. John's DnD session was canceled, so he drove down with me. We arrived at the hardware store to find out that my package wasn't there, even though I asked twice, the guy insisted UPS didn't come until Monday. Er, ok. Drove home, checked the internet. It had been there since Wednesday. GRRRR. Now what do I do? Drive down Sunday morning, after having driven a lot the last 2 days? In the end, I rearranged my day so that I didn't exhaust myself, didn't rush my time with Mum, and still managed to see a friend's new house. I did have to sacrifice my plan to see Star Trek with friends that day, but that was the one thing I could reschedule. John drove to down to Calais today and got the wreath, so now I just need to get it to my mother. I haven't opened the box, scared to after the luck I had last weekend!

I left work "early" and was able to see Star Trek with John tonight. It was very entertaining, and I did enjoy myself, but I was left with a sense of disappointment. I am a longtime fan of the original series (TOS), and I felt annoyed that the writers re-wrote history. Spock's mother didn't die, she and Sarek visited the Enterprise in TOS. Capt Pike was totally messed up and could only beep "yes" or "no" in his wheelchair. These people didn't go through Starfleet Academy together. As a fan of TOS, it is very hard to set aside things you know not to be true. For those who don't know much about TOS, I am sure you enjoyed it much more thoroughly than I did. I'm torn because I did enjoy the movie, but think they could have done a movie with these characters that did not involve time travel and did not rewrite history. John is rubbing off on me with his dislike of time travel as a plot device.

I loved the cast. Everyone was very well cast, and I particularly enjoyed Karl Urban as Bones. Chris Pine was great as Kirk, he didn't do a Shatner impersonation, but I felt kept the essence of Kirk and made it his own. His final lines to Bones had just that right intonation that you felt you were hearing the same character.

Time to break out TOS DVDs again.

Frustrating

2009-04-12T22:08:00.000-03:00

I am trying to knit a gift for a work friend, and I have managed to screw it up 4 times:

Didn't leave enough yarn to cast on all stitches
Dropped a stitch after 1st round and couldn't recover
Finally got the first section done, only to screw up after misreading the pattern, undid the 2.5 rows back down to the start of the second section
Followed the pattern correctly this time, only to screw it up again

At that point, I decided to put it down as I felt pretty incompetent.

After that, I managed to totally ignore the beets cooking on the stove to the point where it created a giant red mess everywhere and started to burn. My mother managed to save the pot for me, thankfully.

I realize that I suffer from perfectionism, but I just feel totally incompetent today. It's stressful cooking a meal for my mother and not having everything turn out the way I want it to. Yes, she's done it a zillion times and has likely made her share of mistakes, but that's not the point. I should be capable of remembering that something boiling for over an hour may need to have more water added. This led to me being tired & grumpy during Easter dinner.

What I am ultimately tired & grumpy about, other than a couple of failed attempts today, is that my long weekend has come to a close. I could really use another day (or week, or two, or three) off from work, but I just can't do that right now. I feel like a slave to my job. I'm on tap to go to Halifax for 2 weeks to observe training. I hate Halifax, so that's also making me very cranky. I do not want to go, but I don't have a choice; I was volun-told.

The hardest part is knowing that the worst is yet to come with this work project. Trying to get everyone on board may lead to me going to the nuthouse. I will be so glad when this is over.

Behind the [tech] times

2009-04-07T09:45:00.001-03:00

Tech consumers frustrated by Canadian roadblocks (cbc.ca)

I feel like a "digital peasant" a lot. Even last night, I watched my husband sigh out loud at yet another site that denied him access because he's in Canada. I know he feels like he's sacrificed a lot tech-wise to move here, and he also understands how frustrating it is for me to be consistently denied things I'd like to pay to access but still cannot.

The Leno Effect

2009-04-05T13:28:00.000-03:00

I have been following the news regarding Jay Leno's new fall show and NBC's fall format. Leno will be on 5 nights/week, at 10pm Eastern, spelling the end of "drama at 10pm".

I like Leno, but am not a big enough fan to tune in on a regular basis. The Tonight Show is also on at 12:30am here, being 1h ahead of the Eastern time zone. It's not often that I can't sleep, so I rarely am awake to watch his show. On the odd times I happen to catch it, I do enjoy his monologue, headlines, and Jaywalking. I may tune in more often now that he'll be on at a better hour for me, just as I'm heading to bed; sometimes I stop and watch a few minutes of TV before hitting the sack.

NBC is taking a big risk with this format. Will it succeed? I don't think there are enough die-hard Leno fans to keep this show at a viewership level that would be acceptable to NBC. I think the other networks are sitting back, drooling over the 10pm slot, planning to put their best efforts into destroying NBC. Because this is such a big commitment, NBC will let Leno continue for at least half a season before replacing it at midseason. One can only assume/hope that NBC has replacement shows in the wings if this gamble turns out to be a losing effort.

Perhaps the gamble will work and we'll start to see copycats. I'm not totally negative about this situation; any new show that isn't "reality" programming is a welcome relief these days. I've had enough of D-list "stars" dancing, skating, rehabbing, and slobbing their way across my TV screen.

What prompted me to dust off my blog today (in addition to it being Sunday and I actually have time to write) was this article. Since I am in Canada, my local cable company chooses an network affiliate for each US network. A few years ago, we switched from the closest US location (Bangor, ME) to various locations. My FOX comes from Rochester, NY, ABC from Detroit, CBS and NBC from Boston. WHDH is thus my NBC affiliate, and if it chooses not to carry the new Leno, the first question that came to mind is whether my cable company will give me a new NBC feed. It is the responsibility of my cable company to provide me with a US network feed that provides network programming, and if this station does not do so, will Rogers make a change?

Back when all of our networks were Bangor affiliates, the broadcast signal was unreliable and crappy at best. NBC was station to stay on the longest, but the signal reliability was so bad that eventually that station also had to be replaced with a more reliable signal. With the recent US change to all-digital programming, that is no longer an issue. I have to wonder: will we get a Bangor station back on the air in this area?

I missed having a US network affiliate that was closer to my geographic location. Though I don't live in Bangor, their news and advertisements are sometimes relevant because I visit there on a semi-regular basis. Perhaps the station has a news story about Calais, or an advertisment for a new store in Bangor that will make me want to drive 3h to shop. And don't discount the humor that comes from the "downeast" commercials from businesses such as Hammond Lumber. I may never drive to Bangor for a hardware store, but "ham and cheese, ham and eggs, Hammond Lumber" always gets stuck in my head.

John is starting to rub off on me as I am now contemplating a letter to Rogers Cable, asking if it plans on providing me with network programming and thus switching my Boston affiliate to another area, preferably Bangor. Will I actually do this? Probably not, as I don't have a lot of time on my hands, and it is a fruitless effort to try and contact Rogers about anything. But it's an interesting idea and question.

It will be a bad decision if NBC "punishes" WHDH. The station should continue with their news plan, and if viewers want Leno, they'll pummel the station with requests to the point where the station will have to make the change. Or, if Leno's show sucks and NBC pulls it anyway, at least WHDH has come up with a plan and they will be the one station in that area to have news programming during that timeslot.

More stupid things heard on 20 on 20

2009-02-04T22:26:00.000-04:00

XM's 20 on 20, after the merger with Sirius, now has a "morning show". I blogged the other day about the parenting issues of Brendan Fraser. The next stupid statements from the DJs had to do with TiVo: a pet peeve topic for John and me. I'll recount the conversation:

"Did you catch [American] Idol last night?"
"No, my TiVo screwed it up, so I didn't catch it."
"Do you have TiVo or DVR?"
"Well, they're pretty much the same thing." (Stupid statement #1)
"No, they're not. My TiVo doesn't seem to work right anymore." (Stupid statement #2)

Having seen examples of cable company DVRs vs TiVo, I can attest that they are NOT the same thing. The principle behind the unit may be the same, but their functionalities, and especially the user interface, is quite different. The cable version I have seen is ugly, confusing, and not as user-friendly as TiVo.

This is not the first complaint I have heard regarding TiVo "not working right anymore". My MIL recently has made similar statements to the point where she decided to cancel her TiVo and go with Time Warner's DVR and cable service. Her complaints focused around not getting the shows she had requested, and when she did get the correct show, it may have been missing the beginning or end. Being on the other side of the continent from her, I can't just stop by and try to help figure out her situation.

If I was there, the first thing I would investigate was whether she was getting timely schedule updates. TiVo can only record a show if it's on the schedule, and the schedule is provided by a third party which, in turn, gets its info from the local cable company's service. Think about this for a second. If you're the cable company, and you offer your own DVR, plus you provide schedule information to a 3rd party that passes it along to TiVo, is there a lot of incentive to provide the competition with correct information? I am very dubious about this and suspect that it was part of the problem my MIL was experiencing. Since I'm in Canada, maybe my cable company is playing more fair with their schedule information than some US companies. [I laugh at the thought of Rogers being more ethical, but it is likely true. I chuckle nonetheless.]

I have never had the type of major scheduling issues that my MIL has experienced. John has had TiVo even longer and has had fewer errors or issues with scheduling, especially since changing to a broadband connection. Sure, I get the occasional screw-up; for instance, when President Bush's final address took place, there was not enough time to update the schedule. I ended up with the President instead of Ugly Betty. There have been a few occasions where we have recorded a show only to discover another show was on, but when we checked the TiVo guide, as far as TiVo was concerned, the correct show was supposed to be on at that time. If there is not enough time to notify the third party and then reload the schedule change to TiVo, then of course you won't get the correct show. However, this is not TiVo's fault, and I think TiVo gets unfairly blamed for a lot of these instances.

Another problem may be the use of a phone line connection instead of broadband in order to download the schedule. Per John's first-hand experience and the TiVo manual, the phone connection is slower than broadband, only makes a connection once per day, and is slower when the TiVo is being used at the same time as the download. Using broadband, the TiVo usually connects on average every 12h, is a faster download, and overall doesn't have as much effect when using the TiVo during the download. Logic would dictate that the person with the broadband connection would have a more accurate schedule. In addition, the broadband connection can be used to force an update at any time if TiVo deems it necessary. A phone line can only get updates when it calls in (typically around 2-3am).

A possibility, though a long shot, is also that the time on the TiVo device isn't correct. TiVo is supposed to sync its clock on the download, but if your phone connection isn't necessarily reliable or if there is some kind of sync problem, then that may be another cause for the shows to get cut off. I have never experienced this issue using my broadband connection, but I could see how it may be a possibility using a phone connection.

Another cause may be due to the fact that many networks are purposely making shows slightly longer or start at 59 minutes past the hour in an effort to hold on to an audience. CSI, ER, and House are all shows that have had slightly over an hour lengths, that, if TiVo's guide is not made aware of, means you only get the first hour and may miss the last couple of minutes. This is another area where TiVo gets unfairly blamed for something that isn't its fault.

Saying TiVo doesn't "work right" requires more investigation than simply placing blame on the box sitting on the shelf. There are many things that could be wrong, and most of them have to do with the non-TiVo players involved. Had I been able to, I would have liked to investigate my MIL's issues and perhaps saved her some frustrations. She has since moved on, switched cable and DVR providers, and seems happy with her new equipment. This was her choice, and though I don't agree with it, I hope she's happy with her decision and has a better TV recording experience. As to the DJs, I hope they will stop dissing TiVo to the nation and instead try to find a resolution to their problems.

I'm annoyed at...

2009-02-04T14:17:00.004-04:00

the City, for seemingly never plowing Gaelic Drive. I guess everyone on Gaelic works from home and doesn't need to be elsewhere by 8:30am? I know it's not an important street, being in a subdivision, but can you at least give it a scrape so a car can attempt to drive on it?
our mayor, for telling people to "please shut up" in a public forum. News flash: you're not better than anyone else, and you should apologize. You should be treating people with respect, not rudeness.
people who complain about winter weather AND complain about it being too hot in the summer. SHUT UP ALREADY (I'm not the mayor, so I can say that). You're only allowed to complain about one or the other, not both. If you're complaining about both, then you're obviously very unhappy here and should move.
doctors' offices which expect you to call them back, but have very limited hours during which you can reach them.
the girl currently visiting my office who is complaining that today is "the worst day of [her] life because [she's] a quarter of a century old." Old isn't bad. Seriously. I wouldn't want to go back to being 20-25, no thanks.
people who walk on the street even when the sidewalk is plowed and clear of ice/debris. If I hit you, it's your fault for walking where you're not supposed to be.

Islander Day

2009-01-22T13:00:00.001-04:00

PEI is joining the ranks of other provinces that get a holiday in February. What I don't understand is why they chose the 2nd Monday of February, whereas the other provinces chose the 3rd Monday (which coincides with Presidents Day in the US). Can someone explain this one to me? Why not take advantage of the fact that most of the rest of the country is shut down? I can't find any reason for it to be the 2nd instead of the 3rd Monday.

Bad planning and no forethought, if you ask me. What if Family Day becomes a federal holiday at some point in the future? Does that mean PEI will be the odd one out?

Accountability

2009-01-19T17:21:00.001-04:00

I was flipping through the channels on XM satellite radio this morning, and stopped to hear Brendan Fraser’s guest spot on 20 on 20. He was telling what he termed a parenting genius moment (paraphrased, but he was not being sarcastic). His 3 year old child hit his other child with a broom. When he came by to see what was going on, and [I believe] administer punishment, the 3 year old looked like he was about to start crying. Fraser wanted anything but the kid to start crying, so he said “Bad broom!” and thus the 3 year old joined in and shouted “bad broom” and then everything was ok. I may not have my details correct regarding whether or not the child was punished before almost crying, but I do have the crux of the story: he taught his son that it was the broom’s fault that his sibling was hit.

I did not find this story “cute” in the least. It is yet another example of how children are not being taught accountability for their actions. That 3 year old, despite not really knowing what he was doing, should have been dealt with properly. He should have been taught that brooms can be dangerous and can hurt people if you use them the wrong way, thus learning not to do it again. Instead, all the child will remember is that it was the broom’s fault that his sibling got hurt.

Children are going to do bad things that they will need to be punished for; this is inevitable. They will cry, and parents will feel bad. None of this means that a parent should find an alternate source of blame just to avoid an emotional outburst. Easy for me to say, right? I’m not a parent, but I think I’m right on this issue. I’ve seen the result of what happens when children aren’t taught accountability, and it begins with something as simple as a broom. This is what leads to a life of never having to take responsibility for your actions. We have enough of that attitude already, thanks. How about teaching your kids right and wrong, and responsibility. There's a novel idea.

A Saturday off

2009-01-17T14:18:00.000-04:00

It's nice not to have to be at work today. I'm sitting at the hair salon, waiting for my turn. Afterward I plan on heading to Wal-Mart, Michaels, and Kent to pick up a few things. Then to church, then some grocery shopping, and spending the rest of the weekend inside. With 15-20cm coming tomorrow, I think I'll just stay in and catch up on all the TV I have saved.

I've been working hard, and was finally rewarded yesterday by the news that they are giving me a bonus. We'll be able to pay for the barn and have a bit left over, I hope. Taxes will take a big dent out of it, but it will still be a good amount.

I'm still doing pretty well using the treadmill. I'm on it most every day, and watching TV while I walk. I'm feeling better, and I think it has helped with the stress I've been under at work.

Weekend? What weekend?

2009-01-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

I've only been away from my office since 1:30pm on Saturday, so it doesn't feel like I've had a whole weekend off, which I haven't.

Friday night we watched Charlie Wilson's War. Not bad, but I didn't feel like either of the leads were Texans. I felt Julia Roberts was not well cast in her role. Tom Hanks was good, but I think Billy Bob Thornton could have made a better Texan. Philip Seymour Hoffman was the only lead who made me forget that they weren't their character. Decent movie, but not one I'll buy.

Today felt like non-stop chore day. I volunteered to make dinner tonight, so I set out a prime rib from the freezer and cooked it along with mashed potatoes, carrots and green beans. After dinner I baked a pound cake. It was a good meal that gave John a break from cooking for once. I have also finished gathering up the remaining Christmas decorations (which weren't many because John took most of them down, and even labeled the bags for me, thanks dear), did some laundry, tried to work on my knitting club mitten project but got stuck when I didn't understand the directions. I put that away and decided to start the blanket for Regan's baby. Unlike some, I don't get bored by thousands of knit stitch row after row, and anything I don't have to sew up later is more motivating to do.

We received a treadmill for Christmas and after John set it up last weekend, I've managed to walk all but two days. I've been watching TV on DVD while I walk, which takes the boredom away from walking on a treadmill. The only down side is how hot it gets, since the treadmill isn't far from the wood stove. I am feeling pretty good about getting exercise again, and not having to endure freezing windchill outside.

This will be another busy week at work. There are a lot of things to fix on the project I'm doing. We're also doing a demo for some co-workers, so I'm interested to see their reaction. I'm not fearing it, for once, which is good. After that presentation, I'm invited to dinner afterward, which is dinner theatre at Steamers.

I've been taking a break from status updates on Facebook this week. Lately I've been feeling that my updates are likely getting lost in the crowd, and I've been wanting to say more than one line about what's up with me. So I return to hopefully more regular blogging.

LOL

2009-01-10T10:45:00.002-04:00

Seen on a Facebook group of high school kids who started a petition for allowing phones/iPods back in school after being banned:

oh well I still f***ing hate my princible for banning them

Maybe if you learned to spell, your princible [sic] might be a little more lenient.

a long week

2009-01-09T22:04:00.002-04:00

I'm very tired. I've worked overtime every night this week, and I'm mentally exhausted. I have a hard time believing I just came off a week of vacation for Christmas. I still have to go in to work tomorrow, for another half-day of training. I have Sunday off, then I get to do it all over again next week. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to pull this all together for Feb 2nd, especially since the largest part needs input from someone who today told me they have basically 3 free days between now and the end of the month. It isn't the first time a project of mine has taken a backseat to everything else, but this one is more important than most that I've worked on.

Kash (or, Money with Eyeballs)

2008-12-21T22:27:00.000-04:00

I have to disagree with this blog post. I love Kash. I can't stop laughing at the money with eyeballs. I also love 80s music, so hearing "Somebody's Watching Me" is also amusing.

To each their own. I'm still laughing. I'm looking forward to seeing where Kash ends up next.

Weekend

2008-12-21T22:22:00.000-04:00

I've had a good, albeit short, weekend. It took most of it just to get the tree decorated. I somehow haven't been as interested in decorating this year as I usually am. I did, however, seem to be much less stressed about presents this year, so overall that is a win.

Friday night John and I went to see a musical version of Narnia. Most of the songs were not memorable, and they changed or removed items that were in the book; I wouldn't care to see it again. The children in the audience seemed to enjoy themselves, so that was at least a good point. After having now read the book, seen the movie, and watched a musical version, I can say without a doubt that the book is the best. The movie and the musical both make Edmund's "acting out" so over-the-top that I wanted to smack him. In the book, Edmund really isn't that bad. I enjoyed the book, and would read it again, preferably over watching the movie.

I wrapped some presents on Saturday. Still have more to wrap, but I am not as interested in that action this year either. I need to wrap John's presents, but he's usually home, so I guess I'll just have to shut myself away in the basement and tell him not to come down.

Today was a small milestone for me: I finally got to light an Advent candle at church. I have always wanted to light one, and this year I spoke up and requested it because mass this morning was being said for my grandparents. The wreath was higher than I thought, so I couldn't fully see the top of the candle, but luckily hit the wick and lit it without problem. Following mass was a family Christmas party which I really enjoyed. I don't get to see my family as much anymore, compared to when my grandparents were alive. We had food, conversation, and a Yankee Swap where I got some Belgian chocolate fudge and choc covered almonds. Looking forward to trying that fudge, and I like almonds. John almost walked away with some movie money, but got traded for a lotto ticket and an ornament. He did end up winning $3, though, so not a bad deal at all.

We watched Office Space tonight, which I had never seen. It was funny, though it did feel a bit long in parts. Jennifer Aniston, who I usually can't stand to watch as anyone other than Rachel, was decent. The fact that they used a Mac that shut down to a C:\ bothered me, but I understand the point of making it generic office computer.

I have 2.5 days of work left and then I am off until Jan 2nd. I am really looking forward to the break. I barely had any time off this summer, so having this week off that already includes 3 stat holidays is a real treat. I hope to enjoy lots of reading, movies, and I am already booked to setup and install a PC for someone on Boxing Day.

Should have stayed home today

2008-12-17T13:02:00.000-04:00

It started on my drive in to work. There was some snow in the air. An hour later, my car was covered. We have about 15cm (6") down since about 9am this morning. I am not looking forward to driving home tonight. The wind is supposed to pick up, and along the coast it may change to a mix of freezing rain and snow. I just want to get home safely and not venture out again until tomorrow.

Radio experiment: results

2008-12-16T22:03:00.000-04:00

I finished tracking 5 days' worth of songs on Saintjohnradio.fm. I wasn't able to catch every single song, nor was I able to write down all that I heard because there were some that I didn't recognize or couldn't google. Here are my findings:

Total number of songs tracked: 388
% of those songs which were CanCon: 44% (surprisingly lower than I thought)

Top played artists:
Pink Floyd 14
Rolling Stones 13
Led Zeppelin 13
Kim Mitchell 13
April Wine 12
Beatles 12
Bryan Adams 11
Rush 11
Tom Cochrane 10
Elton John 9
Blue Rodeo 8
ZZ Top 7

Most played songs:
Gimme All Your Lovin' by ZZ Top: 5 times
Just Between You and Me by April Wine: 4 times

Standing in the Dark Platinum Blonde 3
Magic Power Triumph 3
Try Blue Rodeo 3
Hey You Pink Floyd 3
New Orleans is Sinking Tragically Hip 3
Easy To Tame Kim Mitchell 3
Good Times Tom Cochrane 3
Eyes of a Stranger Payolas 3
Feel It Again Honeymoon Suite 3
Voodoo Thing Colin James 3
Nova Heart Spoons 3
Rockland Wonderland Kim Mitchell 3
I'm an adult now Pursuit of Happyness 3
Go For A Soda Kim Mitchell 3
Working for the Weekend Loverboy 3
Show Me The Way Peter Frampton 3
Someday Glass Tiger 3
Sinking like a sunset Tom Cochrane 3
Angel Eyes Jeff Healey Band 3
All Of My Love Led Zeppelin 3
Diamond Mine Blue Rodeo 3

With all of these artists, why in the heck didn't they play any: Queen -- not a single song by Queen all week. I did hear Another One Bites The Dust today, though.

Songs repeated during the same day:
Carry On My Wayward Son Kansas 12/12/08 2
Gimme All Your Lovin ZZ Top 12/12/08 2
The Joker Steve Miller 12/11/08 2
Time Pink Floyd 12/10/08 2
Try Blue Rodeo 12/11/08 2

Most ironic song: How Many More Times by Led Zeppelin

Radio experiment: halfway through Day 3

2008-12-10T15:06:00.001-04:00

I've heard 4 Pink Floyd songs today, two of which were the same song. They played it this morning and this afternoon. Seriously?! I thought maybe I wrote it down incorrectly, perhaps it was the end of the list from yesterday, but no.

I haven't run across a song that has been on all three days (yet), but I'm getting lots of repeats today.

Just heard the 8th Rush song since I began, and it was the first Rush repeat.

Once I have a week's worth of data, I'll post some statistics.

Radio experiment: start of Day 3

2008-12-10T09:42:00.000-04:00

The station I'm following is Saintjohnradio.fm (the former Pirate) at 103.5.

It's the start of Day 3 and I already have some repeat songs:

Going to California by Led Zeppelin
Rose Colored Glasses by Blue Rodeo
Fantasy by Aldo Nova
Just Between You and Me by April Wine
Gimme All Your Lovin by ZZ Top

I've heard 6 different Rush songs, so I'm convinced I'll hear a Rush repeat today. They love Rush on this station. I've also heard multiple songs by Glass Tiger, Bryan Adams, Colin James, Elton John, Kim Mitchell, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, The Beatles, and Tom Cochrane. Repeats are sure to follow the rest of this week.

Radio experiment

2008-12-08T11:01:00.000-04:00

When we moved into our new office, my co-worker and I found it a little too quiet and decided to get a radio for background noise. Most local radio stations are so repetitive that it became more annoying to keep hearing the same songs than silence. However, we did come across a local station that had changed format in the last couple of months. When first tuning in, I thought it was great – I must have hit upon a good programming day. Any station that plays Notorious by Duran Duran will pique my interest.

We’ve been listening to this station for a few weeks now, and I have noticed an odd pattern. While they do play songs not normally heard on the top 40, light rock, or classic rock stations, they seem to be just as repetitive. I’m fairly sure that they play Tom Sawyer by Rush every day. While I don’t have any like nor dislike for that song, I find it odd that they would play the same song by Rush with such regularity. Rush has a large catalog of music, why not spread it around? Another example is Nova Heart by The Spoons. I’ve heard this quite a few times now, but where are the other Spoons songs they could be playing?

They play a large amount of Canadian Content, which makes me curious if they are under a different set of rules. Since they are a smaller station, do they have to play more CanCon that the others? Or do they just love resurrecting Canadian 80s songs? While I’m happy to hear some Blue Rodeo and Glass Tiger, I am not sure how much more April Wine I can take. SJers seem to love April Wine, as evidenced by the number of times they’ve played here.

I’m gathering evidence by starting to track the songs being played. It should be interesting to see how often things really are played.

Grumble

2008-11-10T21:00:00.003-04:00

It's hard to feel motivated when you don't see that carrot at the other end of the stick. All I see is the stick still being there, and right now, that's not much of a motivator.

I was supposed to have a 4 day weekend, but that got cut short to a regular weekend. Partly because I am behind, but also because a third party didn't clearly explain their expectations of me. I'm really angry about that, since they sat in front of me and marked off what needed to be accomplished, only to later turn around and ask if I was finished other things. I'm losing motivation and energy at a very quick pace.

I didn't have much of a summer vacation. I took a few days off when John moved. I couldn't take any time off during his mother/nephew's visit. I took two days off for a 1 day event in Montreal. I'm burning out.

I have US Thanksgiving booked off, and if the job market continues to look bleak, John will be off too. I am taking that time come hell or high water. I need the break. I learned today that I may also be able to take the time between Christmas and New Year's. It's not my turn, but the other person doesn't seem to care as much as I do about it. I could really use that solid week off to relax and just enjoy myself.

I've been working from home this evening for the past 2 hours, and now I'm pretty much spent. I still have laundry to finish. It may have to take a backseat tonight.

Post-weekend

2008-11-04T10:26:00.000-04:00

Halloween candy distribution didn’t go as badly as I thought. Even the older kids were polite, and I got lots of compliments on the carved pumpkins. One even fist bumped me and gave me props. I had about 70 kids in total. No really good costumes this year.

I sat outside and tried to read, but wasn’t feeling like it in the end that night. Instead I grabbed the laptop and did some wireless surfing, trying to come up with a very last minute Halloween costume, to no avail. I just couldn’t produce something that quickly. We also could not find the shirt that belonged to John’s renaissance outfit, so we both decided to go to a party un-costumed. We walked in the door and got some comments on our lack of costume, but whatever. The party was more subdued than previous years. I think a lot of people were tired from the week and/or Chicago rehearsals. I wasn’t interested in playing Rock Band, so a bunch of us sat around and talked.

Work encouraged us to dress up on Halloween, but then also scheduled security badge photos on the same day. I questioned that decision and was basically told to stuff it.

Didn’t end up going to Calais on Saturday because my package didn’t say it had been delivered. Mum went to Bangor today so I’m getting her to stop and pick up my parcel. I think we’ll be heading to Calais again either the 15^th or 22^nd to get a turkey for Thanksgiving. I also want to buy a bunch of stuff online for xmas presents, so if I can get organized and order a crapload of stuff, I can save some money. Saving money is paramount right now after all of the moving debt and John still being unemployed. We have some leads for him, and his resume is getting out there, so I hope we’ll get movement soon. He’s bored, and we need the money. :)

I’m headed over to Mare’s tonight to do some knitting. Dre and possibly Emily are coming over too. I may try to hit Michael’s tonight before heading to Mare’s to get some yarn on sale. I’m going to try knitting another blanket. I have a sample piece of fabric that will be used for Regan’s baby room. I think the light green/white combo yarn may be the best match. I liked how that yarn knit up, so I’d like to stick with that rather than something adult and more scratchy.

Tomorrow night is knitting club at the library again. I am almost finished the mini-purse we’re doing as our project. I just have the strap remaining to knit. Maybe I’ll finish that off tonight. I restarted a scarf for myself and can keep working on that too.

Correction on the previous post: It was not the same neighbour who I spoke with about the kids in our yard. It was a different neighbour who told her kids to cut across our yard on their bikes.

Crankiness

2008-10-31T13:00:00.000-03:00

I'm particularly cranky today, mostly self-induced.

It started last night when I berated myself for not calling a contact regarding a doctor for John sooner than yesterday. I'm frustrated with myself for not just picking up the phone and doing it earlier. It was a simple phone call, the contact seemed to have no problem helping. I was scared to make the call because I wasn't sure if the contact would recall who I was from just a voicemail message, so I had to use my maiden name. I also hate leaving voicemails, as I usually end up sounding like a rambling idiot, even if I do have a script to work with. In my own defense, I did email the contact about 5 weeks ago, only to be told later that he doesn't check his email very often.

We've been having a recurring problem with various kids walking and/or riding bikes across our yard. John caught a couple of them biking across the yard last night, so he yelled out to them to not do it. The neighbor next door responded by saying "sorry, I told them to." This is the same neighbor with whom I already had a conversation asking her to speak to her son about not cutting through our yard. Now all the kid knows is "mom thinks it's ok" so we'll never get them to stop. We also recently had a parent accompany their child to cut through our yard, which teaches the child that it's ok to trespass on our property.

I'm sick and tired of being the central walkway for the neighborhood. I pay my property taxes and that means I get to decide what goes on on my property. Streets and sidewalks are for transportation, my backyard is not. I often feel in life that I am stepped on, ignored, and pushed aside. Having people walk all over my yard feels like another version of walking all over me. They have no respect for me; if they did, they'd ask permission or just not do it. Other than posting signs and possibly gathering evidence to take someone to court, I don't really have any recourse. We can fence our property, but given the size of it, that would cost a lot of money.

What I am particularly concerned about is whether we'll get any pranks tonight, especially after catching those kids last night. I'm not much in the mood to hand out free candy to all of the kids who walk across our yard, so it's put a damper on Halloween for me this year.

I got in to work this morning and lots of people are dressed up for Halloween. I'm annoyed with myself for not putting in the effort to get a costume this year. Every year for the past few I have said, this is the year I'll make the effort and get a costume idea and have it come to fruition. Another example of my inability to follow through on things lately.

I just received a phone call in which the person said, "Hi... I don't need you." It's nice that users can resolve their own issues, but a little disheartening to get that phone call right now.

Slow to knit

2008-10-30T13:06:00.000-03:00

I don't normally get headaches, but today my head hurts. The party went well last night, but Chicago rehearsals ran late and no one could come afterward.

Since I restarted my knitting in spring, it's been a slow process. The blanket took a long time and I didn't have anything else on the go at the same time. I'm looking at projects that my friends are doing or have done and I am behind as far as skills go. I hope the combination of knitting club and being around other knitters will help bring my skills up. I guess it's just the usual for me: scared to try new things in case I screw them up. What I need to keep in mind is that screwing up knitting is not something to be afraid of, geesh. I am not sure why I've turned into this person who is wary of trying new things, but I need to work on it.

That being said, I still want to knit a simple blanket for Regan's baby. Maybe I'll try something more complicated on a smaller scale first.

Since I have 10 minutes

2008-10-28T13:51:00.002-03:00

I'll slap up a blog.

I haven't been blogging much lately, not out of lack of desire, but lack of time. Since I'm not good at short versions of stories, I haven't felt like I've had enough time to blog. Today I decided to get something posted even if it doesn't cover all that I want it to.

Work has been very busy for me. It's not a blogging topic, so I can't go into detail, but I've been a bit overwhelmed. I did manage to hire some more help starting this week, so I am hoping that will take some of the pressure off. Work seems to be encompassing most of my life these days, or at least it feels that way.

What else am I up to? I finished the baby blanket I was knitting for my new nephew. I wasn't totally pleased with how it turned out, only because of its size. It ended up being too wide, a mistake I made by casting on too many stitches to begin with. Once you make that mistake, you either keep going or start all over again. I didn't realize the magnitude of the mistake until later and ended up making it a lot larger than it needed to be. The good part is that I know for next time, it should be approx 60 sts and 150 rows. That should be a good sized blanket using the same yarn.

I'd like to continue with knitting and increase my skills, so I joined a knitting club at the library. The club is a bit disorganized; they're not quite sure what structure it should take, but I do like having more experienced knitters beside me to help. I got a lot out of the book I have, but nothing is a substitute for hands-on assistance. My next project is a scarf for myself, which I started a couple of years ago but put away because I ended up making it too wide. I ripped it out and started over again on the drive back from Montreal last week.

Speaking of which, John, Dad and I drove to Montreal last weekend to attend my nephew's baptism. It was a 9h drive, through the US. We left Friday and came back on Sunday, so a lot of driving for one day's worth of activities. I was pretty wiped, but glad to see my family. I didn't get the chance to call Lisa while I was there though, which I feel bad about. I need to catch up with my friends who have moved. I've been so busy with things and I need to catch up with them on how they're doing.

I guess my 10 min are up... gotta get back to work. Tonight I need to prepare for pumpkin carving, which is tomorrow. I don't like having it on a weeknight, but since Friday is Halloween and you can't carve a pumpkin a week in advance and expect it to last, Wednesday seemed like the best answer.

The only cool thing

2008-09-28T16:05:00.002-03:00

about the new version of Knight Rider was something most of the people I know wouldn't have noticed. John and I were catching up on some TV last night and watched the season premiere of Knight Rider. KITT goes back to his hideout, and all of a sudden I see:

Melissa: "Was that...?"
John: "Yes"

They used the former blimp hangars in Tustin (next door to Irvine) as Knight Industries' HQ. Cool!! We used to drive right by these on our way to Sam's Club, the best place to go right after your wedding™. They recently built a brand new shopping area next to the hangars and I also shopped there on the last few visits.

The rest of the episode basically sucked, was cheesy, and the fact that KITT is now a Transformer is really silly. He turns into a truck? UGH.

Seeing the blimp hangar in the episode though was pretty cool. John often comments on how alien worlds, other planets, or Star Trek fight sequences seem to take place in or around 29 Palms. I finally got to participate in recognizing something familiar.

First Lady fashion

2008-09-10T17:05:00.001-03:00

A recent estimate of the outfit worn by Cindy McCain at the Republican National Convention totaled approximately $313,000.

$313,000.

Let that sink in for a minute.

I wonder what would happen if the potential First Lady was forced to get her wardrobe only from Target?

John talks about his plan to run for president some day, which I usually pretend he's not serious about, but maybe I should reconsider. If I was First Lady, I could force designers to make narrow shoes.

Fortune telling weather update

2008-09-08T17:27:00.000-03:00

The conference I'll be attending in less than 2 weeks is in the Florida Keys, popular destination if you're a hurricane. I received an email today from the conference hosts entitled "weather update". I laughed. It made me wonder if they had some secret way of predicting the weather.

The email basically said they were keeping an eye on things, as is the resort, and that the resort has an extensive evacuation and disaster recovery plan. That isn't very comforting.

Here's what I know for sure: if there appears to be a hurricane headed for the Keys right before I leave, I won't be getting on that plane, evacuation plan or not. I think my company would prefer I stay alive over forfeiting some plane tickets and fees. At least until I start/finish documenting my job functions. :)

Cassel in the sand

2008-09-08T17:20:00.001-03:00

Tom Brady is now out for the rest of the season. Some find this good news, as there seems to be a hate on for the Pats after last year's undefeated regular season and "spygate". Being a Pats fan, I am obviously disappointed. I wonder what the rest of the season will bring.

It wasn't that long ago that Brady was a young rookie, and the fact that he won a Super Bowl, with some help from Drew Bledsoe, was a major accomplishment. Winning that first Super Bowl launched his career into high gear. Matt Cassel may not look like Brady on the field, but I think he deserves a chance. Everyone has to start somewhere, and this is now Cassel's chance. He played better in game 1 than he did in the preseason, perhaps one of those instances where being in the real situation rather than a practice ups your game.

Good luck, Matt. Bring your A game. No one expects you to be Brady, or have an undefeated season, but get us some wins and we'll support you.

Subtle

2008-09-04T13:30:00.000-03:00

It's subtle, but I get the feeling it has begun. Changes are being made, and I don't agree with them. Two significant (to me) changes recently. I wonder what's next?

A friend of mine always says that if you don't make a decision, the decision will be made for you. I have a feeling that process is starting... which means I need to start thinking more seriously.

Sqeak

2008-08-26T09:04:00.001-03:00

Last weekend, while John and Stew were installing the satellite dish, they walked up to the back basement door and discovered a dead mouse lying in the middle of the stone area. Why was it there?

· Someone is trying to pull a Godfather on me, and is leaving me a sign

· The mice are mobilizing and have gone from my office to my house

· The mouse jumped from the retaining wall and didn’t make it

· A cat left us a “present”

The last option sounds the most plausible. We’ve been getting visits from a neighbourhood cat who has taken a liking to John (most cats love John). She may have decided to leave us a present as thanks for the scratching. Frankly, cat, I’d prefer a bottle of wine, even though I don’t drink. Given the placement of the mouse, it seems odd for it to have just walked up and died right there. We think it was either left there as a present, or an animal intended to come back and get it later.

I’m really glad I wasn’t the one to discover it; that would have been a bad scene. I just hope this isn’t a recurring pattern. I’ve been living mouse-free since I moved out of the apartment and the Great Mouse Invasion of ’04. Having them at the office is bad enough, but that will end next month with our new office building. I need to pay extra special attention when bringing the wood in this year that we don’t have any unexpected bonus gifts.