Tuesdays are not good

I don't know what's up with me & Tuesdays, but lately we do not get along. So far this Tuesday is much better than the last two, but I still have a cloud hanging over my head. I had a meeting uptown today, and it ended around lunchtime, and I had to go to the bank to get some US $ for my trip. Unfortunately my ex works in the same building as my bank, and it being lunchtime, I was running the risk of bumping into him. Thankfully I didn't, but the possibility of running into him set me on edge. I was glad to be out of there and back to my normal surroundings.

I just had someone interrupt my lunch to ask me a question about something I knew nothing about, and they looked at me like I am supposed to know everything. I'll have to make sure to go interrupt this person's lunch tomorrow and ask them to discuss class C networks with me. I'm on lunch, dammit! Have some respect!

I started packing on Sunday for my trip. I continued last night, thankfully having tried a few things on before blindly putting them in the suitcase and getting there only to realize they don't fit. So much for bringing the nice summer suit. I'm trying to be frugal to allow room for shopping, but there are also certain things I have to take with me. For instance, I have to pack my hair dryer, seeing as how my bf doesn't have much of a need to own one of those. Have to pack shorts in case it does get hot, and other things in case it doesn't. I think I may have shrunk a pair of pants in the wash yesterday but I'm not positive, and that is bothering me. I hate following directions on an item of clothing only to have it backfire. If you do what you're supposed to do, why be punished?

Anyway, the packing continues tonight & tomorrow night. Spreading it out allows me to remember things I might otherwise forget and I can be more discerning. I won't have time on Thursday night to do a whole lot as I have to work until likely 10pm getting everything done before I go. It will be nice not to travel with a laptop this time. I decided not to take it with me, I really need the separation from work and I can use John's PC for my checking email, blogging, etc.

3 more sleeps to go.

Happy Birthday

to Jay and T-L!

Yawn

I have had a long week and boy am I looking forward to the weekend. I've basically only had 1 day off in the last two weeks... and yet still people are asking me if I have certain things completed yet. Um, no. Now go away.

I am sooooo sleeping in tomorrow morning. Watch, I'll wake up with 7am insomnia.

I still have another long week ahead of me as I try and get everything done before vacation. I often think vacation isn't worth the taking, judging by the amount of work that piles up while you're gone and sits on your desk, awaiting your return. This time, however, I don't care what awaits me on my return - I need this vacation.

I've been plowing through the reading at night, mainly as a way to give my mind a solid break from work. I finished Little White Lies (predictable and boring). Then I moved on to Something Borrowed, actually a decent book even if the premise is man-stealing. The sequel, Something Blue, continues the story but from an opposing point of view. I may pick that up when it comes out on paperback.

After that I picked up Shopaholic & Sister. I enjoyed the previous Shopaholic books, but this one was terrible. Becky was just too dumb this time around. This being book 4, you start to wonder when she's going to smarten up: you want to slap her upside the head and tell her to stop running up debt already. The premise is getting old. The book ended with an obvious hint at a sequel. Not sure if I want a 5th book.

Next on the list I decided I needed a break from romance chicklit and am switching to mystery chicklit with 'Til Death Do Us Part.

Must start packing this weekend. Wonder what the temperature will be? From the long-term forecast, it looks like I'll basically have summer in SJ type-weather. Minus the fog :)

Better

Ok, now I am no longer in the dark tunnel, lying on the tracks, resigned that I will never see light at the end. I kept walking and today I saw some light, finally; an indication that things are going to get better. They really weren't going to get much worse than Tuesday. I had a meeting today that will be the start of a lot of changes. I am so tired from this week that I am not as excited about it as I should be, but once I get this project out of the way (which will eat up most of my weekend) I'll be in a better state to celebrate. So to work I say: thanks for noticing I need help.

I'd also like to thank my boyfriend, who had to put up with some crazy rants from me the other night about retirement savings, work issues, and how I need to win the lottery. Thanks for your advice and support, and most of all your love. Did I mention how great that shelf is? What a great shelf. You really do make everything in my life go more smoothly - literally and figuratively.

Feelings

Exhausted
Defeated
Worn down
Tired
Upset
Angry
Frustrated
Unimportant
Out of breath
Busy
Sad
Disbelief
Overloaded
Lack of interest
Lack of motivation
Thankless
Non-priority

The grind

There seems to be a lot of blog apathy going around. People seem to be running out of things to say. I myself have not been as quick to update my site as usual. A lot of that has to do with my seemingly never-ending work schedule. Looks like I'll be working at least half of next weekend, actually... better make the most out of this weekend. Have I mentioned I really need a vacation? Help may be on the way, however, as someone has finally noticed how bogged down I've been.

Haven't been up to much, really. Basically a rotating schedule of work, come home, start stove, make/eat supper, read book or watch DVD, chat with John, go to bed. Repeat. I've been reading Lost & Found this week, and should finish it up tonight. The premise is similar to Can You Keep A Secret? but much less enjoyable. I'll be glad to move on to the next book, which I think will be Little White Lies. Lots o' chick lit.

Also been watching a bit of my Star Trek Season 1 DVD. Watched both parts of "The Menagerie" with additional text commentary. A little too much filler in the text commentary if you ask me... science-related comments that didn't really have anything to do with the episode. This episode centered around Spock taking over the Enterprise to get former Captain Christopher Pike back to Talos IV, a planet forbidden to visit by Starfleet. Spock gets in trouble, court marshalled, and then you end up seeing a great deal of the original pilot of the series (with Majel Barrett (credited as M. Leigh Hudec) as Number One, even). Supposedly one of the most popular episodes in the series. The text commentary that did relate to the story was neat. The aliens weren't originally supposed to be humanoid, but ended up that way due to budget constraints. The original pilot cost a ton of money as it was, so the re-use of it along with some new footage saved the day. Looking forward to getting the other two seasons.

Garfield & Friends Season 4 arrived today, thanks to a gift card and a $10 off plea from a late xmas delivery a la Chapters. A bit of nostalgia for myself, I am a Garfield fan. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for the never-ending Klopman diamond gag and Binky the Clown screaming "HEYYYYYYYYY KIDS!" Returned the other of my extra copies of Vertigo tour. Got Garfield Season 5. Only 2 more seasons yet to be released.

Really enjoying the XM Satellite Radio. Since I spend most of the time listening to the 80s station, I do hear some repeats every few days, but nothing that's driven me crazy yet. Most notable repeat has been Fine Young Cannibals' "Don't Look Back", which I've heard 4 times now. Can't say as I've heard "She Drives Me Crazy" yet though. Odd choice of repeat. I've been listening intently for songs I don't know, or ones I literally haven't heard since the 80s, and I finally heard one the other night that fit that category - "State of Shock" by The Jacksons and Mick Jagger. I'd totally forgotten that song had even existed. Crazy! Jay, do you know that one? Anyway, really enjoying the radio. Haven't tried it out in the car yet, as I have only been driving around the city. It will come in handy on my next trip to Moncton, and my trip to SoCal where I'll have to spend 2.5-3h in the car during rush hour in LA on a Friday. If that doesn't make me love SJ, I don't know what will.

I did make a couple of decisions over the past week. I officially decided to quit belly dancing, due to the fact that I've been receiving zero enjoyment out of this session. Unfortunate, but I'm not going to keep paying for something I don't find fun anymore.

I also officially stepped down from the Finance Committee at my church. I felt guilty doing that (as any Catholic would) but I felt it was time, after serving for 4 years. I spent last year in the position of Chair, really because no one else wanted the duty. I never had any time to schedule meetings, go over financial statements, etc. Not only that, but I really got to a point where I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. I've been nowhere near accounting for 5 years now, and when you don't use the knowledge you have, it can fly away from your brain fairly quickly. I just had an overwhelming sense of being "too young" for the position, if that makes any sense. My church is coming to a point where we will have to transfer leadership in 5 months, and I didn't feel like I was the person to lead us financially. Lazy? Maybe. But if I don't have the drive to do the job, better I step down and let someone else take my place. The problem is, attendance is down, which means even fewer people want to have anything to do with church administration. Thus why I felt guilty... but that doesn't change the fact that I felt like I didn't know what I was doing.

I think I have come to the point yet again of having to reformat my hard drive. I didn't do it in the fall as I had planned, delaying the inevitable in some hope I'd be buying a new PC. The money for that just isn't in the cards right now, so it's time I do the reformat. When you work with PCs all day, the last thing you want to do is come home and work on your own. I guess that will be my weekend project... argh. I did get a free present today though from Aliant - a new high speed dsl modem/wireless router. Free was the only way I was going to invest in a wireless router. So I have that to set up as well, and while the wireless option will not be my main source of internet connectivity, it will be nice to have in a pinch when I bring a laptop home from work.

Off to finish the book and start another.

Damn.

Being back on my own, I decided to plow ahead and spend my evenings reading this week, especially since I have had a couple of books on loan since the summer/fall. Lent to me by Mare, I finished The Da Vinci Code, a fun, fast read, and I found myself looking forward to the upcoming movie. I found it easy to get engrossed in, which is exactly the reason I like to read: I forget about my surroundings, and envision the plot, characters and scenes in my head. I now understand why the book has been released again as an illustrated version. Not really knowing anything about art or Da Vinci's works, it would have helped to have had pictures right there to refer to when the paintings were described. Yeah, I could have jumped up and gone to the Interweb, but I was comfy on the couch and didn't want to put the book down. So if you haven't read this one yet, get the illustrated version.

Next I picked up the other book that was loaned to me, this one by Scott M, Kevin Murphy's A Year At The Movies. Kevin Murphy operated Tom Servo on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and wrote a book about his year of going to a movie every day. An interesting read so far, I am about 2/3 through. I especially took notice of the part where he did the drive-in tour of southern California, and stopped at the Smith's Ranch Drive-In, located in none other than Twentynine Palms, CA - hometown of my desert rat boyfriend, whose Dad still lives there. 29 has a population of 25,000 people, which, hey, makes SJ look large. Smith's Ranch is the only movie theatre in town, a fact which I would like to confirm with aforementioned bf, but his internet connection is currently down, which is why I am writing a blog right now instead of chatting. Like we need any more time apart. Grrrr. Anyway, on with the blog.

Kevin also mentions the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood as being one of his most favourite theatres. Hmmm, I thought to myself. I want to spend a day doing touristy LA things, maybe I should make this a stop since we both love movies and I do have a fondness for things Egyptian. So I looked up the schedule on the internet to see what would be playing while I'm there. The schedule for February isn't up yet, but the schedule for this month is. I started reading what was on in January just for fun, when I realized I was missing a Hitchcock festival. Hitchcock. On the big screen. I am going to cry now. I can't believe I'm just missing this. Not that I will be actually in Hollywood the whole time. But still. What a treat it would be to see any Hitchcock film in a theatre.

Ah, bf is back. Let the chatting begin.

Ow, hot

I said this morning as I jumped right back into the frying pan at work. 1 month to vacation, and boy do I need it.

I managed to make it through to the security call for John's plane before I started to cry. Not bad. I was still busy working this morning before we left so that kept me distracted. Once the security call comes though, you know time's up. You see the pain and sadness in the eyes staring back at you and wonder how 2 weeks can go by so quickly.

It gets harder every time, and you try to placate yourself by looking forward to the next visit, but that doesn't help much. But, I've made my choice. I have to deal with the crappy parts and suck it up - life won't go on hold for me to cry for a couple of hours.

Decisions are going to have to be made soon, as I don't think either of us want to go through the lengthy time apart scenarios much longer. Coming home to a font just isn't the same. It will be an interesting year, that's for sure. One of us will have to move to another country, and I honestly don't know which one of us that will be. I still haven't been there yet, and with the growing frustration in my job and lack of education to go with it, I may be better off leaving here. I don't know. It's a lot to think about, and I have to start the thought process.