I've been spending a lot of time this month in cemeteries, fulfilling photo requests on findagrave.com. If you're ever in a position where you have to choose a headstone and you want it to last, don't opt for a flat, horizontal stone. I've seen so many that have grown over. Those stones don't seem to get as much care as the others and I'm pretty sure some of the stones I've searched for have been swallowed up by nature. It seems incredibly sad to me to place a monument of remembrance for someone, only to have it disappear. Obviously money is an issue: headstones are expensive. But if you are able to stretch the budget, try to go for something upright. Nothing lasts forever, but at least it has a better shot.
I've had lots of trips to cemeteries from a young age. Grammy used to take us for walks through Fernhill and Shaarei Zedek when we were visiting for longer stretches of time. When going up country with Nana, we would always stop at the Astle Cemetery where her parents were buried, to check on the stone and clean around it if needed. Cemeteries were just another place until people close to me died. When Nana died, cemeteries became sad. I've been trying to reverse that feeling by remembering that it's just the physical vessel that is buried; the soul endures.
My recent trips have yielded both happiness and sadness. Sadness for the state of a neglected cemetery with stones falling over and the text wiped away by weather and time. Happiness that I'm able to provide photos for someone who doesn't live near here, and for finding stones that someone cared enough to repair and re-place.
Rest in peace.
