Just ain't like it used to be

My flight to Montreal was uneventful. Not being able to take water on the plane really sucks as all that Air Canada gives you is a small glass, about 2/3 full. Going to be a very dehydrating day. I hate forcing liquid into me in a rush in the terminal before boarding, so I've avoided buying any bottles of liquid.

I stopped in the food court and had a burger, knowing that my choices were limited once I got past customs and security. By the time I finished, my luggage was waiting for me and the line for connecting passengers was pretty much non-existent. I got up to the customs agent, preparing for the inevitable dumb questions they ask whenever you have to check off that the purpose of your trip is business. She asked me where I was going, for how long, cutting me off as I spoke. She asked what the conference was for. I replied, it's for our point-of-sale software. She said she was confused and didn't understand. I told her it was a user group to discuss software. She then asked where the software was developed. I replied Nashua, NH. She gives me another confused look and says, in the US? Apparently this agent has never heard of New Hampshire. She then asked me if I was traveling by myself and let me go through.

The luggage guys in Montreal all seem to like me when I come through. I can always count on them to give me a smile and do the heavy lifting.

I proceed back through security, behind people staring at the items you can no longer take in your carry-on as though it were a shopping opportunity. I get up to the scan area and do the usual removal of shoes, unearthing of laptop from bag, and getting it all on the belt, hoping they wouldn't search both my laptop and bag like they did in SJ. My shoes and laptop came through fine, but my bag sat just beyond the gate for a good 2-3 minutes. I could see it, but I know the rule about not grabbing things until they're free of the barriers. Waiting, waiting, ok now it's coming through. I grab it but then the security guy grabs it from me for searching, after hugging and kissing his co-worker. The guy says to me, you don't look too happy about that. Well, NO SHIT, JACKASS. Do you think I'm happy to have you go through my stuff? Do you think I'm happy to not be able to take a simple bottle of water with me while I travel? Or remove my shoes? Or take out my laptop? Or have all this take extra time because as the guard, you could have taken my bag and searched it instead of smooching your co-worker? This is so much fun! YAY! Outside voice told the Jackass that my expression was because I was tired and he could search through anything he wanted.

I long for the good old days of air travel. Security is a necessary part of today's air travel, I have to agree. However, there must be a better way than having to beam with the sunshiniest smile I've got at the prospect of being searched. "You bet you sure can search through my stuff! I love it!"

My heart-on-sleeve tendencies don't help me in the least. Gotta work on my poker face.