Crankiness

I'm particularly cranky today, mostly self-induced.

It started last night when I berated myself for not calling a contact regarding a doctor for John sooner than yesterday. I'm frustrated with myself for not just picking up the phone and doing it earlier. It was a simple phone call, the contact seemed to have no problem helping. I was scared to make the call because I wasn't sure if the contact would recall who I was from just a voicemail message, so I had to use my maiden name. I also hate leaving voicemails, as I usually end up sounding like a rambling idiot, even if I do have a script to work with. In my own defense, I did email the contact about 5 weeks ago, only to be told later that he doesn't check his email very often.

We've been having a recurring problem with various kids walking and/or riding bikes across our yard. John caught a couple of them biking across the yard last night, so he yelled out to them to not do it. The neighbor next door responded by saying "sorry, I told them to." This is the same neighbor with whom I already had a conversation asking her to speak to her son about not cutting through our yard. Now all the kid knows is "mom thinks it's ok" so we'll never get them to stop. We also recently had a parent accompany their child to cut through our yard, which teaches the child that it's ok to trespass on our property.

I'm sick and tired of being the central walkway for the neighborhood. I pay my property taxes and that means I get to decide what goes on on my property. Streets and sidewalks are for transportation, my backyard is not. I often feel in life that I am stepped on, ignored, and pushed aside. Having people walk all over my yard feels like another version of walking all over me. They have no respect for me; if they did, they'd ask permission or just not do it. Other than posting signs and possibly gathering evidence to take someone to court, I don't really have any recourse. We can fence our property, but given the size of it, that would cost a lot of money.

What I am particularly concerned about is whether we'll get any pranks tonight, especially after catching those kids last night. I'm not much in the mood to hand out free candy to all of the kids who walk across our yard, so it's put a damper on Halloween for me this year.

I got in to work this morning and lots of people are dressed up for Halloween. I'm annoyed with myself for not putting in the effort to get a costume this year. Every year for the past few I have said, this is the year I'll make the effort and get a costume idea and have it come to fruition. Another example of my inability to follow through on things lately.

I just received a phone call in which the person said, "Hi... I don't need you." It's nice that users can resolve their own issues, but a little disheartening to get that phone call right now.