Drained

I've been having a particularly stressful time since, well, the basement flood, really. Following the flood was work stress in one area, then John hurting his back, the usual Christmas stress, and since the beginning of the year more work stress in another area, John hurting his back again, concern about my health, and a relentless, punishing winter. This morning we shoveled and snow-blowed another 4' of drifts in our driveway. I also had a work meeting that had been building up and bothering me, and I got through it today fairly successfully, considering the topic. Between those two events today, I'm drained. But I'm committed to keeping up with my Zumba schedule, and think the exercise will help relieve the stress I've been feeling leading up to today. Or at least give me an hour's worth of distraction.

Lately I've been unable to feel like I'm getting a good night's rest. Sleep is never a problem for me, it's the quality that's the issue. I may have gotten 7-8h of uninterrupted sleep, but I still wake up feeling like a zombie.  In the evenings, when I'm trying to enjoy my free time, thoughts of the work stresses creep in and spoil my mood.  Yesterday I worked from home due to the impending storm. Many friends were sent home early and had some extra relaxing time, but I felt since I was already working from home, I'd better work until my normal time, so I did. I still didn't get as much done as I wanted. I wondered whether I should go back downstairs and work some more.

The hard part is knowing that the work stress ebbs & flows, but is far from over. This will be a year of changes that I don't want, but will have to find a way to accept and move forward.  The uncertainty of how it's going to pan out is only part of the problem.  I'm trying to deal with it based on the information I have now and get through each day, but I can't ignore that sound of the train horn nearby either. And that's wearing on me too.

I'm leaving for a meeting in just over a week. I'll be glad for the change in scenery, and to be somewhere where I won't have to shovel snow. But often when I leave, something happens to make things worse. I was contemplating a few days of vacation before the meeting, but had to cancel. I wouldn't have had fun anyway, I would have just worried about what went on while I was gone.  I'll only be gone for 3 working days. Hopefully in that time, things can stay normal.