You need to keep perspective

Covid-19 is not the end of the world. It seems to mean that we can't have nice things, but in relative terms, we're not bad off. Some have compared these times to war time. I think that's too extreme a comparison. We're not getting our homes bombed out or surviving on rations. A lot of people are safely ensconced in their homes, only leaving when necessary. Other than the initial run on toilet paper, we have enough food and supplies. Granted, the "we" I am referring to are mostly white people. There are others who are afraid of losing their rented homes because they're out of work and can't pay their rent. Or they can't afford food. Or both.

It's so frustrating to see white idiots on TV protesting wearing a mask. Masks are one of the easiest, non-invasive ways to prevent the virus from spreading. Canada is not immune; we have our own section of mask objectors. I'm guessing they are also people who can safely go home and not worry about rent or food at the end of the day. Otherwise they wouldn't be out protesting in the first place.

Things suck right now for pretty much everyone. Nobody is having a good time, and everyone's plans are wrecked. Please just keep in mind that it could be worse, that this will end eventually, and provide help to others when you can.

Sometimes I just go and sit

I'm having one of those phases where I'm sad. Not for any one specific reason, though 2020 is enough all on its own. I'm melancholy. It's the type of time where you know if you could just have a gut-heaving cry, you'd probably feel better afterward. One of the side effects of the meds I am taking is that crying doesn't come as easily as it used to.

Knowing I was already sad, I decided to stop by and sit. Even though you can hear traffic, it's still SJ-level traffic and not that loud. Just the general sounds of a neighborhood around you. But the overall feeling is still one of peace and safety.

The paint on the front doors is peeling. There are pieces of shingles lying on the steps. Two of the stained glass windows have been boarded up, hopefully not because they were broken. I probably would have heard that if it had happened, though; word gets around in the Catholic community. The graveyard and shrine are still being looked after, likely by the school.

You can't go inside, but it wouldn't be the same anyway. The surviving church in our area took out anything of value. The pews were given to a church up north which had burned down but they're rebuilding. The organ found a new home.

From what I can tell, they're letting the rest of it crumble. I haven't heard any news on what they plan to do with it or the grounds, though I was told that the graveyard would be untouched. I'm not sure what I would hate more: watching it crumble, or watching it be demolished.

For now, it's still there, and it's still a place to find some peace when I need it.

Stop. Just stop.

Every so often, someone in my feed posts about St. Peter's. And then all the usual comments show up. 

 

"If people would just go to church, they wouldn't have to close." -- Well, yes, but times are changing. People don't want to go anymore. There's not going to be a miraculous regeneration of people coming to church. Crappy, but fact.

 

"There's nothing sad about another church closing; that's all I will say about that." followed by that person saying more, and the usual pro- and anti-religious retorts.

 

"OMG, the Catholic church is closing?" -- Uh yeah, it was two years ago, where were you when we needed you?

 

I'm still hurting. A lot. The closure was devastating to me. It was like a combination of losing your home and your family at the same time. Every time this comes up, I'm reminded of the loss. It's tiring. Especially when the comments just appear at random and I didn't have time to dodge them.