Interesting commentary

I read through all of your comments as they came in this afternoon. It's easier to tell someone else to "go for it" than it is to actually do it yourself, isn't it, especially coming from those of you who are currently attached and comfortable in your relationships. It's still a crazy world out there for us single people. I find it funny that most of the comments coming back at me were ones telling me I should "go for it" or "at least go for coffee", when I had already decided the answer was going to be no. I had already started drafting the reply when I posted that entry (granted work and choosing the right words kept me from sending it until about 4:30).

Points taken on immediate sparks. However, I believe there has to be some kind of level of interest in order to do anything. I'm not sure that stating you only want friendship and then continuing to hang out with the person is the right way to go for someone you've just met and has expressed an interest in more than friendship. I think it gives the person a sense that there's still a chance, "well, maybe I can change her mind". I just don't feel that way, and I don't want to give that impression. I have a strong sense of not wanting to investigate this, and I don't want to waste anyone's time with false hopes over coffee, even if the term friendship is thrown around at every juncture.

The vision I was having of thinking about this person in anything more than a professional respect just brought one word to mind: "ew". Think of it as dating your friend's 45 year-old uncle. This is the vision stuck in my head. I suck at judging ages, so I don't know if he's even that age, probably not, but it's just the impression in my head. I don't intend for this to sound mean, I am just trying to describe my impression of the situation, so this is why I had an immediate answer of no. So yes, I wrote and let him down as nicely as possible.

Maybe I'm superficial. I haven't been in the past, none of my exes would be described by the general public as being "hot". But you just get a picture of two people in your head, and sometimes it looks right, and sometimes it just seems way off. This is one of those way off times. Could I picture this person hanging out with us at karaoke? Watching movies? etc? It just did not work in my head, it seemed so out of place. There is no physical attraction there whatsoever.

For me, being "asked out" or finding out that someone is interested in me happens so rarely that part of me feels like if I don't accept whatever comes along, I don't have any right to complain about being alone. But it all comes back to that issue of settling. I have set things that I want. One of those things is finding someone roughly my age. I guess there is always room for exceptions, it's just that this person did not interest me enough to break outside of that range.

There is also that whole part about my self-confidence not being so great. I promised myself that I would get better at that before thinking of starting another relationship. As they say, how can you love someone else when you don't even love yourself? So I need more time with that. It's funny, I was actually reflecting to myself in the shower this morning how great it was that there was no one else around to mess up my stuff, or have to split bathroom time with. I am in liking-being-alone mode again. It's a phase, I am sure it will pass :P

You just never know what's going to happen from one day to the next.