Sunday, October 30, 2011

It's probably me that's the problem

Tonight was the pumpkin carving party -- my 9th. Every year I seem to push myself to make it as "perfect" as I can. I bake more, I decorate more, I clean more. This year I put in a crap-ton of effort: 2 straight out days of cleaning, baking, and setup, on top of the shopping, preparing, and decorating I've been doing all month. I enjoy it, but I wouldn't go to all this effort for just myself.

Based on the replies to my invitation, I figured I had about 20 people coming this year. Seemingly more than usual. That made me very happy, as well as concerned that I'd have enough snacks for everyone. I'm of the belief that if you throw a party where you tell people you're providing food, you do more than just chips in a bowl. So, I shopped and baked accordingly.

How many people actually showed up? 9. Those 9 people were quite happy to be here, but I couldn't help but be disappointed about the other 11 who were sick, had to back out for stated reasons, or just plain didn't show up or notify me. To top that off, the weather was particularly bad today, and that likely encouraged people to stay home.

I will grant you that I am a bit too focused on the people who weren't here vs the happy people who did come and enjoyed themselves. I'm not angry at anyone: shit happens, I get that. Maybe I just try to do too much, try to make it too special. Or maybe people just don't get how much work and effort I put into making this a fun event. Maybe if they knew that, they wouldn't just not show up.

The question is: do I put in less effort next time, knowing that I expect too much of people?