Don't hate on other people's fun

Inevitably, around the Super Bowl, people seem to need to announce to the world that they don't like/understand/care about football. Ok, sure, it's not for everyone. I assume it generates the level of hate it does because it's over-hyped. I have no control over that. But in the spirit of announcing to the world the sports we don't like, I hate baseball, don't care about hockey, soccer is boring, and basketball is full of flopping.

I'm human. I make mistakes. I can't claim I've never done this, in fact, I'm sure I have. The thing is, I'm trying harder now to be conscious of it and not do it.

And if you need any more convincing:

“The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for… like being excited about something.” - @Taylor Swift

Unpopular opinion: Facebook avatars

The cartoony Facebook avatars are creepy. They don't actually look like any of the people they're supposed to be representing (though the closest one I've seen is my husband's.) I cringe and faux-vomit every time I see one. I don't comment on them to the people who use them because I don't want to wreck their fun. I just personally can't stand them.

Irrelevancy on a resume

Am I the only one who thinks putting a volunteer stint you did over 14 years ago on your resume is irrelevant? All that does it point out that you haven't volunteered for years and anything you did that many years ago may not even be the same, if you even remember how to do it. Plus it's especially egregious when it has absolutely nothing to do with the job you're applying for. It's like telling me how you volunteered at a soup kitchen 16 years ago but you're now applying for a job as a truck driver. You can jump through as many hoops as you want to tell me how those two are related, but if I'm hiring someone, I only care if your volunteer experience was more recent. Maybe since then you've become an asshole toward the homeless and want to run them over as part of your new truck driving duties?

TL;DR: don't include volunteering that isn't recent on your resume.

The uncomfortablity of learning

Article: Learning Is Supposed to Feel Uncomfortable 

I wrote the UFE twice, in the summer of 2000 and 2001. I failed both times. That failure meant a pivot for my whole career, and led me to a period of darkness because I was now a HUGE FAILURE.

When I think back to my career between 2001-2014, I have at least one big regret -- not continuing to learn. I leaned so much into my "self-taught IT" status that I partially used it as an excuse for not knowing what to train in, where to begin, where to go, etc. I did have a problem figuring things out, but I could have taken something, ANYTHING. I pigeon-holed myself. Sure, I was great at this one small POS system, but it was very niche and difficult to find another job with that specific a skill. I also didn't know how to translate that into anything that made me sound hirable.

After that many years in the job, the decisions management made, and my own personal crises, I was miserable and on the verge of a breakdown. I let it get bad enough that something had to give. I knew I needed some more marketable skills, but I didn't (and still don't, really) know what I want to be when I grow up. My younger brother had gotten his PMP, it was all the rage at the time and would be something substantial to show a big effort on my resume. I had to do *something*, take some kind of move to make things be less miserable. And no, I didn't come to this conclusion on my own.

I started off in Oct 2014 taking a course in IT Project Management, just to get a feel for what it would be about. That went well enough. I wasn't sure that I wanted to be a full-time project manager, but it was visible and prestigious enough to get my resume noticed and maybe get my foot in the door. As a bonus I could actually learn something useful along the way. Needing to keep the ball rolling, I signed up for a PMP bootcamp in Toronto for a week.

Keep in mind that studying is my superpower. I am an excellent student. I can study and pass anything (except the UFE). This boot camp had someone in tears in the women's bathroom at least once every day, me included. I even went back to the hotel room at night and cried and/or freaked out. My younger brother came to visit me and I think that might be the only time he's ever seen me in that bad shape (he has a lot of health issues, I was used to seeing him as the one in trouble). I got to the end of the week, and the instructor identified me as one of the people who could write the exam soon and pass. I took that as a green light.

I wanted to keep the momentum, so I set a goal of writing the exam by the end of February. I didn't have kids or major responsibilities, so I was able to dedicate my non-working hours to studying. The actual sit down with textbooks and paper and no distractions type of studying. While my husband got to sit upstairs and watch TV. Every night I had to go downstairs and study and stick to my timeline. It was hard. I cried more than once. I didn't think I could do it. A lot of times I regretted ever deciding to do this in the first place; there was no guarantee that I would get a better job out of it and I didn't even want to be a full-time PM. I still had to go to work during the day, which was a miserable place to be by then, and then spend every night studying.

Back before Covid hit and many things were made available online, the PMP exam had to be written in person at a testing centre. My closest choices were Halifax or Bangor. Given my history with Halifax, which contributed to my HUGE FAILURE last time, there was no way I was going to jinx this by going there. That left Bangor. So I booked the exam and my husband drove down with me. The day we drove down was a snowstorm, and we ended up stuck in a snowbank in Calais for a brief period of time, but thankfully it was in a well-traveled area and someone stopped to help. Here's hoping that's all the bad luck I was in for on this trip.

So much was riding on this exam. I felt that if I didn't pass it, I was going to have a huge hit to my ego. I hadn't done anything this major since the UFE, so if I failed again, I'm not sure what mental snap would have happened. Plus I literally did not know what else I could do to jumpstart my career. I put all my mental eggs into this one basket. It had to pay off.

Thankfully, it did. I passed. I got what I think was the equivalent of a C. I think it said I was "moderately competent" but the important thing was that I had passed and now had a credential to put after my name. By this point, I was adult enough to know that nobody cares what grade you got on a test anymore. I remember sitting at the stall and the PC displayed my results and I think I gasped.

The plan as a whole also worked. The PMP got me noticed by my current employer, who seemed to like my interview even though I wasn't as technical a person as they needed. Until 4 months ago, I was even still in that same job.

The experience was more than "uncomfortable," it was hell. I still don't quite know how I got through it successfully, other than I didn't have any room for failure, but as I had already experienced, sometimes it doesn't matter how hard I try. I studied and wrote the PMP exam in a 6 weeks while having mental health issues. That means even more if you've ever studied for and taken the PMP exam yourself.

Out of all of that, the lesson learned was to not stop learning. Don't be lazy and rely on what your current knowledge is, because that might become irrelevant. Don't be afraid to tackle something new and out of your comfort zone. You will look like a n00b and probably feel like an idiot. But we aren't born with every skill being innate. It was ok to be a kid and learn in school, it is still ok to be an adult learning, too. 

I promised myself after the PMP experience that I wouldn't leave a 14 year gap in learning, and I have kept that promise. My current employer doesn't require certifications, but I pushed myself to get them. It keeps me from being rusty with serious study mode, and it also helps solidify the information. Watching a video for me is in one ear, out the other. Last year had a lot of studying for me, I gained a cert in ITIL Foundation which was a fairly substantial one, and then participated in a Beta test for further ITIL courses that resulted in another cert toward the next ITIL level, whether I decide to pursue it or not, at least it's there.

I'm not sure what to plan for 2024, but at the very least I will keep myself engaged, attend some webinars, try to find something relevant to my new position. The key is to continue learning, pushing past that fear and uncomfortable sensation, and to try and make it both relevant and interesting.

The Gamble

Every day for almost 4 years now. Is today the day I lose the gamble and get Covid? Was it because I was out to lunch with co-workers? Will it be because I go out tomorrow? It feels inevitable, and I'll be the one to blame if my husband gets sick; he rarely leaves the house. What if I was too relaxed with my mask usage? It's on my mind daily, when will I lose this gamble? I keep going with what's been working, trying to be diligent. It's beyond exhausting, but I can't give up.

Grinds My Gears: Fairweather Work Friends

 

When you work with someone frequently, and chat regularly about things other than work, and you consider them your friend. Then you stop working with them, and you're the only one trying to maintain the friendship. Not going to lose sleep over it, but it's annoying. Should I not have wasted that time socializing if you were going to stop [actively] talking to me after you don't need anything from me anymore? Makes me feel kind of used, to be honest. Moving on.

Unpopular opinion: Sleeping baby photos

Unpopular opinion: Photos where babies are dressed up and posed while fast asleep are creepy. They're like the Victorian-era death photography. Creepy AF.

 

 

We're all criminals at the grocery stores now

This article has me thinking about the recent changes I've seen at my local grocery stores. All items removed from the front entry. Bars and gates installed inside to shuffle us through little openings like cattle. Increased security personnel and equipment. I'd like to see my local stores' actual numbers on shoplifting and whether there truly is an increase that justifies these changes. I think it has more to do with either a perceived problem with no data to back it up, and/or a problem that is happening in other parts of the country and the policies have been rolled out nationwide. My area is relatively small, and while I don't doubt that shoplifting exists, I have a hard time believing that it's bad enough to warrant the changes. What has happened as a result is that I feel like a criminal before even entering the store. They don't trust that the vast majority of their customer base is there to make legit purchases. It leaves me feeling very unwelcome going into Sobeys and Superstore now.

Scared

Another new year, and I begin it truly scared. 

There are at least 2 major wars going on in the world right now, neither with any signs of resolution anytime soon. The people who suffer are, as usual, the innocent by-standers while those who sit in their palaces give the orders. Makes me wish for the days when the king would be on the battlefield.

To the south of me, 2024 is an election year. A voter described the election choices as "...probably the most uniquely horrible choice I’ve had in my life." -- Andrew Collins of Windham, ME. Hyperbole? Yeah. But he nailed the sentiment that I believe a lot of Americans are feeling. To me the choice is very clear: you either want democracy or you don't. What I can say is this: No one is in the booth with you when you vote. If you have told everyone how supportive you are of the Orange Goblin, but get to the booth and just can't do it, then mark your conscience. No one will ever know. Do what's right for the country, not for the guy with the spray tan who will "only be a dictator on Day 1."

In my own country, it's like watching the train coming and no one is moving out of the way. Our choices aren't much better than our neighbors', but that's only a slight temperance given how a lot of politicians are getting the playbooks from what's going on in the US. Poilievre will likely win the next election mostly due to hate for Trudeau. Trudeau won't get his head out of his ass and realize that stepping down from the party leadership is the only way to ensure the Liberals have a chance at winning the next election (thankfully not until 2025). Even the constituents are spouting US/Republican rhetoric up here. A few miles away, a Christian conservative candidate was nominated to run in the next provincial election.

No one with any power, money, or both cares enough about climate change to actually slow it down.

Oh, and hey! There's still a pandemic going on, despite everyone acting like it's been over for ages. WHO downgraded the "global health emergency" status back in May 2023, but the disease's status as a pandemic remains. We're about to hit the end of our 4th year of masking and distancing, well, those of us who still care not to get it: the vulnerable and those who live with them. It's a very stark reality to be faced with the majority of a world that doesn't care if your husband dies. In a general sense, there are 8 billion people, I don't expect them to all care about my husband. But getting the looks he gets for still wearing a mask? I am thankfully oblivious to people giving me looks for still wearing one, and if I did happen to notice, I don't care. I have to continue to mask because no one else is. I have to continue to weigh my options for wanting to get out and be a part of society vs will I catch something that will end up landing my husband in the ER?

I changed jobs in 2023, still trying to figure out where I fit and what I do. That instability isn't helping. I don't regret the change, and I think it was the right move for my career. I just hope things getting a little more stable and clear this year.

In addition to Covid concerns, my husband is not healthy. I feel powerless to make any kind of positive change to help him. Dreams of winning the lotto aren't accompanied by a new house or a sports car. They're of getting him healthcare that can make a real difference in his quality of life.

So, yeah, I'm scared, I'm exhausted, and I don't have much hope that this year will bring joy. However, that thing I hate so much, CHANGE, might come in handy this year. Change is guaranteed. So maybe that's where my hope needs to lie for 2024.