Monday, February 05, 2018

Church discontent

Regarding this article.

Why does it take so long and have so much effort put in to help the victims? Even after a hand-delivered letter, it's still an issue? Only now are they finally sending an investigator in to look at Barros, who did not directly commit the crimes but aided & abetted.

My confusion rests in the fact that the Pope seems to not know anything about this instance despite a hand-delivered letter. Do we know if he actually read it? No. He likely receives millions of pieces of communication daily. It's disheartening, though, that his stance was to say no one had come forward when in fact they had. Why not reserve comment until he had a chance to refresh his memory. No one is perfect, but I'm disappointed by this.

It adds to my growing disappointment with the Catholic church. Locally, our bishop and committee have had 6 months to consider feedback and plan to close churches. An announcement was promised for January. We're still waiting, and have no definite date when an announcement will be made.

A specific person in the church hierarchy does not like my church/community. One might describe it as "having a hate on" for my church. I'm afraid that may be clouding the judgement of those making the decision. Despite all of the evidence supporting the fact that we can and should remain open. I've debated writing a letter to the bishop, but am not sure how much of a difference I could make given that some of my information is technically hearsay, though common knowledge.

What I do know is that if it is decided my church will close, then I am not sure what I will choose to do. A global community where we can't recover from scandal, and a local community forced to go elsewhere because someone has a vendetta. I'm not interested in joining a different community. The reason I have stayed with this one for over 25 years is because I like it. I like the building, I like the comfort that comes with familiarity. I'm not interested in making a new emotional investment in another community based on an arbitrary decision to close a building because someone has a stick up his butt. I can talk to Jesus and God from anywhere. I go to this church for more than just that conversation: I go to spend time with my mother, to see friends, to be a lector, and to have that dedicated time to focus on my faith in an environment of comfort. So what if I want it to be in that building and not another? That's my [possibly quite narrow-minded] choice.

The argument, of course, is that church is not a building. No, it's not. But it does house a community of people who actively choose to come from all over the city to this specific church. We're not all going to move together and keep our traditions intact. We're the ones forced to adjust to a new place and adapt to their existing ways. It won't be without struggle, to say the least.

I don't want my church to close, and based on the info we presented to the bishop, we have a very convincing case to stay open. If the decision is to close it anyway, then I won't have much faith left in the leadership. If I don't have faith in the leadership, then going to a different building doesn't solve anything. In a time where attendance is dwindling rapidly, they can't really afford to make a decision like this and piss people off to the point of quitting. And that seems to be the direction I'm heading.

Thanks, Emma

At risk of turning this blog into all about mourning Romy, I make another post about him.

Christmas was hard. There were a lot of Romy associations that went with xmas: how much he loved sleeping under the tree. How much he loved to drink out of the watering can. After xmas, it seemed to be a bit better. Then, last night, it hit me again.

Not sure if it was a recent discussion about cancer, but I couldn't fall asleep last night without thinking of him. I was listening to some background noise of crackling fire, which reminded me of how he liked to lay in front of the wood stove, pointing his white belly at the heat source.

Usually I focus on fearing death, and trying to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. But the thought occurred to me last night that I will get to see Romy again in Heaven. Will he be waiting for me? Will it be like Narnia, where Aslan returns and everyone is so happy? Will we be able to communicate in the same language in Heaven? Maybe this Heaven thing is something to look forward to. An odd statement from someone who goes to church every week, but true.

From there, my thoughts devolved into remembering his last day/hours. Then I just got incredibly sad and tried to get my mind off of it.

Woke up this morning, and was still sad. Came out of the bathroom downstairs, and who do I see sitting on the lounger but Emma with her paws tucked under. She readily accepted my petting and purred loudly. Thanks, Emma, for helping lift my spirits by reminding me of some Romy-isms and also that I need to also put some love into you, too.

As I typed that, Emma showed up at my side and I gave her some head pets.