July 2015 was a turning point. I made some admissions, sought some assistance, and made some significant change. It did turn out ok and for the better, despite my worst-case scenario expectations.
I'm 9 months into a new job. Still getting comfortable with things, but happy to be in a much more positive environment. I laugh again. I am reminded daily that I am helping people, albeit in an indirect way. The end result isn't helping someone earn money to maintain their boat or buy a new SUV.
I'm able to think without being overwhelmed. This is big, and very relieving.
I can finally reach "calm" again.