Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Ow, hot

I said this morning as I jumped right back into the frying pan at work. 1 month to vacation, and boy do I need it.

I managed to make it through to the security call for John's plane before I started to cry. Not bad. I was still busy working this morning before we left so that kept me distracted. Once the security call comes though, you know time's up. You see the pain and sadness in the eyes staring back at you and wonder how 2 weeks can go by so quickly.

It gets harder every time, and you try to placate yourself by looking forward to the next visit, but that doesn't help much. But, I've made my choice. I have to deal with the crappy parts and suck it up - life won't go on hold for me to cry for a couple of hours.

Decisions are going to have to be made soon, as I don't think either of us want to go through the lengthy time apart scenarios much longer. Coming home to a font just isn't the same. It will be an interesting year, that's for sure. One of us will have to move to another country, and I honestly don't know which one of us that will be. I still haven't been there yet, and with the growing frustration in my job and lack of education to go with it, I may be better off leaving here. I don't know. It's a lot to think about, and I have to start the thought process.


Lisa said...

You know, Mazzer would be a good person to talk to about this. Heck, he's married to her, and he's still not allowed to stay in the country with her. He would certainly be able to identify, and perhaps offer advice to help cope.

Shawn said...

This one's always a toughy. Went through this in moving provinces, never mind a country away, and that was tough enough. Thinking of you Liz, and hope it all works out whatever the decision is.

Liza said...

A long time ago, my daughter asked me how she would know when she was in love. I told her that she'd know and she wouldn't have to ask the question.

My son is there now. What decisions are going to be made? How is it going to work out? Is someone going to relocate? It will answer itself when it needs to be answered.

There is a reason you two met via the internet and then in person. There is a reason that my son, who hates to fly, went all the way to Canada to spend his Christmas with you. There is a reason you want to come to CA and see for yourself what it is.

Synchronicity? Fate? Destiny? Whatever it is, when you need to decide what else it's going to be and where that is going to happen, you'll have an answer without having to ask the question.