I am the desert

Apparently all of the moisture has been sucked out of me. I have to be the driest thing around right now. I guess that means I'd better switch to the Aveeno body wash in the shower.

Speaking of deserts, Jenn checked the PO box over the weekend and lo and behold, I am now the proud owner of some maps of Tucson. A little late, but what the hell. It was fun to look at the map and realize a) how much ground we covered when we got lost; and b) how large Tucson really is. The section of Tucson in which we spent the most time was actually North Tucson, which has its own map. We've decided we definitely want to go back there, it's a special place for us. And we certainly know the streets of North Tucson quite well. :) I miss the cacti. My desktop is currently a picture I took from our "Kill Me in the Desert" hike through Sauguaro National Park.

Got some more xmas shopping done yesterday. My uncle is complete, all of his things were ordered online and are on their way. My goddaughter is also complete, with a DVD on its way from Amazon and a cuddle pillow being sent to the Sears pickup area at New System Laundry, just up the street from my office. I swear, I don't know what I would do without online shopping anymore. There is just so much available, without having to run all over the city looking for things. Especially in a city with fewer choices such as this. It's great if you have time to go uptown or out East and look around for things, but I do not have such amounts of free time. The fact that I can order stuff online and get it delivered to me is a huge help.

Now that I am closer to being finished the shopping, I must set up Wrapping Central™ in my basement. I have to wrap an item for the work Yankee Swap, which is taking place at our office Christmas Party on Monday night. We're having it at the Ale House. Prime Rib supper for me!! Also I have to wrap my older brother's presents so I can take them up to Montreal with me next week, and while I am there, I will wrap my nephew's presents that I bought last weekend and just left in Montreal. Wrapping is the part of xmas that I actually do enjoy. It feeds the OCD to get the paper fitting just right and taping things down. I am not as picky or as creative as some when it comes to wrapping, but the gifts always look nice & neat.

Got a phone call yesterday saying my cell phone, which had been sent away for repair, was back and ready for pickup. I have missed my phone (been using a loaner) but I have not missed its crazy antics. It would freeze and stay at 1:04pm for the rest of an afternoon; it would not respond when I pressed buttons; it wouldn't shut off a few times. I'll be glad to have it back and working again.

Tonight will be the beginnings of setting up Wrapping Central™ and digging out the Christmas decorations. I am still undecided about what to do on the outside of the house. I may get some lights; I feel a little left out being the only one who hasn't "decked" outside. This weekend will be the big decorating weekend inside for me, as I have to get it done before I take off for the wedding. I like having lots of lights inside the house, it makes things feel special. The crappy part is in January, when everything has to come down. It feels so stark and empty after that. But for now, happy and cheerful and multi-colored.

Parties

I will be hosting the xmas party/yankee swap on Friday Dec. 23rd. If that date doesn't work for anyone, please speak now.

We need to decide on a venue for New Year's. I'd prefer not to host since I'm doing xmas, and I have no time off this holiday season, so one party is enough for me.

Any volunteers?

Blah blah, blah blah blah

Yeah, not really feeling the blogging this past week. Pretty much all I had to say was whining and complaining, and I wasn't looking for any comments, so I've been keeping to myself.

In short: Christmas sucks. Wish it was still about Jesus' birthday and people still went to church.

Concert: was great. I sat down the whole time, but that does not mean I had a bad time. It was a more introspective concert, with Bono doing a lot of speaking about poverty. Highlights for me were "Until The End of the World" (which is just a great song anyway), the dedication of "Stuck in a Moment" to Hutch, and the closing with "Bad", where Daniel Lanois joined the band on stage. Great show. Can't wait to get the DVD now, but have to wait because it's on my xmas list. If I don't get it for xmas, I will pick it up at some Boxing Day sales.

I came home to find that mine is the only house in the court that does not have any outside xmas decorations. I don't own any, not yet anyway. I have the colored spotlights to put up, at least. It will save on electricity. This weekend coming up will be decorating weekend. With the wedding fast approaching (less than 2 weeks away), I am running out of time in which to get things done.

I had my dress fitting for the wedding. Here's a picture of the style. It's close to this color, actually. There's beading on the top section, which is satin, that you can't see here very well. We have matching satin shawls because it will be cold. Somehow I don't think that will help me in the heat dept, but at least it'll look nice. The bottom part is a crepe kind of fabric. I like the dress, and hope I have some kind of event to wear it a second time.

Did some shopping while I was in Montreal, but not as much as I would have liked. I went armed with a list and ideas, but just couldn't find what I was looking for a lot of the time. Sold out, picked over... the usual for this time of year. I came home last night and ordered 2 presents online, hopefully they show up in time. I still need one last big blitz in order to get the bulk of it finished. I am contemplating skipping class tomorrow night and getting that done instead. Tuesday night is a better time to shop than Saturday.

Yawn

I am tired. Had a busy end of the week.

Spent Thursday in Moncton for work, so that was 3h of driving. Took lunch and tried to do some shopping, but for some reason I was having a very unlucky time finding the stuff I needed. I only ended up with one DVD, a magazine, and some Advil. So much for that.

Friday saw me getting up early and driving to Grand Falls, with a stop in Fredericton on the way up. 6h of driving on Friday. 1000km in 2 days. The work didn't take that long, it was just that I needed to be there to do it. I was pretty toasted by the time Friday night came around, so I stayed home to rest. Chatted a bit with John but couldn't stay up too late because I was tired.

Saturday morning I attempted to sleep in, but now that the cold is here, as soon as I wake up I have to start the stove, then go back to bed while the house warms up. Didn't get much more sleep, so I picked up Angels & Demons and read that for a bit. Borrowed it from Chris and have been trying to finish it for a while. Between yesterday & today I did manage to get it done. I really liked it, granted a book full of Catholic stuff is bound to appeal to me anyway.

I managed to walk for an hour on each day this weekend, so I am proud that I didn't slack off despite the colder weather. It has made my legs very sore today though, I have the heating pad on them right now so I don't feel like I'm walking around like a penguin :)

Went to church yesterday, where our new furnace was finally working. It was nice & toasty warm for mass, which was a nice change compared to the last few weeks.

Last night I went to see A Christmas Carol. Great job everyone! I really enjoyed the show. Sorry I didn't come backstage afterward, I just didn't feel like dealing with the stupid security people.

I am still tired after this past week. I am not looking forward to the start of this week. My crazy dance instructor has decided, since we started class late and have missed a few weeks, that she's going to cram as much dance time in before xmas as possible. So I have to dance for 1.5h tomorrow, 2h Tuesday, 1.5h the following Monday, and 2h Tuesday and 2h Thursday. I am going to die. Or drop out. That's too much. I have been dragging my ass to class as it is, and now she's going to kill me with dance. This isn't fun anymore. 1h a week is fun, and enough that I am not too tired afterward. 5.5h of dance next week is not my idea of fun. I have a flu shot on Tuesday. This means my arm will be sore for the rest of the day. Which means I will have trouble dancing and swinging the veil around at class on Tuesday night.

I seem to be behind in my communications with people. If you haven't heard from me, it's not personal and I haven't forgotten you. I had a very lethargic week this week, and just basically didn't feel like talking to anyone. Maybe this week will be better and I can catch up with people.

I leave on Thursday for Montreal. Friday morning I have a dress fitting for my bridesmaid's dress. The wedding is just under 3 weeks away. Hard to believe it's that close. No one has heard from my mother about whether or not she will attend the wedding. Either way, it will be tough on my brother. If she doesn't show, then he has to deal with the disappointment of his own mother not coming to his wedding. If she does show, he has to deal with the fact that my mother, father and stepmother will all be in the same room. Have no idea what will happen.

Chipping away

I am slowly but surely chipping away at the list of xmas presents I must buy. Bought a few more yesterday on my lunchhour, and hope to pick up one more tonight, for my nephew who is 5. I want to get him something non-action figure or gun-related, as his mother doesn't like him having those types of toys. I'm not his parent, so I abide by her rules, but I am not a huge fan of the action figure or gun market anyway.




I am looking at getting my nephew some kind of active toy. My brother suggested that he might really like one of these, as he's always trying to bounce on other balls that aren't made for that purpose.

I also saw a very neat thing called the Fun Roller, which looks pretty cool












I feel pretty good about getting my nephew presents like these. Sometimes I feel like kids just can't be kids anymore. The simpler the toy, the better. You get to use your imagination, instead of having someone else's imagination forced on you, like watching TV. You could imagine you are in the Bouncing Ball Championships, and you're racing to the finish line! Or, you're the tire on a truck that is driving down the road. You get to exercise your body and your brain.

Less cranky now

Ok, I had lunch, took a walk, had a mid-afternoon snack and am now rid of the headache and feeling less cranky.

My weekend was eventful and uneventful. I crammed all of the events into one day.

Friday was incredibly lazy. I don't think I even got dressed until after lunch, and I wasn't even sick. I woke up, watched TV I had taped during the week, stopped to observe the 2 minutes of silence at 11am. I really can't remember doing much of anything on Friday. It was a nice, lazy day off.

Saturday was the big day crammed full of stuff. Dad picked me up just before 9am and we hit the road for Maine. We hit the border around 10am at Milltown. Decided to avoid the traffic at the main crossing. Wise idea, as it was backed up. We were driving with a small enclosed trailer, so the border guard wanted to look inside. We said we were going across for shopping, and she got this scared look on her face and said "are you going to fill it?" when she looked at the trailer. Hehehe.

We hit the Airline at 10:10am. I know this because it meant I missed stopping at the Post Office by 20 minutes, grrrr... but we had a deadline. However, when we were over halfway through the Airline, my older brother called and said he had to turn back and get his fiance's passport, so they were going to be an hour late. GRRRRR. I could have waited the 20min and stopped at the Post Office. Too late now.

With the extra time we had on our hands, Dad and I decided to go into Bangor and knock a few stores off our list. We headed to Sam's Club, where I got a 3-pack of Christmas Kleenex and Dad got a few things for himself which I took as presents for his upcoming birthday and Christmas. This shopping with Dad thing is pretty good, because he's extremely hard to buy for. Yeah, he knows what he's getting, but at least it's stuff he wants. We went to buy gas at Sam's, but since he had mailed in his membership renewal and they hadn't yet received their money, they cancelled his account and wouldn't let us get gas. Boooo. Your cheque's in the mail!!

We then headed over to Borders, where I picked up a gift for someone and Dad got a Maine map. We both have multiple maps of Maine, but of course none with us, and the shortcuts to Sugarloaf are better found when you know the actual route numbers. So armed with the map and me as navigator, we headed for Sugarloaf. Was kind of nice getting back to being my Dad's navigator, he trusts me with that duty since I love maps and am not directionally-challenged like my mother. Dad could have found his way there without a map, but we didn't want to make any incorrect turns and wind up late.

Getting off the I95 and onto secondary and lesser highways held some interesting sights. The first thing that caught me off guard was snow - the further we went, the more snow that was on the ground. Not just a skiff of snow either - enough that it was 7°C out, but there was still lots on the ground. You could see on the side of the road where it had been plowed recently.

As we were driving along, we happened to see 2 birds on the side of the road... birds? Those are hens! A couple of chickens had escaped and were hanging out on the side of the road. Next we were driving along and all of a sudden there's a racecar trying to turn onto another road, but he's going so fast that he drives straight into the ditch! I did a double-take, as I wasn't expecting to see a numbered race car driving along and wiping out. Very strange!

We got held up at some construction and my older brother called. We were supposed to meet them at the hotel on the mountain, but they were having staff meetings and the dining room was closed. So much for that plan. We met them instead at the gas station at the entrance to the ski hill. We swapped the trailer for my long-awaited kitchen table & chairs, which fit into the back of the truck without even having to put the seat down. SUVs suck gas, but they sure come in handy sometimes. For those who are interested, Sugarloaf opens next week. All of the runs looked snow-covered.

Since we couldn't eat at the hotel, we drove back to the next town and had lunch together. My future sister-in-law noticed my necklace that John had given me for my birthday, so I showed them that and a picture of the two of us - she said we made a nice-looking couple :) I also showed them a couple of ideas I had for my nephew for Christmas presents, and they liked one of them and suggested another that may be good. A trip to Toys R Us will be in my future this week, I think. I'd like to get my brother & nephew's presents bought and wrapped so I can take them up to Montreal either at the end of the month when I go, or when I head up for the wedding. Nice not to have to worry about shipping this year. After lunch my brother changed the headlight in his truck while my Dad supervised and SIL and I chatted while shivering - it was none too warm. Then we said our goodbyes, and left for the return trip. I think Dad was sad to see it be such a short visit, he commented that he doesn't get to see my brother enough.

Our way back was less eventful, being close to sunset and then dark. By the time we hit Bangor my Dad was pretty tired. I was going to take over driving but we were closer to Bangor than he thought by the time he mentioned it, so he plowed on. We hit Bangor Mall first, and since I was in Christmas shopping for other people mode, I was able to buzz through the mall in about 50 min, as one store was out of what I wanted to get someone for a present. Waited about 10 min for Dad to come back to the truck, then we headed over to the new Kohl's. Nice store. I picked up some stuff on sale - a Halloween tablecloth, placemat and towels that have gravestones and says "Halloween Rocks" at the bottom :)

Next we headed to Target, where I bought a couple of Christmas decoration-type things, but didn't find much else to buy. I went looking for a specific item that they were all out of. This seemed to be a recurring pattern for me on this trip - I'd go look for something, and the store would be out of stock. Actually a lot of the stores looked pretty picked over. Bombarded by Canadians on their long weekend. A quick stop at Home Depot to see what they had for closet rods yielded nothing I wanted to buy.

Last stop was Shaw's grocery store. They had turkeys on for 49¢/lb, so I got myself a 14.5lb turkey for $7 US. Go US Thanksgiving! That will make a nice xmas turkey. Also loaded up the cart with the usual stash of muffin mixes for breakfast, my favorite marinades, and (of course) IBC Rootbeer.

After that, we hit the road. My Dad plowed through the Airline in 1h 10min. Not much traffic at 9pm on a Saturday night, but we did manage to hit a coyote. I had my eyes closed and was resting, when Dad muttered something. I opened my eyes and all of a sudden there was something right in front of the truck and we drove over it like a speed bump. Dad said the coyote had crossed the road, and was clear of him, but at the last second doubled back in front of the truck. Would have done damage to my car, but the truck was high enough that it just ended up being more of a speed bump than anything else. Ka-chunk. Sorry coyote :(

We crossed the border at Milltown again, and the guy had us come in and pay out HST but that was it. Thankfully we didn't have to get into a discussion about the table. Yes, it was obviously a used item, but we had no slip of paper from Customs saying it had been brought over from Canada by my brother. No fault of his, though. He did stop and ask for that, but they wouldn't give him one. Said just to call the border crossing if there was any trouble. Yeah. Because you're going to remember the guy with the table? Because you'll still be working the crossing later tonight? Anyway, thankfully not a problem.

Getting back on the highway home, we noticed some hubub ahead. Someone had hit a deer, which was still lying on the side of the road. It didn't seem like anyone was hurt, no one was frantic. They were just kind of hanging around waiting for the authorities or a tow, I think.

We arrived back home at my house and put the table together. Unloaded the truck of my shopping finds. Chatted quickly with John to tell him I'd arrived safely at home, and then crashed. It was a long day and I was exhausted. Wished I could have made karaoke but I was too tired (and likely too late by the time I got home.)

Sunday I got up and went to church. They are still having issues installing the new natural gas-powered furnace, so the church was pretty cold. We made it through mass in 40 minutes, as the priest didn't really do a homily in the interest of not keeping us in a cold church too long. After that I came home, and kept on top of the fire to get the house warmed up. It was a slow start yesterday, but soon enough I had it nice & toasty.

While I waited for the house to get a little warmer, I kept myself moving by cleaning up the table. My brother had been storing it out in his garage, and had been using the garage to do some sanding, so every piece was covered in dust, and just had some general wear & tear gunk on it. I took some Murphy's Oil Soap and water and went over it all in detail and got it looking nice & clean. Spent the rest of the day doing odd cleaning, chatting with John, and watching some football. I am still on top of the league right now, with John 1 point behind me. Tonight's game should be interesting.

This week sees me heading to exotic Grand Falls... I am dreading that. Trying to pick a day to go when it's less likely to snow. Also have to head up to Moncton on Thursday, which is good - I'll be able to knock off some more xmas presents for people at Costco.

That's what I'd like for Christmas. A Costco in Saint John. Someone get on that, will you? :)

Countdown

I've started the countdown. The countdown to when Christmas preparations wear me out to the point where I get sick. Usually happens around Dec. 9th-ish, my Dad's birthday. I've been sick on his birthday the past 2 years. This year, however, I can't get sick then because that's the day before my brother's wedding. So I guess it will have to come earlier or later.

I never get headaches, but apparently I have one this morning. It's made me quite cranky.

Rant: I am not referring to anyone specifically with this rant. Just general malaise. So don't think I am referring to anyone personally.

I get extremely stressed out this time of year. I wasn't born with an "I don't give a fuck" switch, so I am incapable of buying presents for people without caring whether they like what they get or not. Of course, not everyone thinks this way, which means I put hours upon hours of effort into thinking of presents, shopping for them, wrapping them, delivering them. The presents I get in return often don't reflect the same level of thought and preparation. Some of them can be downright crap.

I don't care about receiving the most expensive presents. It's the fact that no thought goes into some presents. I'd rather people spend money on the less fortunate than get me a crap present. Wrap up a Mars bar and give me that for xmas, and I'm happy. It's my favorite chocolate bar, won't sit around the house going unused, gathering dust and getting in my way. And it shows me that you know me well enough to get me something I really enjoy - even if it only cost $1. The fact that someone sat down and consciously said "hey, Liz really likes this, I should get it for her" is worth more to me than most things.

I sat last night with my list of things bought, left to buy, and the usual empty spaces for people who are impossible to buy for. Eternally frustrating. This saps my love of Christmas down the drain. I care too much. I could just get these people some crap present... but I can't. It's just not in me to do that.

Retitled Romance Novels

These are pretty funny. :)

Anyone going to Calais on Saturday?

Is anyone out there going to Calais on Saturday? If so, can you let me know?

I'll be heading through before the post office opens and won't be back until after it's closed. I have 3 packages there waiting and was hoping not to have to make an extra trip.

Who knows, those long-lost maps of Tucson may be waiting for me too :)

It's Official

Tonight I booked my flights for my visit to SoCal in February. I leave on Feb 3rd (Friday) and come home on Feb 12 (Sunday). Had to make sure to get that $750 exemption in, since every store I can imagine is "right across the street." Hope I win the lottery by then. John will have to work some of that week, leaving me alone to go shopping. Dangerous. Very dangerous.

A couple of pics

Wow.

Sitting in my office this morning, I just had a visit from the receptionist. She brought in this very long box. I just received a dozen of the longest-stemmed red roses I have ever seen.

I don't have my camera with me right now, but I will post a pic later.

Wow. They are absolutely beautiful. I don't know what to say other than thank you.

Ok, that was pretty hard

We spent a quiet day together yesterday. Filled mostly with comments of "I don't want to go" and "I don't want you to go". Inamongst that running dialogue, we did manage to get a few things done.

We spent the morning lounging and having breakfast, as the evil clock decided to go at double-speed. Then we headed uptown for a special treat for John. He got his head shaved with a straight razor - something that he can't get at home. He was quite pleased with it and I think will be looking forward to getting another when he comes back at Christmas. We then headed to the Market and Brunswick Square, and picked up a couple of things for him to take back home. A quick stop at my office to take my phone off call forward and then we were off to church. Unfortunately the furnace is still in the middle of installation, so it was still a tad cold, but should be complete this week. Coming out of church my former pastor stopped me to chat, as he was in town for a funeral. It was nice to see him again.

On our way home from church we stopped and got some Chinese food for supper. We sat and ate that while watching an episode of Coupling. Go leftovers :)

After supper we made the wise decision of packing him up before getting too comfortable during the rest of the evening. Knowing how my couches like to swallow people, and that we had planned on watching a movie, this was indeed a wise choice. So we reluctantly packed everything up in his suitcases to be ready for the early morning flight.

Earlier in the day, he had gotten water in his ear and it had been affecting him ever since. We tried to get it to drain, also used olive oil, but to no avail. He couldn't hear out of his right ear. Either the plane flight home was going to make it better or worse. I hope he made out ok.

We watched Sideways last night, as he had never seen it before. I think he liked it, maybe not loved it, but liked it. I kept asking if anything looked familiar and where things were in relation to Irvine. A little like the geography aspect of watching Sideways :)

Last night we also sat down to book his flights at Christmas. It's a lot easier trying to work things out with different options while we were both looking at the same screen. He wanted to fly back through the airport closest to him, but again the times and options out of LAX were cheaper and better, so it looks like that is the route he will be taking. Another red-eye here, and a great flight home that has him leaving here late morning and arriving there around 4:30pm.

We got a bit of sleep last night but not a great amount. I was either upset, or unconscious and having some crazy dream about everyone in Toronto who was on a highway just dropped dead in their cars. Very weird.

Goodbyes are painful, and this was no exception. Although being fully capable of living on my own, and - more recently than before - enjoying it a lot of the time, I had very quickly gotten used to having someone else around. A friend of mine said to me that our time together is condensed. That is very true. It seems in some ways like he was here for a lot longer than a week, and in other ways he was barely here any time at all. Technically speaking, this week was our second date, but certainly not in the typical sense. We had to cram a lot more into one week than the typical relationship. You don't often take someone to meet your family on your second date. Everything went so well this week. Again there was that sense of things being easy. We have an understanding with each other that I can't explain, but I've come to value it greatly.

His flight was at 6:40am this morning, so we headed off to the airport around 5:30am. Checked him in, listened to the agent describe what he had to do in Montreal so if he didn't hear with his ear, I could repeat it. We sat down and just stared each other down for the next 10 minutes until he finally had to go to the gate. We said goodbye. I walked out of the airport crying. I got in the car and tried to keep it together, because it was dark out and I needed to drive home safely. I wasn't doing such a good job at that until a thought popped into my head, that I won't share here, but I felt instantly more calm, drove home safely and went back to bed until around 10am.

He's flying over the middle of the US right now, hopefully not in too much pain because of his ear. He lands around 3:30 and then has to get luggage and be driven home. Hope to hear from him between 5-6.

Then the fun begins. Where I become Benguiat Frisky and he Calisto. Where we calculate 4h time zone differences again. Where we're apart. It sucks, but it's better than not having him in my life at all. So I take what I can get, post his Christmas itinerary on the fridge, and look forward to seeing him again.

Time goes more quickly on the East coast

When I was out West in September, time always felt like it was on my side. It always seemed like it should be later than it actually was. At home, however, it always seems like someone keeps resetting my clock to a time that is later. Especially this week, I really don't know where it's gone.

It's been busy this week. I had actually planned on the weekdays being less scheduled than they have been, but it didn't turn out that way. Many people to meet, see, and talk to have meant a lot more scheduling than I would have liked. Maybe Christmas will go a little more slowly and with some time to just curl up on the couch and relax together.

It seemed like an endless wait between September 18 and October 28, especially the final two weeks. Now the trip is almost over, and it feels like it's gone by way too quickly. At the same time, it feels in a lot of ways like I found a missing piece that has always been here.

This was an important week for me. After having only spent 2.5 days together in Tucson, where we were both "on vacation", having him come here and plunk him into my life to see how it would all work out was something I needed to do. I had my reservations. I've been a single girl living alone for over a year now, with a distinct set of rules that can best be described as "anal". My last experience at living with someone, while there were great times, also came with a lot of put-downs and lack of respect. I never wanted that to happen again. This is only a visit and not truly living together, but I can still see a huge difference compared to my past.

Most of the things we truly appreciate are small. I can't tell you how much it means to me that when I come home after work, the outside lights are on because it's dark. The house is warm because he has the fire going (and usually hotter than even I prepare). There is someone there to greet me with a big hug and a lot of love. I get the impression that my house is going to seem very cold and empty next week, and for the next month or so.

I have been spoiled rotten this week. I hope I have earned and deserve it - part of me doesn't think that I do.

I am beyond lucky to have such an amazing person in my life.

I don't want you to go either.

Good news!

I got some great news today. I am finally getting my kitchen table & chairs that I have been waiting for since earlier this year! My Dad & older brother are meeting up to swap a trailer, so my brother will also be bringing down my table and chairs and my Dad will bring them the rest of the way. Finally! No more trick chairs!

John has been here a few days now, and things have been great. He's detailed our adventures on his blog, so I won't repeat all of that here. It is so nice to have someone around who actually wants to help me do things, and having that someone be a bf is a great added bonus :)

Tonight is dance class. I am starting to feel less than enthusiastic again about it. I don't know why. I don't feel like practicing. Last week's class was cancelled due to the impending wind storm. This week I don't feel like going *at all* because I have company. Maybe it will pick up for me again in the next couple of weeks.

Just heard that a hook fell off the wall at home and took some paint with it. Argh!