When I was out West in September, time always felt like it was on my side. It always seemed like it should be later than it actually was. At home, however, it always seems like someone keeps resetting my clock to a time that is later. Especially this week, I really don't know where it's gone.
It's been busy this week. I had actually planned on the weekdays being less scheduled than they have been, but it didn't turn out that way. Many people to meet, see, and talk to have meant a lot more scheduling than I would have liked. Maybe Christmas will go a little more slowly and with some time to just curl up on the couch and relax together.
It seemed like an endless wait between September 18 and October 28, especially the final two weeks. Now the trip is almost over, and it feels like it's gone by way too quickly. At the same time, it feels in a lot of ways like I found a missing piece that has always been here.
This was an important week for me. After having only spent 2.5 days together in Tucson, where we were both "on vacation", having him come here and plunk him into my life to see how it would all work out was something I needed to do. I had my reservations. I've been a single girl living alone for over a year now, with a distinct set of rules that can best be described as "anal". My last experience at living with someone, while there were great times, also came with a lot of put-downs and lack of respect. I never wanted that to happen again. This is only a visit and not truly living together, but I can still see a huge difference compared to my past.
Most of the things we truly appreciate are small. I can't tell you how much it means to me that when I come home after work, the outside lights are on because it's dark. The house is warm because he has the fire going (and usually hotter than even I prepare). There is someone there to greet me with a big hug and a lot of love. I get the impression that my house is going to seem very cold and empty next week, and for the next month or so.
I have been spoiled rotten this week. I hope I have earned and deserve it - part of me doesn't think that I do.
I am beyond lucky to have such an amazing person in my life.
I don't want you to go either.